Becoming SOLDIER
by XoxStrifexoX
Summary: Zack meets his new neighbor Cloud they quickly become friends & vow to join SOLDIER but can Zack&Cloud handle the training and abuse? And will their friendship strain or turn into something more...? PLEASE REVIEW
1. Chapter 1

Zack, age thirteen, bounced between the windows in his small home peering out of them with an unrivaled amount of curiosity. His energy seemingly boundless his mother mused as she watched the boy strain to see out the windows to get a look at their new neighbors. The truck had just pulled in an hour or so ago and since then Zack had started to pester his mother about going to greet them. She told him to be patient, which she knew was quite impossible, and that the neighbors needed sometime to settle themselves into their brand new home and than they could go over to officially meet them.

Zack stopped at one of the windows and blinked furiously, "Ma! MA! Look there!"

He pointed to the window not realizing how close he was and ended up slamming his finger into the glass. He whimpered and grabbed his finger and whined. His mother just giggled at the boy, she knew he was being over dramatic and that it didn't hurt the boy at all.

The boy, as she knew he would, just shrugged and continued, "Ma, there's a boy with them! I think he's about my age!"

She smiled at her boy his blue eyes glowing and his raven black hair bouncing in front of his face. There weren't very many children in the small town and Zack stressed this daily. His class was only a few children strong and even though Zack got along with all the kids he couldn't find one person he cared to hang out with for more than a few hours. Zack become bored easily and the kids, in his eyes, were just like this town; boring and dull.

Zack turned back to the window to stare at the boy. He was shorter than Zack was perhaps even as much as 3 or 4 inches shorter. His hair was bright and pale which Zack found to be remarkably similar to his skin tone. Zack pondered how someone could be so pale; wondering where exactly had the boy lived before this. In Zack's opinion the boy must've lived under a rock and never saw the light of day. Gongaga had anything but the lack of sun, and so everyone in town had a healthy golden glow. The boy inched closer to the window his nose pressed firmly against the glass. He couldn't make out the boys facial features very well so he focused on the boy's small frame. If it weren't for his short blonde spiky hair Zack would've sworn it could have been a girl. The boy was slim, lean, and visibly no fat at all. He noted how the boy's clothes, a white shirt and a pair of jeans, hung a little loose around the boy. His arms were skinny as well and the boy could only make out a bit of muscle tone peer through the pale skin as he carried boxes from the truck to the house. As soon as the other boy disappeared Zack began to pace away from the window. He hated waiting he wanted to go over and meet the mysterious boy. Zack smiled as he made up his mind finding a good enough excuse. He rushed himself to the door and threw on his shoes, "I'm going to introduce myself and go help out ok ma!" Before she could object he was out the door in a rush to meet the new boy and his family.

Zack stopped just short of running into the boy's mother. Zack scratched the back of his head with an apology sheepishly before extending his hand out to the woman, "Sorry about that. Names Zack, I'm your new neighbor I saw you guys moving in thought I'd ask if you needed any help." She smiled softly and ruffled the boys black hair and he dropped his hand to his side smiling back, "It's nice to meet you Zackary, and yes I would very much appreciate the help. It's just me and my son so any help would be wonderful, thank you. And if it's alright with your mother I can make sure supper if you already haven't had any."

Zack's smile beamed brighter. If the boy's mother was this warm and friendly he wondered how the boy would be. The boy obviously took after his mother; she had the same pale blonde hair and small slender frame. As Zack looked at her face he noticed the soft feminine features; she was a very beautiful woman and her eyes were the brightest crystal blue he had ever seen. He snapped himself from his thoughts and smiled extending his arms, "Load me up!"

The woman smiled down at him and grabbed a box for him to carry into the house. He took the box from her as she thanked him again as he made his way into the house with the box. He hadn't paid any attention to what lay ahead of him as he walked. He suddenly felt himself bump into something and he lost his balance. As he heard a similar thud to the floor he peered over the box now lying in his lap to the 'someone' not 'something' he had bumped into. His eyes brightened and his breath caught in his chest. Zack thought that the boy's mother had stunning eyes and features but he was taken aback by how beautiful the boy before him was. The boy's eyes were brighter and glowed more than his mothers. They were also a deeper shade of blue, still pale, Zack thought they looked like diamonds the way they shone.

"Who are you," The boy asked a bit confused as to why some random boy was carrying a box of 'his' things. Zack blinked than grinned, "I'm Zack, I saw you guys moving in and offered your mom some help, pretty lady; nice too!" The other boy stared at Zack blankly. "…We don't…" Before the boy could finish his mother walked in a laughed at the two, "No injuries on either party I hope?" The boy scowled and turned his head and Zack could only bring his hand to the back of his head and scratch at it. Zack's attention went back to the boy who he forgot hadn't been able to finish what he was going to say, "Oh so what were you going to say?"

The boy just shook his head as he stood, "Nothing, don't worry about it…"

Zack nodded solemnly and before the boy got a chance to walk away he piped up, "Oh I never caught your name."

The boy looked over to Zack and sighed under his breath, which Zack almost didn't catch; almost, "Cloud…"

"Cloud huh. I like it," Zack nodded as he spoke pushing the box to the side before standing up himself, "So let's get some more boxes Cloud."

Soon, with the two boys helping, they were able to finish. It only took perhaps an hour or so and Zack made it a point to try to break Cloud's barrier during that time. Cloud, for whatever reason, was pretty withdrawn. Zack being a complete opposite image of Cloud in physical features and personality understood that Cloud just wasn't going to be like him. But Zack still thought it really strange that the blonde kept his distance. He was a molded in the beautiful image of his mother but really that's all they seemed to have in common. His mother was warm and welcoming and very affectionate. Cloud on the other hand was pretty quiet, ridged, and distant. Even when the boy would speak Zack felt his heart weigh heavy in his chest at the thick sound of Cloud's monotone responses. He wondered why Cloud acted the way he did, and he made it a point to find out.

The two now sat in Cloud's new room, Zack helping him unpack the boxes silently at first until he decided to break the silence.

"So, where'd you and your mother move here from?"

Cloud paused a moment from pulling another object out of the box in front of him before continuing and responding, "Nebelheim…"

Zack blinked and suppressed a laugh, "Nebelheim? That sounds like such a backwater town."

Cloud shook his head and scoffed, "Gongaga's not much better."

Zack wiped a tear from his eyes as his laughing died down and nodded thoughtfully, "You got me there Cloudy boy!"

Cloud cringed at the nick name.

"So I haven't seen your dad around…," Zack's voice caught in his throat as he saw the dark look in Cloud's eyes. He hit a sore subject and he regretted voicing his curiosity, "I'm sorry…"

Cloud sighed softly and his eyes seemed to dim with a tint of sadness, "Don't worry about it…"

Zack felt even worse at the mention now seeing the pained look in Cloud's eyes. Zack new the feeling, he grew up with few memories of his father. His father had joined the Shinra army and was away for long periods of time. But with one of the many skirmishes between Shinra and Wutai his father's platoon had been ambushed. His father had fought bravely, they told him, but it wasn't enough. Zack felt pride in his father but missed him madly all the same. He wondered if it had been the same for Cloud. Had his father been an army grunt? By the look in Cloud's eyes Zack dismissed that being the case. Cloud's look portrayed nothing of a look of respect for a great hero, but rather disappointment and shame.

The silence was uncomfortable for Zack and he had to break it, "You'll have to meet my mom, and the other kids. Well, there's not really much going on around here. And there aren't many kids, but I can still show you around either way. Whatcha say to that Cloudy?"

Cloud let a ghost of a smile haunt his lips as he spoke softly, "Alright…"

That was all Zack needed he jumped over to Cloud and grabbed the boy's hand leading him to the door, "I'll bring Cloud back later! We'll be back for dinner!"

Cloud's mother watched her son being literally dragged out of the house by the rambunctious boy. Cloud finally composed himself as he managed to keep up with the boy dragging him along. He could have easily torn his hand from the other boy's grasp but instead he let him lead him through the town. Zack busing himself with showing Cloud around, naming off the house's and where people lived. Going on about stories of all the kids, couples, and elders in the small village; Cloud had begun to think the stories Zack told would be endless. But for some reason Cloud didn't mind. The more he walked around with Zack and the more they spoke, well the more Zack spoke, he found himself relaxing and smiling. Zack went on, "So this is the Lionhart's place. They have a boy named Squall he's pretty quiet, smug though. This one time we were playing a game of football with me and the other boys, it was only four against four," Zack noted sadly," But he was getting all cocky cause he scored a couple touch downs." Zack grinned and gestured to himself with his thumb, "But this kid right here turned that game around. I scored twice as many as he had. I didn't let him get another touchdown throughout the rest of the game. What can I say I got skills!"

Cloud raised his brow with a small smile gently pushing the boy breaking his defiant stance, "I thought you just said Squall was the cocky one."

Zack brought his hand to the back of his head once again with a slight flush, "Well…."

Zack paused and his eyes brightened his smirk reappearing with vengeance, "I almost forgot Cloudy! I didn't show you 'MY' spot. I don't usually show any one but… That's ok. Just don't tell anybody! They might get jealous!"

Cloud couldn't help but chuckle, "There's that cockiness again… So where are we going, we don't have much time it's getting late. My mom will have dinner ready soon."

Zack just smiled, "It won't take long."

Twenty minutes of walking outside of town and Cloud's eyebrow twitched irritably, "I thought you said this wouldn't take long…"

Zack grinned, "Aw it's not that bad Cloudy…. Look we're almost there!"

Zack nearly sprinted forward and pushed through the brush. Zack had brought them out of town and into the woods. And it only seemed to be getting thicker and thicker with tree's bushes and tall plants. Soon they were face to face with what appeared to be a mountain of stone and in the distance Cloud could hear the faint rush of water. Zack pointed a little ways down to an opening in the rock formation and Cloud quirked an eyebrow in question.

"Right through there Cloud."

"You're joking right…"

"Me joke, Come on Cloud be serious!" Zack chuckled and continued on ward soon disappearing as he stepped into the hole carved into the rock. Cloud took in a soft breath and stepped in after Zack. The small tunnel wasn't very long at all, and Cloud had to duck a bit just to get through. When Cloud finally stepped out the other side his heart leap in his chest, the sight before him was stunning.

"This is where I come to think… This is my sanctuary…,"Zack looked to Cloud and smiled, "But I can share if you can keep this a secret between the two of us. Good deal Cloud?"

Cloud nodded not being able to speak. He looked around from where they stood. A tall waterfall tore down the rocks beside them. They stood at the base of the falls on a large formation of rocks that were scattered around the falls. Bright colored flowers bloomed through cracks in the rocks and in patches of dirt. The water slammed into the rocks and into pool of water at its base. The water was crystal clear, something rare, Cloud hadn't seen water so clear before. He could only remember muddy puddles and swamps near his home town. Not even necessarily near, they were still quite a ways away. Cloud shifted as he noticed Zack sit on the rock pulling off his shoes and dipping his feet into the cool water splashing it between his toes. Cloud soon followed suit and sat down beside Zack. They enjoyed the scenery and remained content in their silence.

Zack was the first to speak, "You know, my dad showed this to me. Told me to guard it, it was his and my mother's spot…," he trailed off before continuing, "He was a grunt in the Shinra Army, and wanted to be SOLDIER someday. " Zack's fists tightened and Cloud stare at the balled fists and then back at Zack dreading what he knew Zack would say next.

"He was attacked but a Wutai ambush, he fought the best he could but it wasn't enough. I don't remember him very well, he wasn't home very often. My mom says I look a lot like him," Zack's smile was empty and sad and it made Cloud wince. Zack reached his hand up to his face ghosting his fingers over his cheek, "I decided… I want to be SOLDIER. I want to realize my father's dream and become a hero."

There was a fierce burning of determination that echoed in the boy's throat. Cloud smiled as he looked over Zack's face again. His eyes began to soften and his sad smile turned to a grin of determination. Cloud at that moment wished desperately that he could be like the boy next to him, and he wanted nothing more than to bring Zack to accomplish his dream.

"I'll go with you…"

"Huh," Zack looked over to Cloud in a bit of surprise, "Aw you don't have to do all that Cloudy."

Cloud looked to the water as he gently shifted it against his feet, "I...I want to. I want to be SOLDIER; I want you to be SOLDIER, the both of us…," Cloud stated concretely.

Cloud nodded to confirm his own statement. He would help Zack become SOLDIER and he too would rise in the ranks. Cloud had always wanted to move out of his small town and go to Midgar. Ever since the reactor was built in Nebelheim he noticed the SOLDIER operatives and army grunts entering and leaving the area. He even snuck out a few times to see them. The members of SOLDIER's eyes burned bright with Mako. It was unnatural but mesmerizing. The intensity of the low ranked SOLDIER's was awe inspiring, Cloud could only image what it would be like to stare into the eyes of a first. Of the general himself, Cloud nearly shivered at the thought.

Zack smiled and ruffled Cloud's hair, "Sounds like a plan Cloud… Thank you."

Cloud was a bit taken back by the sincerity in Zack's voice. Zack offered his hand to the boy, "We better head back before your mom pitches a fit. I'm sure my mom's wondering where I ran off to as well."

Cloud nodded and pulled himself to his feet tossing his shoes on. Soon they made their way to Cloud's house.

"That was DE-LISH-OUS! Miss Strife," Zack patted his stomach in thanks as he leaned back against his chair. The woman only giggled her thanks, "Thank you very much Zackary, and if you could…." She stood from the table and made her way to the kitchen brining back another plate with her.

"Oh Gaia Miss Strife, I couldn't fit another bite! I might explode," Zack gestured the effect of him blowing up with a big 'pa-poooow'. She only smiled and set it down, "For your mother silly."

"OH… Gotcha, Thank you Miss Strife! I know she'll gobble it up, probably quicker than me. That woman has a knack for eating… Don't get me wrong the woman's fit…"

Cloud shook his head at Zack's rambling and his mother 'shoo shed' him, "I understand what you meant to say."

Zack nodded looking out the window, "Wow when it gets so dark. I guess I should get going… I hate to run…Oh hey Cloud."

Cloud looked up at the boy and motioned for him to continue, Cloud couldn't speak with the food still in his mouth. If he did it probably would've been sent flying throughout the room.

"Why don't you hang out at my place tonight? I'll invite a few of my friends over and we can just chill."

Cloud looked to his mother who nodded eagerly with a smile, "You can go honey, and just don't forget to grab a spare change of clothes and your toothbrush."

Cloud rolled his eyes at his mother mumbling a response as he swallowed his last bite of food. Before long the boys were gathering Cloud's things before running around the town gathering a few of Zack's friends.

Now content with the small group Zack brought everyone back to his house. Cloud looked briefly around the group trying to remember all their names.

The girl on the left, her name must be Yuffie; Zack had said she had been adopted. She had short and straight black hair. She was just as short as Cloud was and had just as much energy as Zack. He remembered Zack saying she was a fun girl, and that he really enjoyed hanging out with her. But he did also mention that she could be quite a handful… and for Zack to say that she must be a nightmare at times. The boy next to her must have been Squall; the cocky one Zack had put it. He was a bit taller than Zack, and sported an odd scar across his face. Cloud made sure to remind him later to ask Zack just how he got that. The other boy, if he remembered was Vincent, he had hair just as black as Zack's but his eyes had an odd glow of red. The boy seemed to be pretty quiet and he reminded him of himself. He wondered if Zack could make him crack a smile to.

The five all made their way into the house and Zack's mother greeted them in teasing Zack at the same time.

"You go bounding off to make a friend and then you bring a whole swarm of them back with you. What am I to do with you Zackary?"

"Maaaaa," Zack whined at his mother using his full name. Miss Strife calling him by it didn't really bother him, but his mom in front of all his friends. Zack sighed handing his mother a plate, "Miss Strife asked me to send it over."

His mother scrunched her eyebrows together in thought before she gasped an 'Oh', "You mean the new neighbor?"

Zack laughed, "Oh, yea! I forgot! Mom this is Cloud, Cloud Strife."

Cloud almost as if on cue walked over to the woman extending a hand, "It's a pleasure to meet you Miss Fair."

She smiled warmly, "What a polite boy," she shook his hand in greeting before parting. "Zack you could learn a thing or two from this boy."

Zack nodded, "Yeah yeah, maybe. We'll be upstairs if you need us."

Zack lead the group up the stairs to his room. It was cozy and a decent size at that. Yuffie was the first one to talk Cloud's ear off. She bombarded him with question after question and Zack watched the poor boy's head spin. He peered over to Squall who was ranting on about the amazing things he did that day to Vincent. And Vincent stared blankly at the boy with his arms crossed, half-heartedly listening to the boy's words. Zack again smirked a bit. This was going to be one 'interesting night.' But what was really on Zack's mind was the promise Cloud had made Zack.

'We'll become SOLDIER's the both of us…' Zack smiled to himself. Zack knew Cloud and himself needed to prepare. They would need to put this plan into action, so by the time they were sixteen they could leave and join SOLDIER. Where to start Zack pondered, and his thoughts were immediately drawn to a conversation he had with his father when he was young. One of very few he remembered. His father had told him about the honor in dying by the sword, and the honor by living by the sword. It would require endurance, strength, and agility, Zack decided. And he couldn't wait to start training with Cloud.

"HEEEEELLLO," A pair of hands waved in front of Zack's face snapping him from his deep thoughts. Yuffie gave him a puzzled look, "Geez, thought you left us there space cadet!"

Zack grunted, "Yeah, whatever."

Cloud even mused himself over how Yuffie was now lecturing Zack about how rude it was to zone out in the middle of his own slumber party and leaving his guests to fend for themselves. Cloud couldn't help the smile that spread across his lips as he thought to himself, 'So this is my new home… It'll definitely be quite interesting…. "

END CHAPTER 1

Just getting started I'm really excited about this one! I thought about it on my way to work at….3:30 in the AM ha-ha… So… anyway REVIEW tell me what you think so far!


	2. Chapter 2

There will be a substantial time jump in this chapter! We are going directly from the last chapter into Cloud and Zack joining Shinra! Later on there may be flash backs of them training together and such we'll see! Please make sure to review, I won't know if I'm doing any good if I don't get feedback so please review with comments questions of ideas! Thank you!

Zack now seventeen pulled the covers slowly off his body and pulled himself very quietly from his bed. He was already in full dress as he moved quietly to pick up the bag he packed by the window. It was around midnight and he knew his mother wouldn't notice the teen slipping out from the home. Zack did this numerous times before. Zack smiled thinking back to how many times Cloud had snuck into his home as well. The boys had a strange relationship Zack mused as he grabbed his boots and slipped them on. They were there to push each other and become stronger; for themselves and SOLDIER. They often comforted each other as well, thus Cloud or Zack sneaking out to seek the other in the dead of night. Zack remembered that on more than one occasion Cloud had been so upset, and he wasn't exactly sure why; the boy still held some things back, that he lay with Zack and shook and sobbed. And he would try his best to comfort the boy and stroke his hair until he lulled him into a deep sleep. And though he hated to admit it there had been a couple occasions where Cloud had to do the same for him. They were mostly nightmares about his father; and nightmares of Cloud meeting the same fate. He remembered how painfully vivid one dream was. Watching Cloud in his camp next to a small fire in his cadet uniform slumber peacefully until shots were heard over head. He dreamt Cloud would fight tooth and nail just like he had while they were training, but soon there would be too many. And Zack was ripped from sleep with a cold sweat and tears as Cloud's body was riddled with bullets. Losing Cloud was almost as bad as losing his father, or at least that's what it felt like when he had those dreams. Some nights the dreams would be so devastating that he thought it might even be a heavier lost. The two spent every day together since Cloud moved into town, Zack thought it odd that he should care so much but would always dismiss it as caring very deeply for a very close friend.

Zack opened his window and welcomed the chill of the night. The soft breeze washed over his face and body as he began to climb out. He was careful to land with a soft thud and not make a sound to loud as to wake his mother up. Zack thought of how upset his mother would be; she was very much against the idea of him joining SOLDIER. He knew if he had told her he would be leaving that she would have undoubtedly sent the entire village to stop him. So he left a short note of reassurance telling her that he would be back after he realized his father's dream of becoming SOLDIER. There wasn't much else he had needed to say, he signed love your son, but he didn't get to sentimental. He wasn't very good at that, his mother knew it, and even though he knew she'd be upset he hoped that she would soon grow proud of her son; especially when he showed back up in Gongaga with a SOLDIER uniform. Zack grinned and whispered to himself, "When 'we' come back in SOLDIER uniforms."

Zack made his way quickly to his friend's house. He climbed the tree next to Cloud's window and stealthy made his way over to the window and opened it to let himself in. Before he could step in he was greeted by Cloud's glowing blue orbs staring back into his eyes. The boy was ready, fully dressed and a pack strapped to his arm. Zack nearly gasped; even after so much time had gone by he couldn't help but be taken back by Cloud's eyes. They made his heart want to stop every time; they were that beautiful. Zack at first thought it was wrong to think of his best friends eyes as beautiful and often scolded himself for thinking such a thing but he eventually gave up and determined that best friend or not the boy just had gorgeous eyes and there was nothing wrong with admiring them.

Cloud chuckled quietly and flicked Zack's nose, "You going to keep staring or are we going to get going?"

Zack smirked and snapped himself from his gaze using his index to rub the tip of his nose, "Can I do both?"

Cloud just shook his head raising a brow, "Come on." Cloud climbed out from the window and onto the nearby branch than swung down to the ground with a soft landing. Zack followed suit and they both looked back at their homes for a brief moment. They both silently promised to come back as SOLDIER; they promised that no matter what lay ahead of them they would make their town and families proud. And above all else, they would do it together, like they had promised.

The walk to their train was long; unfortunately for them there were no trains that ran into Gongaga. The only mode of transportation was a car and they both didn't have enough money to buy or even rent one. So they would take the next day and a half walking to the nearly rail station. The sun started to rise over the horizon, and Zack and Cloud pondered whether they had really already walked for five some odd hours. They left sometime after midnight so if the sun was rising it had to be going on five or six. Zack looked over to Cloud with the corner of his eye. Cloud walked keeping in pace with Zack's stride his eyes were closed as he walked and he tilted his face to greet the morning sun beginning to rise higher into the sky. He basked in the warm glow the sun was beginning to bring and Zack felt his heart skip at the sight. The warm glow of the sun splashed vibrant orange and yellow hues over the boy's delicate features. His pale blonde hair seemed to shine to a deep gold and sparkle with the rising sun. The light bounced off his lashes making them nearly glistened a powerful deep gold. Zack watched as the boy slowly opened his eyes to reveal his bright blue orbs with he saw glow just as bright as the sun only in a cool blue shade. It reminded Zack of the falls and the way the water would look when the same morning sun would stretch over the water's surface. His eyes splashed against the light like the pool of water under the falls and Zack found himself staring again. His staring never did go unnoticed for long as Cloud turned to face him with a puzzled look.

"Something wrong," Cloud asked.

Zack smiled and shook his head, "Oh… No, Nothing at all Cloudy boy. Why you ask?"

"One you zoned out again, and two… you were holding your breath," Cloud gestured over to Zack's chest which indeed hadn't taken in any air until Cloud had spoke.

The boy just shrugged at Zack's response and continued walking along side of him.

They walked seemingly forever until finally the sun began its slow decent. The boy's feet were sore and their throats were parched. Their stomachs growled and their eye lids sagged. Zack was the first one to drop his things as he rubbed his sore shoulders. Cloud smirked and teased Zack although in all honesty he had wanted to do the same thing for about an hour now, "Giving up already?"

Zack scrunched his brow and looked at Cloud as if he was insane and whined, "Jesus Cloudy we've walked like the whole freaking day without a break. And I'm hungry," He added with a pout.

Cloud chuckled at the boy and set his things down as well, "You put up the tent and I'll start a fire?"

Zack beamed, "Sounds good to me Cloudy boy!"

There were plenty of small branches around for Cloud to find scattered throughout the woods, and thankfully it hadn't rained so starting a fire would be no problem. He did wish however that he had a fire material, he couldn't help but smirk thinking what it would be like to use said magic. Cloud's ears perked as he heard a branch snap behind him. He peered behind him remaining silent to see what had made the sound. He knew that it couldn't have been Zack, that boy would be working on that tent long after Cloud started the fire and started cooking. Cloud smirked as he saw a wild boar scraping its foot against the ground. He didn't really want to eat the ramen noodles or crappy beans stuffed in his bag back at camp. If anything, wild boar sounded quite tempting as the beast flared it's nostrils with a huff. The dry dirt under the creature's nose turned up dust as it snorted again readying itself to take aim. He cautiously took out the dagger from his side pocket making sure to be subtle so as to not startle the beast. He couldn't help but lick his lips and smile; he couldn't wait to eat such a hearty meal.

Cloud came back with the boar hung loosely over his shoulder, thankfully the beast wasn't very heavy, and he was able to carry the boar and his branches with him. Zack whistled looking up from the jumbled mess that was supposed to be there tent.

"Wow Cloudy. I send you off for wood and you bring back that thing!"

Cloud scoffed, "You didn't send me anywhere, I was the one who directed you to put up the tent and…" Cloud trailed off realizing his arguing would be made fruitless. "Anyway, I'll have you cut this guy up while I fix what you started.

Zack looked up sheepishly from the mangled mess of cloth and poles, "Aw, I think I almost got the hang of it."

Cloud shook his head and set the boar down pressing the hilt of the dagger into Zack's hands as he shooed him away toward the beast. He began to sort through the pile Zack left and tried to reassemble the mess into a tent. He mused, if he hadn't known it was a tent he wouldn't have even guessed it. Zack had managed to make it look like someone pulled the curtains of the wall and took the rod along with it; leaving the pile to sit on the floor to blame the house hold dog later on.

'Well he is a puppy,' Cloud thought to himself with a small snicker.

Soon the tent was a tent once again and Zack had carved the meat off the boar and managed to start a fire. They roasted the meat over the fire after jabbing it onto the tips of their long sticks, and sat quietly as the flames licked the meat. Zack felt his eyes wander to Cloud again and he smiled thoughtfully, "We're finally going to do this Cloud."

Cloud stayed still and hadn't moved other than the small smile that broke onto his face, "What do you think… it'll be like…"

His voice was soft it held nervousness and excitement all at once and Zack couldn't help his voice from portraying the same emotions, "I don't know Cloudy…"

Zack stared at the fire in deep thought; the meat dangling over the flames seemed to fascinate him at the moment. Cloud on the other hand watched Zack in his peripheral view. Zack didn't notice when Cloud did this; which was opposite to Cloud who knew the second the boys eyes trailed on him. He watched the light of the flame dance against the boys' already sun-kissed skin and it made Zack look even more bronzed. Cloud, even in the Gongagan sun hadn't gained too much of a tan. His skin stayed fairly pale, healthier with sun, but still pale. He wasn't sure why but he felt comfort wash through him with the sight of the boy in front of him. He always had looked to Zack when he felt uncomfortable; Zack radiated a confidence that spread to anyone who so much as looked to him. And though Cloud couldn't sort through all the emotions he held when he was with the boy it hadn't really bothered him. He could care less about understanding why he felt so warm and safe around his elder friend; as long as he was near him. He depended on his friendship with the boy and he didn't sweat the small things. Didn't dwell on them either; there was just no need to. Things were fine as they were and Cloud couldn't bother himself with wondering about the fluttered feeling he got sometimes around the boy. They sat in mostly silence as they ate, both too exhausted from their travels. And soon after finishing their meals they turned in for the night. Both boys slept well with thoughts of Shinra and SOLDIER and the proud faces of their mothers welcoming them home.

END CHAPTER

Sooooooooooo whatcha think??? Next chap. We'll have some serious plot start rolling in The boy's finally make it to cadet training and meet the other boys they'll be training with! How will the boys handle being the new Cadets from a backwater town? Please review! I want to know what you guys think so far.. less reviews the more I think I'm doing a sh**ty job so please let me kno! Thank you for reading!!


	3. Chapter 3

Alright everyone Sorry it's taking me so long to put up Chapters! I just started me second jobbie this week so I just put in 32 hours in two days…o.O; soooooooo it's going to be a little hectic! I'll do my best to post ASAP

Please review and sorry for delays!

Cloud stirred in his sleep, his skin dampened by droplets of cold sweat. His eyebrows tensed and his eyes squeezed together tightly his lip nothing more than a thin line. The only time they parted is when a groan would leave his throat; quiet but still unsettling. Even though it was nearly a silent protest of his dream Zack heard it none the less and tensed in his fuzzy state of sleep and awareness. Zack didn't move he just listened; he wasn't sure if he should wake the boy just yet. But as soon as he heard the boy whimper he knew he needed to comfort his friend. Zack turned slowly to face Cloud; he still didn't want to wake the boy. They still had a long journey ahead of them before they made it to SOLDIER; or Shinra for that matter. Instead he instinctively reached his fingers to gently run through the hair right above Cloud's right ear using feather like touches. Gradually the boy's tense features began to slowly melt away; Zack knew that this would calm him it always had. When Cloud would come over in the dead of night; whether it is a thunderstorm, a nightmare, or just because he couldn't sleep, the boy would always lie next to him and drift off with the comfort of Zack stroking that one area of hair.

One particular night, Zack recalled, Cloud had come over in the pouring rain. Cloud climbed through Zack's window soaked to the bone. He didn't want to wake, or frighten for that matter, Zack's mother so he decided it wasn't best to take the door. Pulling himself through the window Zack had sat up sleepily in bed to look at his friend; if this hadn't occurred often he may have been shocked. Zack did frown however when he saw his friend shiver; his clothes were matted tightly against his body and his hair had even taken the liberty of falling from it's usually spikiness to fall over the boy's face. In the dim light Zack could only just barely make out the boy's shaking form. Without a word his began to pull himself off his bed and made his way to Cloud before reaching his hand up and ruffling the damp locks. Before Zack had a chance to pull his hand away Cloud had grabbed his wrist; Zack noted quite weakly. There was no glare, Cloud just stood there holding his wrist staring down at the floor. Zack's tired grin fell from his face as he heard a choked sob; under the dim light of the moon he searched Cloud's face. He could see what he thought before as rain drops falling around the boy's face to be a stream of tears and he cursed himself for not noticing this sooner. He pulled Cloud to him; he knew the boy would tense which he did, but soon after he began to stroke over his ear lightly with his finger tips the boy relaxed under his arms and began to shake. Zack ignored the boy's wet clothes against him even as his own pajamas became drenched. He felt a strange calm pulling the boy to him and as Cloud had stopped shaking and began to relax he realized he didn't want to let go of the shivering boy. He wanted to keep him safe and protect him; he wanted to keep him warm… With that last thought Zack mentally kicked himself. Here he was selfishly going over his desire to protect his friend and he was ignoring the fact that the poor boy was still in cold wet clothes! Zack hesitantly stepped back and smiled his words soft and slow to break the silence of the night, "Let's get you some new clothes, you look like a drowned chocobo Cloudy..." Cloud began what Zack thought to be a scowl but he simply retreated the gesture; Cloud must have known he looked a mess and therefore hadn't smacked Zack on the head and yelled at him for calling his a chocobo again. Even as Zack reached through his drawers for something to fit the younger boy he mused how funny it was when he was able to get a rise out of his friend. Without instruction Cloud had already began to strip from his wet clothes; of course leaving on his boxers until Zack had retrieved a pajama pants for him to slip into. When Zack turned to face the boy he fought his eyes from widening and forced himself to keep his breath at an even rhythm. Sure he had seen the boy in his swim trucks a few times but the way Cloud looked now was a grotesque beauty. Cloud's damp form had a shimmer to it against the moons pale light and every tone in his tiny frame stood out more because of the shadows cast of his body. Zack found it a little morbid that he could find such a damaged image of Cloud so remarkably breath taking; the boy had obviously been crying and he shivered his skin almost tinted a pale blue from the cold. His lips even more so the way they trembled together and the way Cloud's eyes remained half lidded…. Zack shook off his thoughts handing the clothes to Cloud before the boy turned around to get changed. Zack turned as well grabbing a fresh pair of clothes for him to put on as well.

Zack's reminiscing was cut short as a pair of clear blue eyes focused onto his own. They nearly made his heart flutter; he assumed out of surprise as the boy had taken him off guard. He watched Cloud intently as the boy's wide blue eyes scanned over him, his blanket pulled tightly to his chin with both of his balled fists. Zack smiled a bit worried at the boy's impression and softened as he felt Cloud reach his hand to his face and trail his fingers across his cheek and down his chin. Cloud kept his hand cupped around Zack's face before he pulled it back to his blanket.

"Nightmare again Cloudy…?"

Cloud nodded his head but didn't gesture for Zack to stop trailing his fingers dancing through his hair. If anything he leaned into the familiar comfort of Zack's stroke.

"Cloudy…What happened…"

Cloud flinched; Zack had felt it and it made him a bit more worry sum.

"Y-You….," Cloud's voice was strained as he forced the words from his dry throat, "…died… protecting… me, Zack."

Zack merely smiled to the young boy, "Don't worry Cloudy… I'm not going anywhere… And I'm sure as hell not going to die, at least until we make it too SOLDIER…" Zack realized he most likely should have worded that differently when Cloud tensed slightly again and all he could do was sigh. He gathered the boy in his arms and ruffled his hair, "Listen Cloud. We're going to make it into SOLDIER, and I will protect you… But I won't die, I promise."

Cloud slowly nodded against his friend's chest and found himself drifting back to sleep. Zack smiled as he felt the younger boy's breathing return to normal steady rhythm indicating that Zack had successfully lulled the boy to sleep again. Zack chuckled to himself; we sure are a strange pair Cloudy… It never ceased to amaze him how close of friends him and Cloud were. Perhaps even closer than friends normally were, but it just felt right to the both of them; and they weren't going to question why. Zack soon fell back into sleep smiling contently.


	4. Chapter 4

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Cloud and Zack had finally arrived; all they needed to do now was board the train to Midgar. Signing up had been easy enough, it seemed it didn't matter who you were, Shinra took in everyone and anyone they could get. At least that how Zack had looked at it. There were men short; tall; skinny; fat; bulky; rude; stammering; every type of appearance and personality you could imagine. Shinra accepted them all; this didn't comfort Zack and Cloud's nerves in the slightest. Zack had reasoned to Cloud that perhaps when they got to Midgar they would sort through the grunts to find those worthy of moving up and the others were just there to keep the cadets high in number. Quantity not Quality; Zack finished when explaining how Shinra must view the grunts, and it would be opposite for SOLDIER. Cloud had only nodded and forced a brief smile.

The train wasn't too stuffy; being in such a rural area there weren't too many people who had been recruited that day for Shinra. Zack didn't seem to pay mind to anyone in the train his thoughts were buzzing with excitement; Cloud however scanned over the area carefully watching all the other recruits. He was damned if he'd let his guard down around these strange people. Some men gave the two side way glanced and trailed their eyes over them. Zack again didn't notice, but Cloud was on the defensive. Cloud rested himself into the uncomfortable seat behind him and Zack just stood a few inches away; Cloud would have laughed at the boy had the surrounding not made him tense. Zack, much like a child cloud mused, refused to sit and couldn't even manage to keep himself to stand still. He kept fidgeting with his pockets and scuffing his boots against the ground; his eyes glancing each and every way, not looking at anything really, just glancing around. The other recruits seemed to have small groups already; others sat alone; and Zack and Cloud were left alone for the most part. There would be exchanged looks and stares; a couple of comments that Cloud couldn't catch over the train scrapping along the rails. He must have looked nervous; and he most certainly was. Zack picking up on this with a raised brow and a smirk reached out to ruffle the boy's hair. As he ruffled the boy's hair he saw Cloud nearly jump out of his skin; the boy was so intent on focusing on everything around him he didn't bother to pay attention to Zack and the other had caught him off guard.

"Z-Zack," Cloud nearly shouted and sunk into his chair with a slight blush as all eyes focused on him min the train.

Zack just snickered, "Aww, Come on Cloudy boy, don't be nervous! We'll be in Midgar in no time." Zack said this even though the suspense of getting there was killing him all the same.

Cloud muttered a few choice words under his breath and crossed his arms tightly in front of his chest. Zack couldn't help but smile at the childish gesture; Cloud really was too cute. Zack raised a brow at his own thought but shrugged it off; '_cute like a kid kind of cute'_ Zack corrected himself mentally.

An hour had past and finally Zack's pacing in place stopped as he plopped down on the seat next to Cloud with an aggravated sigh. The train would take a couple of hours to get to Midgar; he knew that but still.

"This is maddening!" Cloud raised his chin off his chest slightly tilting his head back up. He raised his brow in question his eyes half lidded from dozing off. Zack flung his arms behind his head and slouched in his seat as he whined, "I'm so boooored!" Cloud only shook his head a bit and chuckled. When he saw Zack twitch and tense his brows creased and he followed Zack's eyes to the figure looming over them. Zack let out a cheeky grin, still a bit tense but not allowing the elder man to see it, "What can we do for you buddy?"

Cloud nearly gulped; this man was massive. Cloud noticed him before with a group of others but he had been sitting at the time. And now, Cloud could really see just how large the man was. He was aged a few years older than the two boys, and he easily towered over Cloud. Being almost five or six inches taller than Zack was a feat in Cloud's eyes; Zack was nearly six foot already and this man easily was six and a half. His shoulders were broad and his shirt pulled tight against his overly defined chest. Cloud could just imagine Zack making fun of the man's 'boobs' as Zack would say and prayed that he wouldn't be as stupid to do so in this situation. His statue was bigger than both Zack and Cloud combined; muscle, height, and Cloud guessed strength as well. Cloud took in a deep breath as quietly as possible; he would be lying if he said he wasn't scared of what the man before them wanted.

The man's voice was raspy and low as his narrow eyes gestured to Cloud, "Good lookin' kid, he anything to you?"

Cloud's eyes blinked a few thousand times; or at least he felt like they did. 'Good looking kid?' Cloud repeated the words a few times in his mind and gulped softly as he brought his eyes to cautiously to Zack who looked like taken back by the man's odd question. Zack face scrunched a bit, "Excuse me?"

The man chuckled; it sounded unnatural against the man's deep and rasped voice. The man's large calloused hand reached out to Cloud's neck and he ran the back of his fingers against the soft skin; Cloud bolted backwards away from the man's intruding touch ignoring the grunt that left his lips as he hit the back of his seat rather roughly.

The man smirked wickedly, "A shy one, aren't we…"

As the man went to reach out to caress Cloud's skin he felt a tight grip catch his wrist; his eyes narrowed as he glanced at Zack's own narrow slit eyes. Acid dripped from Zack's tongue, "Don't touch him…"

The man grin widened, "Jealous? I didn't see you trying anything, what does it matter to you?" The man's words chimed in the air making Zack tense. 'What the fuck is this guy's problem,' Zack mentally screamed.

Cloud's eyes darted between both men and he felt a shiver run down his spine as Zack's words pierced through the thick air once more; the tone of his voice threatening.

"Don't. Touch him."

Cloud held his breath as the short threat left Zack's lips. The promise of death lingering behind his words; it was frightening how effective Zack's tone of voice was at making the air around them freeze sending shivers down Cloud's body. He never heard such a threatening tone from Zack before, and he prayed he would never have to hear another one like it ever again.

The large man's grin only lowered slightly as amusement played in his dark eyes as he tugged his wrist out of Zack's grip. He glanced over to Cloud's direction and his next words made Cloud feel the goose bumps rise on his skin, "Maybe we'll meet again in the barracks, when your boyfriends not around… Than we can play beautiful…" Zack resisted the urge to kill the man as he turned heel and strode away from the two to seat himself on the opposite side of the train. Zack balled his fists at his side and hardly noticed the blood tickling from underneath his nails.

"Zack…," Cloud's voice called to him softly as his eyes watched Zack's white knuckles and now crimson palms in worry.

Zack took in a shaky breath before turning to face Cloud with a goofy grin bring his hand to the back of his head scratching it lightly; he tried desperately to act cool.

"The nerve of some people right," Zack stated rather than really asking as he took his seat next to Cloud once more. Zack shoved his hands into his pockets and stared up towards the ceiling of the train, "Don't worry bout' that guy Cloud. He's not going to give you any more trouble." Cloud noted the protective and determined tone that swept over Zack's voice and just nodded with a small uneasy smile.

Zack remained glaring at the train's ceiling. _'Jealousy…? No, it wasn't jealousy, I just… I didn't… Cloud didn't want that man to touch him… And he had no right to… I was just protecting him like I promised I would.'_ Zack shifted a little uncomfortably, _'So…Why did I get so… angry… I've never really felt like that before. My chest hurt it tightened so much and I could feel the blood boiling in my veins. Was that jealousy?'_ Zack scolded himself, _'No you idiot he made Cloud uncomfortable, and I didn't… No… Cloud didn't want that man to touch him, I was only looking for our… Cloud's best interests…'_

*Ding* the train will be arriving at Midgar station platform shortly; wait until the train comes to a complete stop before exiting the train. Thank you. *Ding*

Zack pushed his thoughts aside and smiled over to Cloud before nudging Cloud's arm, "We're finally here buddy!"

Cloud smiled weakly back; he knew Zack would keep his promise but what would happen if they were separated… He tried not to dwell on it. They would prove themselves and soon realize their dreams; nothing would take that away from them. Cloud smiled and lifted his arm up as Zack mimicked his gesture and they bumped together their forearms, "…SOLDIER…"

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Ok guys I really wanted to write more… But I ran out of time! I need to get to work… Sorry updates are so slow……. I'm working 60 hours a week between me two jobbies so writing these is becoming difficult since I usually do them in one sitting and I keep coming up with more ideas for stories……. I do apologize for making it short I really wanted to write more! But I got about 15 minutes to mosey on out of here… Please Review I promise I'll try to update soon And I'll try to make it a long chapter…… sorry again guys!!


	5. Chapter 5

"You worthless scum! Quit dragging your feet! Honesty, take a look at yourselves! You're nothing but maggots; you're ticks! You're the lowest form of life in the universe! Listen up you dung beetles, I take extreme pleasure in watching your faces as you suffer!"

The drill sergent yelled at the squadron of army grunts; his face was red and every vein in the man's neck and face looked as though it would burst. Cloud quietly prayed that the enlarged vein buldging from the man's neck would pop and the bastard of a drill sergent would fall face first into the cold wet mud on the ground. It was pouring rain and the grunts were told to run; they weren't told however how long to run... Cloud guessed that meant they had to run until every last one of them either fainted or died; whatever came first. Cloud mused that even Zack who kept pace with him the entire time was about to collasp. Not that Cloud wasn't close to eating mud; he actually almost did a few times as he slipped on the mud a few times and almost lost his footing a few others. Cloud and Zack both felt each breath desperately pulling in as much air as possible to deliver the much needed oxygen to their muscles. Each breath came quick short and painful. The rasping sound echoed in their ears along side the steady squishing sound of the feet trotting on the mud below them.

"Don't you think it's disgraceful panting like old people fucking! If you've got the balls I dare you to jerk off; right here; right now, you gonerrea and siffius-ridden ladies!"

Cloud's face twisted even more; but this time in disguist. The way this man spoke was just, well, disguisting. Who the fuck thought of things like that! Cloud knew Zack shared the same thought; although he took it a little differently. Zack found himself wanting to laugh at the sergents ranting; he attempted to a few times but it just came out dry in his throat as gasps of air and weird weezing sounds. Cloud would've commented but he had to concentrate all his being into taking in enough air to even keep him moving. Alot of the other grunts were starting to fall behind; one unlucky grunt found himself face first in the mud. Cloud winced as he saw the scene unfold as the sergent marched over the the army grunt and spit in front of the poor man's face. The sergents boots not more than an inch in front of the man's face' the man pushed himself up but only found himself on his ass as he slipped in the mud. Cloud shook his head; the poor man looked pitiful. No doubt he was past his breaking point. The man had tears streaking down his face practically cutting through the mud caked on his cheeks. Cloud and Zack both knew he was crying out of frustration and because of the pain that throbbed against the man's muscles; they both felt that too but they refused to give up. They couldn't just stop; how the hell were they ever to make it to SOLDIER if they couldn't pass a simple endurance test. Cloud and Zack were both snapped from there thoughts as the sergent took his venomous aim to the grunts ears.

"I guess thats as far as your determination goes! So you can't run anymore, huh?! You going to go home to your girlfriend and cry?! No doubt she's probably a hopeless tramp!"

"Don't you dare speak about her," the exasperated grunt screamed.

The grunt suddenly felt the anger build throughout his tired bones and aching muscles and lundged himself at the sergent; who easily tripped the man as he dodged the foolish grunts assault.

"I'll take whatever I want about her! She's a tramp!! And if you're going to tell me otherwise than show me your guts!! Do ten more laps!!"

The grunt cursed under his breath and mumbled a 'yes sir', the flustered and embarssed flush on his face was almost too unbareable to watch as he trotted back into formation.

"Alright ladies! It's been thirty two hours since your last meal! Those of you who finish the last ten laps can eat!"

Cloud looked over to Zack as did Zack to Cloud; with a short nod to eachother they burst out into a mad dash against their lungs and muscles will. Every muscle and bone prayed for them to stop; but the need for food over powered their pain; they needed food and they were damn sure going to be the first ones to get it.

In the mess hall they managed to make it first in line; which meant they got to get first pick on the food. Which in turn meant; there would actually still be food there and they wouldn't have to go without a meal unlike the slowest of the grunts. By the time the last few strode in they were lucky to even get a bite of bread.

Cloud normally would've offered to share; as would Zack. But after thirty two hours and no meal that was like offering their own limbs! They didn't know when their next meal would be, and they damn sure weren't going to find out on an empty stomach. Cloud; even though he too was inhaling all of the food on the tray before him; couldn't help but chuckle as Zack shoved bite after bite of food in his awaiting mouth barely giving himself a chance to swallow it. Zack only shot him a mini-glare and a half cocked smirk as he continued his assault on the tray before him.

"Five more minutes you panisies and it's back to the obsticle course! If you're late you recieve no chow; and I will personally ram you're pretty asses into the ground," Cloud tensed at the sergents tone. And Zack couldn't help but laugh quietly under his breath as he gently punched Cloud's shoulder, "Don't worry, he won't 'ram' your ass. I won't let him."

Cloud only flushed his lips going tight as he closed his eyes and nudged the man for his ridicuilous humor.

Three minutes later Zack and Cloud reported outside; a few others also decided it wise to report to the course immediately as well. They quickly took their places in formation and awaited for the 'go' from their sergent. Cloud looked over the course and bit his lip to hide his whimper; Zack, instead, was barely hiding his whining as his eyes also trailed over the course. The beginning of the course was a rope ladder that seemed to reach to the sky; it might have been their minds playing tricks on them but the damn thing looked like it was a 4 story building! On top of that they had to repel down a rope using a hand crank; apparently they felt you should be the one to help yourself down instead of gravity doing the work for you. Once to the ground you had to crawl through the mud on your belly under a thick assortment of barbed wire. The metal twisted and weaved the sharp edges almost gleaming from the rain. Cloud than scoffed as he went this part over in his mind. 'Sorry Miss. Strife but your son was grated like cheese through the barb wire of our obsticle course!' After the barbed wire there was a stretch of track they would have to run; the catch, it was a dead weight run. Cloud only could imagine that the bags that awaited them at the start of the run weighed at least 100 to 150 lbs. easily. And running them from start to finished; which looked like a good quater mile wasn't going to be so easy.

"START!"

The boys; along with the rest of the grunts; groaned as they forced their bodies to move forward. All the while the sergent continued his assault in the background. Each word made Cloud's frown grow deeper and deeper. And let Zack's mind wander more and more; honestly he was going to have to find out who came up with this shit! It was pure gold!

As they carried themselves up the rope ladder the sergent began his verbal assault, "Right now you pukes are less than human! You're nameless slaves! Once you survive my training, Than and only Than, will you become a weapon!"

Cloud gripped the handles to the repeling device and cranked the levers in a bicycle petaling motion. The blisters felt like they were ripping under his weight as he petaled his way down. His arms grew tired and it took all he had just to keep his grip on the damn thing; and looking over to Zack who was only a few feet ahead of him, he knew Zack was struggling just as bad as he was.

"But until then you're nothing but a bunch of cock suckers! I depise and look down upon you!"

Finally reaching the bottom Cloud and Zack practically fell forward onto their stomachs; this enough to expel a large gasp to rush out from Cloud's lungs. Zack only grunted as they both kept low and pushed themselves forward crawling under the barbed twisted metal.

"My job is to find the limp dicks amoung you and weed them out! I won't have any stinking assholes on our squad keeping us from victory! Remember that!!"

As they both reached the dead weight run they all but dragged the sac's; they certainly had to weigh more than a 150 lbs. Or at least that's what they oxygen deprived muscles screamed into their aching minds. All the while dragging the two oversized bags they tried to block out the man's yelling.

"There will be no crying or laughing! You are not human beings; you are killing machines!!"

Ironically there were little tears left for most of the grunts to cry; instead some of them were beginning to drop. Others began to power through the dead run. Cloud and Zack along with four other grunts finished the dead weight run and were waiting for the rest of the squad to finish.

The sergents face twisted in disguist as he watched a few grunts fall and stumble, "You loser scum!! The best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a shit stain on the mattress!!"

His attention soon flipped to the few grunts still trying to make it to the dead run only managing to slip and stumble. A few slowed their pace and dragged their feet; this didn't sit well with the sergent.

"Quit dragging your feet you queers! One whimper and I will unscrew your heads and shit down you necks!!"

After the obstacle all the men were rushed into the building to collect their assigned rifles. They were than all sent to a room to 'get aquinated' as the sergent put it; with their new weapons. This probably ended up being the most tramatizing part of the day for Cloud. His entire face went red as the sergent's words rang through his ears.

"This rifle is your only girlfriend! You don't need a mary jane rotten crotch with a large back side! Think of your rifle as a wet pussy and fuck it as hard as you can!"

Zack playfully quirked his eyebrows at Cloud when the sergent wasn't looking and Cloud wanted to sink even lower in his chair. What the fuck is wrong with some people, seriously!?

After the sergent dismissed them for the day Cloud and Zack made their way to thier barracks. Luckly they were assigned to the same bunk beds. Zack of course took top bunk claiming; I'm always on top, with a quick wink. Cloud only shook his head and grabbed his towel, spare clothes and some soap. Zack mimicked him as they both dragged themselves into the showers. They were open showers so there was no privacy. Cloud cringed at this; he was always shy but it's not like he had much of a choice. He was covered in mud and sweat; as were the rest of the boys and he was damned if he was going to wear that layer of dirt and grime any longer.

Cloud stepped into the showers with Zack trailing behind him. They still had towels around their waists; quite a few men didn't bother to cover up at all and Cloud decided he was better off staring up to the ceiling as he walked. He gave himself enough room to glance as to where he was stepping but still kept his eyes expertly diverted away from the seemingly endless school of male 'parts'. Cloud would've be shocked to see the 'outgoing and openly perverted' Zack actually staring down at Cloud's feet doing his best to copy Cloud's expert eyes to avoid his own coming in contact with any of the other boys.

Finally reaching a pair of free shower heads both boys reluctently hung up their towels. Zack smirked as he saw Cloud's stern face turn a cute shade of pink. Zack blinked at his thoughts, cute? Did he just think Cloud's blush was cute? Zack hook it off with a whatever to himself dismissing it again as nothing more than 'friendly' affection. Cloud only shot him a questioning glare; the best he could muster over his blushing features. Zack only scratched at the back of his dirty hair closing his eyes and chuckled nervously, "Oh, nothing. Nothing... just thinking."

Cloud raised a brow at this and bit his lip as his eyes wandered. Sure Cloud had saw Zack in swim trunks before; they used to swim at their secret meeting place. But this was quite different. The mud swirled down his body as the water began to push it away revealing his sun kissed glowing skin. He knew Zack didn't notice because he was still sheepishly rubbing the back of his head; but that didn't stop his blush from covering his face with avengence. His eyes flowed the dripping swirls of water and mud down Zack's toned torso and down to his slim waist; his eyes shot up with a small squeak from the boy as he quickly jolted his body forward and replaced the image of Zack's body with the tiled wall in front of him. He could feel his entire face burning bright red; why did he have to look?!

Zack only shrugged and turned towards the shower head allowing the water to run freely over his face. The hot water felt good against his tired muscles; it almost relaxed him. Almost... But as soon as his head moved from the spray of the water his eyes darted to the boy standing next to him. In the corner of his eye he watched as Cloud stood back to the spray of water allowing it to soak into his back. The water bounced off the small pale frame and Zack watched as Cloud's hand reached up to rub at the knots in his shoulders and neck. He wasn't sure why the action provoked him to want to rub the knots out for Cloud; he just knew he wanted to. His body was tossing around the order; well so was his mind he mused. But he just shrugged it off. Soon his own curiousity got the best of him as he looked futher down. He followed the small curve that formed towards Cloud's lower back; and he had to bite his lip as his eyes reached the boy's butt. He had the childish urge to slap him on the ass but decided against it._ Hell have no fury like a chocobo scorned_, Zack smiled.

Cloud's own eyes trailed over Zack's form just the same as Zack's was doing with his delicate frame; both pairs of eyes going unnoticed by the other. That is... until they started trailing their eyes up each others chests; and their eyes darted to each other. They both stared; embarssed at being caught; and confused as to why the other had been... well... staring. They both broke the gaze after a few awkward seconds and snapped back into focus at the task at hand. Showering. Cloud, his blush ever present on his glowing features, scrubbed feverishly at his dirt skin bar of soap in hand. While Zack; also sporting a tint of pink over his cheeks, whistled nerviously as he began to scrub at his hair.

They didn't bring it up as they walked back to the barracks. It was actually a awkward walk for the two of them. Neither spoke; their eyes glancing over every so often but that was all. Finally settling into their bunks they allowed their exhaughstion to take over thier body's and minds and fell into a deep sleep. All the while pondering just why the other was staring at them with that... look....

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Hehe so! I took the line's for the sergent from Full Metal Panic... I couldn't help myself! That episode was really hilarious so I wanted to use it! Anyways....... Gomen again for taking so long to post! I keep coming up with more and more stories and on top of working insane hours I haven't had too much time to write so I do apologize! I will try my hardest to update at least once every one or two weeks... depending on me hours! Thank you all so much for reading and again Sorry for keeping you guys waiting............ PLEASE REVIEW!! You're reviews give me much needed inspiration! So leave reviews... purty pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaase! = )


	6. Chapter 6

Zack let out a exaggerated moan and whined, "Are they _trying _to kill us!"

Cloud shook his head at his friends antics, "You complain to much. The training will pay off."

Zack's jaw seemed to drop, "Are you kidding Cloudy! At this rate they'll melt our bones into liquid goo and we'll never make it to SOLDIER. My arms and legs feel like jello!"

Zack proceeded to explain further by 'demonstration' as he flailed his arms about, "How am I supposed to hold a sword with these?"

Cloud snorted; he didn't want to admit it even though Zack already knew. The boys were both exhaugsted. Training was taking a toll on their bodies; they were sore and tired; completely and utterly spent. Their ego's on the other hand hadn't taken as much of a beating. They were both ranked top in their unit. Zack was a natural at physical training and Cloud was an expert at strategy; all and all the brains of the two. They both shared their knowledge; together they rose quickly. Zack of course became more so noticed for his charm and physical ability; but Cloud didn't fall to far behind. Cloud may have not been the charmer that Zack was but he was just as deadly physically as he was mentally. Zack taught him what he lacked in strength was made up by a quick mind and even quicker feet.

"Zack," Cloud turned the conversation to a more serious tone.

"What is it Cloudy boy," Zack settled his hands behind his head as he walked.

Cloud looked over at him through the corner of his eyes briefly before focusing them back forward, "Placement exams are on monday..."

Zack tilted his head a bit confused, "Yeah....," he waited for Cloud to continue.

"What if...," Cloud grimaced as his eyes trailed to his feet.

Zack raised his brow and stopped; Cloud stopped almost instantly as Zack had.

"Cloud, what are you getting at buddy?"

"What if we don't make the same rank..."

Zack chuckled; Cloud's brows pinched together and his lips pressed into a fine line, "Whats so funny?"

Zack roped his arm around Cloud's shoulder and pulled his friend close, which in turn made Cloud blush but Zack ignored it; Cloud always blushed.

"If you rank lower than me I'll obviously have to help you catch up. Come on Cloudy, you really think I'll let you fall behind?"

Cloud's brow twitched, "Who said I would be the one that wouldn't make rank?"

Zack sheepishly grinned and whistled to the ceiling; Cloud 'replied' with a playful shove. Cloud all but squeaked when Zack's arm; instead of leaving his neck; wrapped firmer around it so the other boy could ruffle the blonde's hair. Cloud squirmed his way from the others grip and sighed as he tried to fix his chaotic hair. Zack could only offer another chuckle at the blonde's fruitless attempts at getting his hair 'under control'.

"Come on Cloudy; any more delay and we'll never get a chance to use the training room!"

Cloud only scoffed as he continued his march down the hall; Zack shuffled taking long strides catching up and quickly meeting Cloud's pace.

Once in the training room; Cloud the first to walk through the doors; threw Zack a practice sword from off the wall, his already in hand. Thankfully there weren't too many grunts that cared to train after training; so the two boys had plenty of room to sparr. A few grunts actually cleared an area on the mat and made there way to the benches. Cloud and Zack came here often and had really begun gathering quite a crowd; Zack smiled his cheesy grin at the audience while Cloud just ignored them. It wasn't that Cloud didn't 'like' them; it just made him very uncomfortable having all eyes on him while he was trying to train. You wouldn't know it though; it never did seem to affect his performance what so ever.

Cloud took his place on the mat and stood fast; sword lax at his side as he waited for his friend to take his position. Zack paced to his place on the mat directly across from Cloud only a few feet away; he walked with one hand on his hip and his other hand holding the hilt of the sword. He tapped the sword over his shoulder grinning as he took position, "Ready?"

With a affirmative nod from Cloud the two readied their swords. Cloud was next to speak, "Begin..." Directly on cue as soon as the word left Cloud mouth the two lundged forward. Their swords sounded as they connected. Because Cloud's was shorter many of the grunts had assumed that he would be on the defensive; with the larger man swinging his sword upon him he would have no choice but defend in a low stance; at least that's what they had thought the first time they had seen the two sparr. Both friends grinned as they pushed eachother back on their swords; Cloud sprung forward in the air as he thrust his sword down. Zack narrowly dodged the sword as he rolled to his left; swiftly in the same motion he swung on his hands to swing his leg around to catch Cloud's feet as he landed. Cloud instinctively leaned back performing a back hand spring to avoid Zack's attempt. Zack pushed himself up and forward to take a swing at Cloud however Cloud dodged yet again as he went into another back hand spring; in the same motion as his body began to swing back he kicked his leg up trying to connect his foot to Zack's face. Zack a bit surprized barely dodged the foot as he quickly jumped back.

Zack didn't Cloud a chance to stand as he thrust his sword at Cloud's right side; Cloud blocked the sword with his own his arms twisted over his head to do so. Cloud forced Zack's sword along his own; he drew the sword over to his opposite side and as it hit the ground Zack all but stumbled. Cloud smirked thinking he had caught the upper hand; but he should have known better than to get cocky. The minute he tried to bring the butt of the hilt to Zack's stomach Zack dug the tip of his own sword into the mat as he pushed his body up and over; he skillfully avoided Cloud and landed on the opposite side of him. Immediately after landing he twisted his body behind Cloud and pulled the practice sword to his throat. Cloud pulled his sword up in time to block Zack from pressing the dull sword against his throat. Cloud had to fight back a blush as he felt Zack pressed up against him; sure when they sparred they would often get uncomfortably close; the problem was Cloud found that it wasn't uncomfortable at all; it was the exact opposite and that scared him a little. But now wasn't the time for that; not when he was so close to losing their match. He was being careless; and thinking about such things was even more careless.

Cloud brought his elbow back into Zack's stomach-not to roughly but enough to recieve a loud 'ooumff' from the other-pushing the blade forward to release himself. Cloud took a few steps forward before turning around and smirked at his friend, "And I thought I was being careless..."

"Geeez Cloudy! You really have to elbow me in my stomach," Zack whined; not because it hurt; he just wanted to get a sympathic reaction out of the small blonde. Zack mused that it rarely ever worked and this time would be no different. But that never stopped the boy's persistant attempts, "Awww, Cloudy. You could at least say something," he drawed out the last word in a whiny tone. Cloud only rolled his eyes with a small smirk still present on his lips, ".....Something.."

Zack only pouted; which wasn't too convincing considering throughout all his whining and pouting he had an impossibly wide smirk across his face.

The two continued to sparr for another hour or so. Both were overheated and sweaty; each breath came in a heave against their burning muscles. Cloud finally straightened his back up; he cleared his throat and took in a deep breath waving off Zack to stop their training match, "Alright I'm calling it."

Zack raised a brow chuckling as he took the same labored breaths, "Ah... Are we afraid of little ole' me?"

Cloud crossed his arms over his rapidly rising chest shaking his head as he spoke sarcastically,"....petrified."

Cloud turned heel and stepped off the mat walking over to hang his practice sword up on the wall, "I'm hitting the showers."

Zack nodded as he took stance to begin his infamous squats, "I'm going to train a little longer."

Cloud nodded thankful that Zack wouldn't be joining him; it would make things easier on them both this way. Cloud, though now used to taking showers along side Zack, still had to repress blushes, impulses and wandering eyes that no friend should have issues with. Why did he look at Zack so differently; he worried the other boy may have picked up on that but so far Zack hadn't given him any indication of it. Cloud took one last glance of Zack as he performed his endless squats; _He's adorable like a little puppy... always has been._ Cloud failed to notice the pair of hungry eyes follow his form as he slipped past the door into the locker room.

Cloud sighed as he peeled the sweat matted shirt off his back and tossed it to the bench. He paused for a moment to rub the knotted muscles in his shoulder. Tilting his head to the side he hummed contently as he released some of the knotted pressure. He stripped himself of the rest of his clothes and quickly wrapped a towel around his waist; no amount of public showers could shake his shy nature. He neatly folded his clothes and stuffed them into his assigned locker. He pulled out a bar of soap and a bottle of shampoo; thankfully Shinra allowed the grunts their own toiletries so Cloud was allowed to buy himself a decent shampoo.

He stepped into the far corner of the showers taking a brief look around before hanging up his towel. Not a soul other than himself was in the showers; the rest of the grunts had taken their showers immediately following training than quickly retreated to their respective bunks. So it wasn't much of a surprize to Cloud that no one was around. This was his ideal time to take showers; thus another reason for Zack and Cloud to perform training after training.

Cloud turned the nozzle of the shower as it began to blast cold water. Cloud frowned letting out an aggravated sigh as he stepped aside allowing the water to warm up; every once in a while the water would come out like ice and he would have to wait for the water to 'decided' to heat up. After a few minutes Cloud was finally able to step into the water. He instantly brought his face up to allow the water to wash over his worn features. He tilted his hand down only slightly to allow the water to wash through his unruly hair as his hands moved up to run through the blonde strands. It was some much needed time alone to relax; the barracks didn't allow for it. Cloud chuckled,_ The life of a grunt doesn't allow for any privacy... _

Cloud's face scrunched together; hot steady puffs of air brushed against the back of his neck making his hair stand on end. _Not air... breaths... _

Before Cloud could react he felt large hands dig painfully into his shoulders as he was twisted around in the grip. Cloud winced his eyes shutting as he was thrust into the wall behind him. He drew in a breath as narrow slitted eyes opened to focus on his attacker. His breath caught in his throat as he stared at the familar large man, "The man from the train..."

The man only smirked wickedly before slamming his lips over Cloud's; Cloud's eyes grew impossibly wide. Cloud's lips were pinned against the other mans; they were painfully pushed against his own teeth. They throbbed in pain but he didn't let that bother him; he quickly composed himself and opened his mouth to allow the man entrance. The man eagerly complied, something Cloud was counting on, he bit down on the invader's tongue making the man peel back from his lips with a yelp. Cloud would've laughed at seeing such a large man yelp like a small pup; but considering the situation he wasn't about to.

"Why you little...! It doesn't matter no one will help you!"

Cloud felt brave, he inwardly snickered, _'bravery is found only in a knight's heart...',"_ I'll make a big enough ruckus..."

The man only snickered, "A bit hopeful aren't we? I'll have to fix that...."

Cloud felt the air leave his lungs as the man thrust his fist into his stomach. Cloud couldn't help but remember musing over the man's large size and stature on the train; he was right the man was far stronger, sluggish, but stronger. Cloud had taken plenty of blows from Zack during training but nothing compared to the pain he felt at that moment. The punch to his gut was hard enough to send his naked form to fall onto the floor heaving and coughing; lungs desperately searching to replenish the stolen air. In a flash he found himself pinned against the ground. The man's hand was clasped tightely around Cloud's throat. "C-Care..les..s..," Cloud choked out. The man's brow twitched. Cloud curled his back towards him far enough to kick his foot into the man's chest; If he hadn't been so large he would've most likely been sent flying across the room however Cloud's kick only efficiently sent the man sprawling to his ass. Cloud -ignoring the white framing his vision forced himself to his feet- he stumbled forward trying to sprint to the door; he didn't get far as the large man's long meaty fingers painfully clasped themselves around Cloud's ankle. Cloud fell forward not prepared to catch himself; any other time taking on such a brute would be only a moderate challenge but he was tired and weakened; he fell with a large crack. His eyes floated around behind his lids; his mouth slightly parted. His eyes opened half lidded and his eyes continued to search but he couldn't seem to have anything register. He saw the man walking towards him as his vision waved to the man and than the floor than the ceiling; he was momentarily completely incoherant.

His face squeezed together as his shaky hands wrapped themselves in the thick mass of his hair. His eyes suddenly shot wide open as everything hit him all at once. The pain throbbed in his head and seemed to echo throughout his body. He instinctively curled in on himself and let out a blood curtling howl of pain. The large man ignored him as he quickly silenced the young beauty with his large calloused hand which he thrust rather roughly over the boys mouth. Cloud felt tears spring ot his eyes as he felt the pressure of the tiled floor pushing against his already pounding skull. The man allowed his free hand to roam over the young man's body. Cloud's vision was fading fast between bright white and black flashes; the world seemed to be crumbling in on top of him. He couldn't move his limbs; nor could he command his body to fight off the man. Fresh tears sprung from his eyes as he lied their helplessly praying for the darkness to take him.

------------------------

Zack secretly watched Cloud disappear behind the locker room door out of the corner of his vision. Something about Cloud made his heart flutter; _Why am I disappointed that he went ahead of me..._ Zack scoffed at himself as he whispered to himself, "You're just upset he didn't want to do squats..."

Zack quirked a brow as a large man made his way towards the locker room. He watched the man disappear behind the door and squinted his eyes. _Man that guy looked familiar... I just can't place his face... Where did I see him before.... ?_

Zack continued on with his squats. Almost ten or fifteen minutes later it hit him, "That man was on the train..." Zack felt anger rise in his chest and that odd emotion swirl painfully in his chest. He turned to heel towards the locker room door; he didn't get to take even one step before he heard someone scream. _No, not someone... Cloud!! _

Zack's heart raced in his chest as he ripped his feet from the mat to run as fast as he could to the locker room. Zack flung the door open and ran towards the showers only to have his heart stop in his chest; his breath lost from the shock of the sight before him. Cloud layed on the floor a large puddle of blood surrounding his scalp; blonde locks stained in the crimsom substance. His blue eyes looked like they rolled into the back of his head; the boys lips barely parted. He looked impossibly pale; his lips were even blue; he looked like a corpse. Zack felt his heart race again as he saw the brute holding down Cloud by his friends throat; his hands now rushing to work at his pants unaware of Zack's presence. He was to lost in the limp boy beneath him. Zack's anger flared in him as he rushed forward; the man ontop of Cloud looked up in shock as he saw Zack's charge. Before the man could react he felt a solid fist connect to his jaw sending him a few feet back from Cloud's naked form. Zack felt the blood in his veins rapidly pump throughout his body; the anger and rise in emotion giving him a boost of strength. He stalked over to the man before yanking him up by the collar and slammed another fist into the man's face. This punch however directly connected to the man's nose; Zack heard it snap and saw the blood spray over his knuckles but it didn't stop him. He pulled the man up to his feet and rushed forward slamming the large man into the wall; Zack would've been amazed that he could lug the near seven foot beast in the air but he was blinded by his rage.

"I told you... not to touch him," Zack growled his words more venomous than ever before. He spat his words at the man like a cobra would it's own venom, "I swear to Shiva I will tear you limb from limb!"

The man only snickered spitting out the blood forming in his mouth, "We were only playing... I think he was rather enjoying himself.."

Zack's face twisted, "You sick fuck..."

Zack threw the man to the ground and quickly allowed his boot to connect to the man's skull knocking the bastard unconsise. Zack spit on him before quickly rushing over to Cloud. His anger subsiding quickly as it shifted to fear and concern. He checked over Cloud's form; other than the open cut - which thankfully wasn't to big- Cloud seemed to have suffered a concussion. Zack gently pushed the clumped blond hairs out of Cloud's face, "Cloud wake up. You have to stay up..."

Cloud groaned his eyes rolling back and forth fighting for consiseness. "Cloud come on, thats it. Please say something... It's ok.. I'm right here... I need to you stay awake for me.. Cloud say something..."

Zack's words began to spill in the form of pleading as he urged the blonde to speak. Cloud's eyes shut as they desperately searched behind the closed lids; his tongue clapped in his mouth as he swallowed. He winced and his face scrunched in pain before he parted his lips and forced a small and weak whisper,"...S-s...som..e..thi..ng.."

Zack felt his eyes sting but he fought back the happy tears that his friend was still with him. It was a bitter happiness; he should have been there to protect Cloud like he promised he would. He swore to Cloud that that man would never come across Cloud ever again; he lied. He failed him. Zack gathered the broken boy in his arms and rushed through the locker room, only pausing to grab a towel from the wall to cover his friend. He didn't care about the prying eyes that watched him as he ran down the corridors with a naked man bleeding from the head with a towel draped across his waist; he didn't even see them. He had tunnel vision; he needed to get Cloud to the infirmary and fast. He would deal with that bastard later; all that mattered right at that moment was Cloud's safety.

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K again sorry it took so long!! If I gets' lots o reviews I promise to make the chapter extra long! horray!! thats not bribing... it's just... negotations...yes thats right...


	7. Chapter 7

Cloud grimaced; _where…am I… The showers…? No… _Cloud stirred as his eyes became active between his lids trying to draw himself back to consciousness. He was laying on something to comfortable to be the cold tiled floor of the shower. He wondered had someone found him; he searched through his memory trying to grasp the events that unfolded. He remembered him facing the spray of water; remembered the man throwing him up against the wall; recalled him fighting back and almost escaping… _Almost…_ But he couldn't remember what exactly happened after; he remembered falling forward and cracking his head against the floor. The pain throbbing throughout his skull confirmed the event; _but had he… was he…_

Cloud tried to open his eyes; he strained to do so as the light pierced his pupils making them burn painfully. His frown grew as he brought his hand to his forehead to block some of the light so he could open his eyes. Cloud forced himself to sit up and thankfully noted that there was no pain other than the pain in his torso and skull. Cloud sighed softly in relief; but he was sure that the man was on top of him at one point. He, though half conscious, did feel a numb tingling crawling over his body; no doubt the man had touched him. Cloud visibly cringed as he felt the sensation over his skin; it made his stomach twist and his body flinch. Cloud finally sat himself straight up in the bed taking in his surroundings. The room was a ghastly shade of white; so was everything else in the room; it was painful to his eyes, he briefly wondered if it was just him or if even adjusted eyes flinched at the rooms overwhelming brightness. His eyes settled on the form slouched in the chair not to far from his bedside. Cloud smiled softly at the raven-haired man and it became to clear what had happened; Zack had protected him just like he promised he would. Almost immediately after the realization hit him he frowned; sure he appreciated Zack coming to his rescue. It wasn't that he was ungrateful; he was indebted to the boy for protecting him; but he couldn't help but feel ashamed. How was he ever going to become a SOLDIER if he couldn't protect himself against one man? Larger than he was granted but that's no excuse; and he knew that. Cloud's frown only further deepened as he glanced over his friends troubled features; the boy though asleep; had his lips pressed tightly together in a thin line. His face was scrunched together as if he were sleeping through a nightmare. Cloud knew the boy probably only fell asleep because of his utter exhaustion. It was evident seeing that Zack was still wearing his training clothes and had obviously not bothered to wash up or let alone move from his place next to Cloud's bed. Cloud's fists clenched tightly in his lap as he stared down at his balled fists; Cloud more than ever needed to rebuild his bruised ego. He wasn't going to be small and helpless; he wasn't going to be weak. Nor was he going to be seen as some delicate fragile boy who needed to be rescued; he needed to face things on his own; he needed to redeem his hurt pride.

Cloud took a deep breath before relaxing his hands; he peered over to Zack's sleeping form speaking softly to gently arouse the boy from his slumber, "..Za-ck…" Cloud's brows pressed together in frustration; _I guessed he really did a number on my throat…._ Cloud's voice was rasp; a dull pain erupted through his neck when the sound tried to push through his throat. He inwardly cursed but made a second attempt forcing his voice past his lips, "..Zaack…" He sighed_; better but still pathetic… _

Zack shifted as his eyes blinked open; Cloud would have laughed as Zack encountered the same issue with the brightness of the room invading his eyes. Zack, however, added a few curses under his breath. Zack paused and nearly jumped out of his chair realizing it was Cloud who drew him from his slumber. He didn't even realize he had fallen asleep, "Cloud!"

Cloud chuckled very softly as he watched Zack's huge grin cross his features. When Cloud focused on his friends grin his amusement faded; he looked worn and tired; the grin he wore was somehow sad. Cloud couldn't explain it but he knew the grin, although looking like a trademark Zackery Fair grin, was hollow and strained. _Almost….Sad…_

Zack instantly knew Cloud had seen past his farce; no matter how happy he was to see Cloud OK it still killed him inside to know that he was here in the first place do to his absentmindedness. He saw the strange looming figure; if he only paid more attention; if he only kept a better eye out for Cloud. _If I only kept my promise…he wouldn't be here right now.. he wouldn't be in pain; he wouldn't have gotten hurt; he would've never had to experience what had happened… _Zack concluded to himself. Cloud almost reading his thoughts summoned his voice to speak lowly, "It's not your fault Zack… I let my guard down…"

Zack looked at the boy in disbelief, "Cloud I promised… I said I would and I …"

Cloud felt a pain stab at his broken pride; he hadn't meant to speak so loudly but it came out forceful all the same, "I don't need someone to look after me; I'm not a child!"

Another pain hit Cloud's chest as he saw Zack's face twist into a hurt expression; he looked that of a whipped dog. Cloud swallowed ignoring the pain as it followed down his throat, " …I-I'm sorry… I didn't mean… I-I just…" Cloud looked down to his hands again, "I can handle myself…"

Zack felt a burning in the pit of his stomach, "Sure Cloud you really had the situation under control.."

Zack nearly flinched when he saw the fire burning behind Cloud's eyes; he wanted to make his point but he didn't mean it the way it came out.

Cloud's tone was that of warning as he spoke low under his breath, "I was caught off guard… I can handle myself Zack…"

"But Cloud…," Zack started but Cloud didn't give him a chance to finish.

"I don't need you to play the part of hero," Cloud burst out; regretting the words soon after he said them. He looked away from Zack and off to the side; eyes focused on the floor, "..Thank you…for what you did… but from now on I'll handle things on my own…"

Zack couldn't believe what he was hearing; the burning in the pit of his stomach was ready to burst. He felt his hands tightly gripped at his sides; felt the heat overcome his body as his frustration grew quickly to anger.

"All this time…," Zack's words were low; venomous even, "… we relied on each other. For training… for studies… friendship… and you're going to change that all because of your bruised ego?! I thought we were in this together Cloud; I never forgot my promise but maybe you forgot yours," Zack nearly shouted. Cloud's flinched at the words and dropped his head lower unable to make eye contact with the raven haired man. He wished desperately to escape the man's burning blue orbs; they seemed to burn holes into his skin and throw daggers into his chest.

The raven haired cadet turned on heel after giving Cloud one last look of disbelief exiting the infirmary; shutting the door none to gently. Cloud; only then; lifted his gaze to the door. He cursed himself for being to selfish as to not consider how Zack felt. His last words ringing through Cloud's mind seemed to throb more painfully than the wound to his skull. Cloud sunk back into his bed and buried his head into the pillow. He took a quick gasp for air in a failed attempt to stop the sobs that would inevitable shake his huddled form. He drew his knees to his chest and covered himself with the covers; he didn't want anyone to see him in such a weakened state. Too much happened all at once; to much were circling his mind; to many ghost-like touches were searching his body; to many guilty voices and words circulated his head. Zack would forgive him; _wouldn't he?_ Cloud silenced his sobs in his pillow; trying to search for sleep to overtake him. _I didn't forget Zack… I'm sorry… _

Only a day later and Cloud was fit for duty; the injury to his skull and the majority of the bruising healing time was accelerated by the effects of cure spells the nurses placed on him. Lucky for Cloud the day was to start out with none other than field practice; with weaponry no less. Each cadet was given gun; filled with paintballs of course; and separated into two factions. Cloud and Zack found each other on opposite teams; and honestly it made Cloud feel uneasy. It was as if the world now dared to put a rift even larger between them. The instructor quickly went over the rules; most of the cadet's seemed prepared; most likely they were informed of today's activities. Cloud shrugged it off; he would just have to pay a little more attention to the instructor no harm done. A strange feeling passed over Cloud and he became a little tense. He felt eyes on him; he knew better than to cower or show his reaction so he nominated to turn and face the glaring eyes. A few of the other teams member's were walking towards him; a glint of mischief in their beady eyes. Cloud's own blue orbs narrowed and he pressed his lip in a fine line; trying to display the look of 'bad day to fuck with me'. This seemed to only humor the other boys as they brushed past Cloud knocking him in the shoulder; this effectively did little to move the blonde as he stood his ground. A small hiss of a whisper followed along with the bumped shoulder, "See you out there Blondie..."

Cloud only frowned shaking his head; he knew now more than ever he would have to face some abuse from the others. Especially after finding that the larger man; who he came to find out was dubbed Ralph; was looking at a dishonorable discharge from the army for his actions. No matter how ill Ralphs' intentions were Cloud knew he would be ganged up on because it was 'his' fault; Cloud had to snicker at that; that Ralph might be kicked out of the armed forces.

Each team lined up on either side of the field and began filling their respective hoppers; Cloud kept a weary eye on Ralph's litter of flunkies. He would make sure to take them out first; or at least try. His eyes shifted over to Zack; Cloud quickly dropped his eyes back to his own gun as he noticed Zack was staring at Cloud all the while filling his own hopper. Zack grunted as Cloud dropped his eye contact and shook his head going back to his gun.

The field was set up with bunkers inside a perimeter; much like a paintball tournament would be set up. Only now add a few obstacles and two large groups of army grunts and you had field practice. _Oh the joy_; Cloud could only muse.

"Take Position ladies," The instructor yelled before readying his whistle. With one large gasp of breath he blew the whistle and signaled the start. The exercise went fairly well at first; Cloud lead his team developing a strategy to overwhelm the opposing team. Zack almost immediately took charge of his team; organizing them to counter his friends' strategys. The first few matches were long and ended both teams point for point. Cloud didn't like how the day was going; he wished that Zack was on his team rather than against it. But there was no time to worry about that; he would have to speak to him later on the subject. The cadets were released momentarily to grab a drink and refill their hoppers; Ralphs' 'flunkies', as Cloud liked to call them, made it a point to make sure Cloud didn't have a chance to grab any water. The blonde was annoyed but otherwise unfazed; it would only be a few more rounds and even though he was thirsty he knew waiting wouldn't kill him.

_Oh it won't **'kill me'**_; Cloud huffed as he scolded himself inwardly; _only slightly inhabit my ability to continue living!_ Cloud sighed; _One round left... _

Both teams quickly filled their hoppers; with the exception a select few boys on Zack's team who were taking a bit longer than the others. Cloud cocked a brow over to the small group; it was all of Ralph's buddies who were holding the match up. Cloud could hear the group snickering and babbling on but he didn't pay much mind; he only shook his head and waited for the round to start.

"Final round!" A whistle signaled them to start once again. For some reason Cloud couldn't shake the strange feeling that something was going to go wrong....

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Cliffffffffffff hangerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr don't they suck? Well lets seeeee um I wanna try something maybe it will work mayb not But lets try for shits and giggles..........

**In the last Chapter I made a point to use Quotes of Cloud's from FFVII If anyone is able to point all the quotes in the last chapter out to me I will personally write them a fic ( BE it W.e. you want! ) I thought it be fun but it's up to you guys! **

So I know holidays and blah blah blah but I didn't get very many reviews which makes me muy muy sad = ( I want to know what you guys think so please Review It is much appreciated and Thank you for all of you who read and review or just read well........ thanks everybody * HUGS* and now that that gay moments over with I'm going to mosey on outta here!! and I'm off.................. * flies away *


	8. Chapter 8

Three minutes into the last round and Cloud knew instantly what the other team had planned; but he was too late and powerless to stop it. His troop already pulled to far ahead of him; ego's clouding their judgement as they rushed eagerly forward. Cloud silently cursed under his breath. He pulled out from behind his bunker only to have to jump back into hiding as a shower of paint flashed before his vision and rang in his ears.

_Are they... pinning me down? _

Cloud growled to himself as he searched for a way to retreat from the bunker; only to find he was pinned down at all sides. His eyes scanned around him trying to find anyone from his troop; but they were to far ahead and he couldn't reach them. Not even his voice carried that far; he grunted and weighed his options. Cloud tensed as he heard a rush of paint fly closer and closer to him; shouting; feet pounding at the dirt behind him. The steps were moving on his position; _That's suicide?! _

Cloud, careful not to peer to far over the bunker, turned and took aim over the top of the bunker keeping low. His eyes went wide as he took desperate shots at the - not one but five - men charging for him; two of which he shot but they continued onward ignoring it. Before he could do much else they split up and surrounded Cloud on all sides taking aim and firing. All the men were only mere feet away as they showered the defenseless boy with paint.

Paint hit all over Cloud's body; but something was different. The paint didn't burst; it only pounded painfully against Cloud's skin as it hit. Cloud collapsed to his knees and shielded his head with his arms. The paint pelted him; Cloud bit his lip hard to avoid from crying out as the pain ripped through him. The balls of paint slamming into his small frame. Cloud knew that each one left a welt that would glow across his skin; he knew even that they had to be breaking skin as they hit. He could feel the throbbing and stinging pain in each newly formed welt. He swore it felt like someone was actually shooting bullets; it seemed to take the instructor an eternity to start blowing his whistle and yell at the other cadets to stop.

Cloud's body felt like it was on fire; but he knew he couldn't show weakness- not in front of these men - not in front of Ralph's flunkies. Cloud should have known they planned something; he reached down with slightly shaky fingers at one of the balls that dropped after smacking his skin. His eyes narrowed and his frown deepened into an expression of anger; the paint was 'frozen'. It was ice cold; no wonder they didn't burst; no wonder they felt so painful. Cloud figured at 14 balls per second and five men aimed on him for almost a full minute before the instructor intervened.... Cloud gritted his teeth pulling himself up to stand. He smirked defiantly at the group despite his pain. The instructor was raving like a lunatic; obviously more than a little upset for the past event. The instructor quickly dismissed the other cadet's and requested an audience with the five men privately.

Cloud turned off the field towards the barracks trying his best not to show the pain that erupted from the simple movements. He heard another pair of rushed feet run up to him. However he didn't tense; he knew who the trot belonged to; he was only surprised that the raven haired cadet hadn't approached him sooner. Cloud only mentally winced as a hand came down on his shoulder, "Cloud are you alright buddy?"

Cloud sighed to conceal a painful grunt that threatened to spill past his lips; he was sure the shoulder Zack's hand so 'gently' had been placed upon was now covering over a half dozen welts. Zack must have felt the small raised mounds because he quickly lifted his hand away and looked to Cloud with concern opening his mouth to speak.

"I told you before... I can handle things on my own....," Cloud paused, "I never forgot my promise Zack; We're in this together... but there are just something I need to..."

Zack cut him off his head dropping to watch the tips of his boots scuff the ground, " I know Cloud...Listen, let's just forget about the whole thing ok? We're still friends right..?"

Cloud smiled softly, "Friends," He raised his arm up and they bumped their forearms together.

Zack looked over to Cloud quickly replacing his serious grimace with a large cheeky grin, "Let's mosey on out of here; Don't know about you but I need a loooooooong shower! Can't attract the ladies smelling like paint and BO"

Cloud chuckled replying smugly; ignoring the twitch of his brow at the pain it caused for his skin to stretch against the newly formed welts, "Dressing up other recruits hardly makes them count as women, Pup."

Zack gaped, "Awwww.... Chocobo head; geeezzz that's cold!"

Cloud raised his brow, his eyes twitching as he scowled; the name really didn't bother him that much but he couldn't let Zack know that. He'd never hear the end of it.

Finally making it to their lockers they started to strip from their paint and sweat soaked training gear. Cloud's brows pushed upwards as he pulled each article off; every small movement of his muscles sent waves of pain throughout his body. He choked back the hisses as the offending fabric brushed against the ripped and welted skin. Finally removing his shirt Cloud frowned. His torso was nothing but patch work of purples, blues, pinks. and reds. Rings popped out from the patches; some overlapping over each other. His chest was no different; Cloud snickered gravely at the sight. There was more bruising than there was his natural fair skin; and the bruise left from Ralph's powerful fist still hadn't completely healed. Add a sickly yellow to the list of discolorations over Cloud's body. Cloud only sighed and stripped down completely wrapping a towel around his waist; he turned heel and started to take a step towards the showers.

"Heya Cloudy wait up would you.....,"Zack's voice trailed off as he saw the condition the boy's body was in. His mouth slightly parted and eyebrows lifted in concern, "Cloud..."

Cloud forced a weak smile, "It's alright; it doesn't hurt as bad as it looks."

Zack felt the familiar rise of anger boiling in his stomach; but it wasn't directed at Cloud. He was angry he wasn't able to protect Cloud again.

Cloud gave Zack a light punch to the arm, "Don't worry about it..Let's hurry up so we can get some chow."

Zack forced a very obvious fake smile and nodded; his features never relaxed as his eyes followed the form leading them into the showers. How could he allow something like this to happen? Cloud's once flawless skin was now matted by ugly bruising, welts, and scabs. Zack frowned deepened; he wanted to comfort his friend like he usually had. Ever since they came here Cloud was just... _Well... Different... _He missed Cloud coming to him in the middle of the night. He missed comforting the boy; holding him; stroking his that patch of hair that he always cooed at; missed the warmth of his friends body against his own. There was a time when Cloud would dare to nuzzle his neck and Zack would feel the tiny boy's warm breath tickling the sensitive area of skin, but now.... Cloud seemed to want to be independent more than anything; Zack didn't want to tell his friend this but the main reason he had gotten so upset the other day was because Zack was hurt. It hurt him that Cloud didn't seem to need him anymore; why did his friend want to take everything on himself lately? Zack sighed as he stepped under a shower head and began to wash himself ever so often allowing his eyes to wander Cloud's bruised form.

Cloud shifted a little uncomfortably; usually he didn't mind when the other boy stared but considering the situation Cloud was very unnerved. Cloud tried to ignore the sharp blue eyes that began to burrow into him. He didn't want Zack's pity; and even though he wanted so desperately to swallow his pride and curl up in his friend's protective grasp he wouldn't allow it. He needed to be strong; he needed to stand with his friend, beside his friend... on his own. Cloud only allowed a very faint expression of pain as his face wrinkled slightly twisting. The warm water made the open skin sting even more; and the pounding of the drops on his skin made him tense; in turn pulling at his skin and allowing a small moan of pain to faintly brush past his lips. It was only two more days til they had the exams and he was determined to prove to everyone that he wasn't some fragile little farm boy. He couldn't wait to see the look on their faces when he became a SOLDIER.

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k so short chapter but w/e a chapter is a chapter Hope you guys like it and thank you to whom has been keeping up with my stories and such and such ^.~ I really wouldn't be so determined to keep writing if it wasn't for the reviews - alerts - favorites I continue to write for all of you...... awwwwwwww mushy mushy anyway! let me know how I'm doing..... and if anyone is still interested If you can point out the Quotes from FFVII game out of Chapter 6 I will personally write you a story of your liking = ) Thankyou!

**Wow sorry guys I just looked to the last chapter and realized that only half of it was posted o.O; Um so I'm very sorry for the mix up! and Sorry I didn't see that mistake sooner....... er........ reviews still? lol Sorry again!! Gomen Gomen Gomen!! **


	9. Chapter 9

Cloud frowned watching the not so cleanly looking male plop what was supposed to be food on his tray. The food was absolutely terrible; and now that they were allowed to eat three meals a day versus starving through training the food didn't seem worth the full stomach. Cloud mused he might even lose the contents of his stomach after eating the slop before him.

After retrieving the supposed 'food' Cloud scanned the area quickly for open seating. Zack wasn't with him today; he had wanted to get some extra training in. Once Cloud told him he would be going to the mess hall Zack; not so non-saliently offered to go with him, surely to 'oversee' that he didn't bump into his growing list of_ friends_; but Cloud would have none of it. Zack, after A LOT of convincing, finally agreed to staying behind. Even after reassuring Zack that he could take care of himself Zack still persisted that it wouldn't hurt to have him around. Cloud knew that was true but his childhood friend was literally up his ass twenty four seven. And thankful that he was for Zack's dedication of sorts he just wanted some time to himself; other than just sleeping.

Cloud almost chuckled at the thought making his way to a empty seat in the corner of the mess hall; even in his bunk he really didn't have anytime from Zack to be honest. The boy would just talk and talk and talk and talk from the next rack over; and after he was done talking you'd think Cloud could get some shut eye..... but Nooooooo!!!! Ladies and Gentlemen Zackary Fair was a SNORER; it never bothered Cloud before but he realized just how bad the loud noise was as it echoed in the empty cement wall and floored room.

"Can you BELIEVE they expect us to eat this shit!"

Cloud blinked rapidly head springing up as he was jolted from his thoughts; he focused his gaze upon the intruding voice. A younger male; probably the same age as Cloud; threw his hands up in exasperation, "Really Hee-chan, I think they're '_trying_' to kill us!"

_Hee-chan? _Cloud turned his attention to the mentioned and nearly fumbled his fork; the boy was..._ Beautiful_... Cloud blinked mentally correcting himself_... err...Handsome.. _

The louder boy was definitely more feminine; a long braid fell down the slender boys back. Cloud wondered how he managed to go through training without getting it entangled; _he probably did... _The slender framed braided boys features were very androgynous; his heart shaped face glowed with a ever present grin. Cloud almost chuckled; the grin was just as wide as Zack's if not even bigger. But even the boys stunning violet eyes paled in comparison to his quiet companion's.

Said boys were a deep cobalt blue; they reminded them of a dimmer version of Zack's own bright blue eyes; but the depth that they held was just as entrancing. Though thin; much like Cloud's own lithe frame; he was toned and presumably strong. His expression was void of emotion compared to his boisterous friend; almost dead really. His eyes were narrowed and a very unnerving glare was sent to his friend in warning; but the other boy just continued on as if this 'Hee-Chan' was responding well to the one-sided conversation. Cloud's own eyes began to stare tracing the features of, he guessed, Japanese or Chinese male. The messy locks of dark brown hair hung heavy in the front as spiked bangs fell in front of his cobalt orbs. Cloud noted that the tone of his skin was only slightly paler than Zack's own sun-kissed glow; although not nearly as pale as Cloud.

"Hn..," the only response 'Hee-chan' offered to his over dramatic friend; who in turn only mumbled crossing his arms and looking away grumpily like a five year old denied.... well anything! Cloud watched the slightly parted lips allow the breath of his 'elaborate' response brush over the moistened pair. Cloud had to slip his own tongue over his own drying lips; he didn't realize he was staring until 'Hee-chan' locked eyes with him. Cloud felt his breath hitch and he felt like a deer caught in headlights. The boy hadn't turned or moved; nothing; instead his gaze shifted to the corner of his eye to glare at Cloud curiously. Cloud gulped as the other boys eyes bore into him. He recovered himself and turned his gaze to snap back towards the slop in front of him called food a bit flushed. After a moment or so Cloud couldn't help but look to the other boy out of the corner of his eye; he had to bite back a sharp and what he knew would be a embarrassing shriek. Lets face it no boy should shriek; even under a death glare.

The braided boy just chuckled bouncing over to sit across from Cloud; he hid a frown as Cloud tensed visibly, "Aw don't mind him kid; he glares a lot but he's mostly harmless!"

Cloud looked up slowly to the violet eyed man voice quiet, "...mostly..?"

The braided boy shrugged tossing an arm behind his back to scratch at his braid, "Eh..," he glanced over to the cobalt eyed companion, "Isn't that right Heero?"

_Heero... well that explains Hee-chan... _

Heero didn't respond at all and the braided male could only sigh over dramatically before turning back to Cloud, "Aaaaany way; I'm Duo. Don't mind Mr. Personality of here...as you can see he's quite the chatter box," Duo rolled his eyes; tone sarcastic and grin ever present. Cloud couldn't help but smile; that smile, however, didn't last long.

"Look who's here boys," the voice was recognized by Cloud almost immediately but not soon enough to avoid the hard clap of the voices open palm smacking down to tightly grip his bruised shoulder. Cloud hushed the gasp of pain that the still fresh and sore bruises radiated throughout his shoulder. Cloud fought the urge to glare and punch the man than and there; the last thing he needed was more trouble. The exams would take place in just one more day and there was no way he was going to miss his chance to prove himself because of some group of ruffians. Instead he slowly reached up to remove said man's hand from his shoulder before returning back to his lunch. Just as Cloud lifted a fork full of food to his mouth a hand smacked his causing him to drop his fork and the contents to land on his uniform pants; Cloud frowned and sighed softly before turning to face the 'voice'. It didn't surprise him at all when he saw the ring leader of his 'friend' Ralph's notorious little gang or the group standing behind him.

"Yes," Cloud sounded monotone; hiding the annoyance in his voice as he stared the 'ring leader' in the eye.

"That was rude of you Blondie; here my friends and I get excited to see you and you just brush us off? Not bitter about that training accident are you Strife?"

"I had no intention of being rude; and no... I'm not bitter; why would I be," Cloud spoke in a matter o' fact tone. He hid the smirk that threatened to cross his features as he watched the boys ears glow red; the glow of red hot anger spreading to his face.

The man snatched Cloud by the collar of his uniform gripping the fabric tightly in his balled fists; Cloud remained impassive, the only hint of his growing anger was his now slightly narrowed eyes," Listen you little.."

"Hey buddy why don't you go on your merry way with the rest of your butt buddies and leave the kid alone; he obviously doesn't think your his type pal," Duo's words caught their ears silencing the offending cadet.

The cadet snarled," Mind your own business asshole."

Cloud could hear Duo cracking his knuckles behind him and he could sense the glare burning into the cadet holding him by his collar; the cadet was sporting his best glare but Cloud could see from the beading sweat that he was perhaps nervous.

"This isn't your fight Duo," a new voice spoke; completely void of emotion, monotone, scary even.

Cloud turned his head to see that said voice was supplied by none other than Hee-chan..._err...Heero..._

The boys Cobalt blue orbs burned in what could only be described as a death glare; Duo only mumbled sitting back down. Cloud wasn't sure why Heero had stopped Duo; but honestly Cloud felt a confidence build in him. Unlike Zack; who would have mopped the floor with these guys and turn around to Cloud to say 'I told you so'; Heero actually was allowing him to fight his own battles. Maybe that was Cloud just reading too much into it; it was probably just a honor code set by the young man but still. Regardless; he was given his battle to fight on his own. Even if Heero didn't really have faith that he could do it; he was giving him the chance.

Cloud watched a now grinning cadet focus his eyes back onto his own; Cloud's own eyes narrowed.

"Well now that we don't have any more interruptions; why don't we continue our little chat huh," the cadet asked as he gripped Cloud's shoulders roughly.

Cloud broke the cadet's grip on his shoulders and pushed him back, "I think we're finished here." With that Cloud turned around to his table once more only to feel his collar tighten around his throat as he was yanked up from his seat. As Cloud was yanked up he felt the cadet spin him around to face him only to be met with a powerful fist coming at his jaw; he only had enough time to close his eyes to prepare for the pain. Cloud's head spun as the fist connected stumbling back to fall on one knee; back hunched forward he held one hand on a seat behind him while the back of his other hand wiped the blood from his lip. He shook his lowered head and licked up the copper tasting blood from his lip.

"That was a cheap shot," Duo shouted jumping up to teach this cadet a lesson but was quickly silenced by Heero who gave him a glare of warning to sit down and shut up. Duo knew it wasn't his fight; knew that he didn't really know this kid, but that didn't change the fact that this other cadet hounding Cloud was a complete asshole and really needed what was coming to him. Duo felt all to happy to bring that too him.

Cloud stood up letting out a heavy sigh, "Are you finished?" Clouds eyes focused to the other cadet; his friends snickering behind him.

"I'm far from done Blonde," the man barked as he lunged forward; Cloud immediately took a defensive stance and managed to use the mans weight against him. A well placed grip and a small push later the man found himself face first into the table behind Cloud. Cloud fought the urge to smirk; it was just way to easy. Even as the cadet tried to catch Cloud from behind he easy dodged and sent the man flailing forward into his gang of friends. Soon the entire mess hall's attention was on the two cadets; laughter and snickering at the embarrassing attempt to attack Cloud.

"Don't just stand there GET HIM!"

Cloud frowned and this time took on an offensive stance; he easily knocked the first two cadets to the floor but was caught by a third from behind him. The ring leader of the cadets smirked, "Now we play blonde!" Cloud fought against the man who had his arms pinned behind his back; realizing he wouldn't break the hold in time pulled his legs up using his abdominal strength and kicked two feet into the cadet's stomach. The cadet fall backwards and was caught by one of his other friends; who still stumbled a few steps at the sheer force that Cloud sent the cadet flying at. The one holding Cloud let his grip fall as he tried to catch himself from falling backwards; Cloud pulled himself back up but not quick enough to stop the two cadet's who rushed at his side and grabbed his arms and pinned his legs down. The ring leader of the cadet's grimaced with a small cough balling his fists at his side as he advanced forward.

With no hope of breaking free Cloud squeezed his eyes shut as he saw the cadet throw a punch; he flinched when he heard the sound of flesh smack against flesh. But strangely; he didn't feel the pain associated with it. Cloud slowly opened his eyes and the sight made them widen; a hand had shot out just inches in front of his face and stopped the other cadet's punch. Cloud looked to his side his mouth now gaping as his eyes focused on the man who stopped the punch. Heero stood with a glare that could make a behemoth quiver in submission; his face still completely impassive. Cloud followed the boys strong arm back down to the hand now clasped around the other cadet's fist; Cloud was amazed to find that Heero's arm nor his hand made the slightest movement. It was like it was effortless to stop the blow; and hold the fist completely still even as the boy tried to rip his fist back. The cadet cried out as Heero tightened his grip, "You said it was his fight!"

Heero's eyes this time narrowed and sported a frown of disapproval and disgust as the cadet squirmed, "You lost your fight; you shouldn't have let them interfere. Coward.."

Heero pushed the man back, the cadet falling to his knees cradling his aching hand. The closest cadet holding Cloud's side dropped his grip and tried to catch Heero off guard; unfortunately for him Heero quickly flipped said cadet over his back and onto the floor. Cloud finding his left side free turned to punch the other cadet holding his right side down; he effectively connected his fist to the side of the cadet's face who than stumbled back before retreating. The others soon followed suit and the ring leader of Ralph's little gang shouted as he ran, "You better watch your back Strife!"

Cloud only shook his head before turning to Heero, "Thank you…"

"Don't mention it," Heero muttered as a bouncing Duo made his way over to the two.

"See Hee-chan's not such a bad guy; even if he 'did' get to have all the fun. He can be pretty greedy some times I tell ya!"

Heero crossed his arms and lowered his chin and Cloud couldn't help but chuckle lightly. Cloud extended a hand out to Heero who just stared at the offering; he spoke firmly, "Thank you."

Heero raised a brow in question, "I told you…"

"No," Cloud cut him off, "Not for helping me; for not helping me… at first."

Duo's brow now raised as he shift to lean on his left carrying his right toe to tap against the ground hands crossed behind his head, "Ok; you got me; Now I'm confused."

Heero nodded in understanding and took Cloud's hand in his with a firm shake.

Duo groaned, "Oh no; I found another weird one!"

Cloud only smiled at duo, "Well at least 'he' smiles!" Duo stated this with a matter of fact tone and a nudge in Cloud's direction all the while staring at a still emotionless Heero who only replied with a 'hn'.

Cloud and the others sat down to complete their meals; Duo did most of the chatting while Cloud responded and Heero just nodded. He did put in his input when necessary; but really only when necessary. Cloud felt a breath of fresh air by speaking with the two; it was nice to know that Cloud now had friends other than just Zack. As a matter of fact; he couldn't wait to tell Zack about the unlikely pair. He knew Zack and Duo would be two peas in a pod; and Heero reminded him a bit of himself. Sure he was a lot quieter and a LOT more reserved than Cloud was; but he strangely felt a similarity between them. That and he couldn't help but catch the side glances that Heero kept giving him; it made Cloud want to blush because he noticed he was doing the same.

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OK I know.. WHERE"S ZACK?! Yes yes Zack is absent from this chapter but don't worry! I promise this will still ultimately be a Zack X Cloud…. So don't be to afraid! I do need to 'broaden' Cloud's horizon so to speak - You'll see what I mean - This is mainly just a introduction chapter to bring in Heero and Duo…….. Why gundam wing? Um….. Good question… I read a fic and I felt compelled to write them in this story….. Well any way tell me what you think! Be nice R&R …… I'm not getting very many reviews; would it help to say I like them lots?

*On all floors bowing* PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASEEEEEEEEEEEE

Heero-……………

Cloud-……………

Zack- Jesus review before I have to hear anymore whining * plugs his ears*

Duo-……that's just……..sad……….


	10. Chapter 10

Cloud's heavy breathing came in the form of pants as he continued his training. Tomorrow was the big day; he had to make sure he had everything covered. He went over all his stances and steps just to make sure he could perform everything as perfectly as possible. Initially he was worried that the training incident would effect his performance but other than a few sore muscles he was no worse for the wear.

Wiping the beading sweat gathering over his brow with the back of his hand Cloud took in a deep breath.

"A few laps than we'll call it a night," Cloud seemed to assure himself.

He shook his head with a tired grin as he realized he referred to himself, one person and the only person there, as 'we'.

"Going crazy there Strife," he questioned himself mockingly with a soft chuckle before starting his run.

Cloud wanted to relax and enjoy his run but he couldn't help but be bothered by a previous conversation he had shared with Zack. Shortly after he had left the chow hall he had caught up with Zack and filled him in on the events that took place. Zack of course was none to happy that he wasn't there in the first place but oddly enough that's not what bothered Cloud. Cloud knew Zack would have a similar reaction; his friend was very protective of him so it was no surprise that Zack felt guilty for not being there to 'protect' him. No accumulation of words that Cloud jammed into Zack's skull about not needing to be protected would ever truly sink in. That didn't mean that Cloud accepted the fact and gave in to his over protective friend; quite the opposite really. He always made sure to give Zack a hard time about it. But as said this was not what was bothering Cloud. What was bothering him was the reaction he received from mentioning Duo and Heero. Zack had tensed and if Cloud didn't know any better he would have thought Zack was angry. It confused the boy to no end; _why would Zack be angry?_

It bothered Cloud more so that Zack had seemed more irritated at the mention of Heero. Of course he didn't tell Zack everything about Heero; especially not his conflicted thoughts involving the boy. Cloud flushed as he ran and grunted to himself;_ not conflicting thoughts just… different._

He just described the boy with the wrong words; and he wasn't staring he was just… he was curious that's it. Curiosity; Heero seemed quite mysterious and maybe that's what intrigued Cloud about him. Last thing he wanted was Zack to misinterpret his thoughts about Heero and think he was…gay… He wasn't gay; or at least he didn't think he was. He had stared yeah but he wasn't staring at Heero for that reason. Was there really a reason? Cloud scoffed at himself running a little harder speaking to himself in a harsh hushed tone, "You're over thinking all of this Strife! Just listen to yourself, your being ridiculous…"

_Just curiosity that's all it was… Curiosity…_

Letting out a rush of air from his lungs Cloud started a sprint to finish up his last lap around the track. The entire thing was just silly; thinking of it was even sillier. Why was he thinking about it anyway? He didn't have anything to worry about; like previously mentioned Cloud Strife was NOT gay. Heero was a friend just like Zack… Cloud grunted as he finished his lap taking in a few large breaths of air. He had caught himself staring at Zack the same way… more than on one occasion in all honesty. His thoughts began to make himself feel uncomfortable. What if he really was attracted to his 'friends'? Cloud made his way over to the bench snagging his water bottle and gulping down the cool liquid. He frowned as he grabbed his towel and buried his face into the fabric. Even if he was attracted to Heero and Zack; by some off chance; he wouldn't say anything let alone act upon it. His mind reeled as he examined his relationship with Zack; they were just close friends and he was happy with that… wasn't he? Of course he was happy! Zack was always there for him and vice versa. Sure they were a lot closer than most friends seemed to be but that didn't mean anything right?

Cloud tensed as he heard the creak of the training room door whine as it slowly opened. He slowly moved the towel down far enough to peer his cool blue eyes scan the doorway. The sight only forced him to tense further. With a aggravated sigh he dropped the towel and calmly turned to the doorway. His voice low; he didn't bother to hide his irritation, "You guys just don't know when to give up do you…"

Cloud's eyes widened considerably as his eyes focused on the large figure standing amongst the other individuals in the group. The group dwarfed next to the towering man; in size and stature. His voice passed through Cloud's ears; the low sound causing any sense of calm to quickly diminish, "What's wrong Cloud? I thought you'd be happy to see me." Every muscle twitched in Cloud's body as he shifted into a defensive posture.

_This isn't good… If it was just the usual group I would be able to fend them off… but… with him here…_

Cloud's fists clenched at his sides as he weighed his options. He could run; but the only exit was blocked. Most likely they would leave someone to guard the door.

He could fight them off one at a time… but loosing focus on any of the others would make him susceptible to attack from another member of the group.

_Rushing at them would be suicide…_

He had no choice but to wait for them to come to him; and assess the situation accordingly. The blonde took in a deep breath as he watched Ralph step forward moving away from the group.

"I've been waiting a long time to see you again," each step the man took towards him he involuntarily took a step back. It was as if his body acted on its own knowing the dangers the man possessed. It wasn't until the young cadets back hit the matted wall that he silently cursed. Within a few short seconds Ralph had closed the gap between them; and to make matters worse three others were quickly closing in behind the larger man. The blonde's breath held painfully still in his lungs as Ralph pressed his palms on either side of Cloud's head against the wall, "I'm hurt Cloud; do you realize what I had to go through because of you?"

Cloud's teeth ground before answering in a low defiant hiss, "You put yourself in that position and unless you want to end up in the same predicament than you'll let me leave."

Ralph offered a lop-sided smiled in mock hurt, "You can't leave just yet; I just got here."

Cloud quickly scanned the three now standing behind the man; two were at his left and one at the right. If he could momentarily cripple Ralph he could knock out the one on the right and make a break for the door. They left only one person at the door so he shouldn't have too much of a problem getting him out of the way; the real problem was making sure he got out quick enough. If the two at Ralph's left caught up with him it would be all over; he might be able to fend them off but not unless the one at the door was already incapacitated.

Cloud focused back in on the larger man standing in front of him. Cloud felt his body twitch while his mind constantly yelled for him to run, but he knew he had to wait till he could get the upper hand on Ralph. He was slow but powerful; and Cloud needed one very well placed punch or kick to make this work.

Ralph's smile twisted, "It really was a shame we were interrupted last time," Ralph snaked his fingers over Cloud's cheek and than down his neck, "You looked so tempting in that shower room beautiful."

The blonde's eyes narrowed his teeth pressed tightly together; the feeling of this man touching his skin made him want to vomit. He fought the urge to mercilessly beat the man to death; though he wanted to he would in evidently be jumped by the other men in the room. Cloud quickly dismissed the 'it would be worth it' thought that popped up in the back of his skull.

Cloud was snapped from his thoughts as Ralph began to lean forward; his left hand cupping under his chin. Cloud couldn't help but grin as Ralph closed his eyes for the intended; he was giving Cloud just what he wanted, an opening.

Before the gap was closed Cloud thrust his knee into the offenders stomach before jolting a well placed elbow in-between the man's skull and neck. The man fumbled forward and fell straight into the wall as Cloud dashed to the man at the left. The stunned and wide eyed cadet didn't have time to react to Cloud as the blonde sent a devastating punch straight into the man's nose. The cracking sound and pop indicating that he must have in fact broke it; what confirmed it as Cloud's feet pounded towards the door was the collapse and yell of the cadet screaming about his nose.

_One more…!_

He could hear the gasped yell from Ralph instructing the others to catch him; and hear the approaching foot steps coming up from behind him. But it was already to late he had reached the door. All he had to do was knock out this last one and he could get back to the barracks; he would be untouchable there. The cadet guarding the door went to grab him but Cloud tripped the over easily and ran through the doorway; he was safe! He was…

A strangled gasp left his lips as he was abruptly stopped by a hand clasped around his throat. The force knocked him to the ground on his back before he even knew what was happening. The blonde felt the hand leave his throat than tightly grip at his collar. He was pulled to his feet; his arms limp at his sides and his eyes squinted as he coughed trying to gather air. He was dragged back into the room and thrown to the mats; his escape route, the only door out of the room, was than shut.

"He put up quite a fight; you guys almost let him get away," the voice of the man who stopped his escape.

They had someone outside the door… I should have known that it wasn't going to be that easy…

Cloud pushed himself to his hands and knees before forcing himself to stand, "You say that like you've won the fight."

It wasn't wise to provoke them further but the blonde couldn't help but feel enraged at the assumption that he was down for the count. He could handle this; he wasn't weak. He wouldn't let them walk all over him; two against one; five against one; a hundred against one; it didn't matter he would prove he wasn't weak.

"Oh but we will," a tautening voice rang in his ears.

"That wasn't very nice Cloud; I didn't want to be rough," Ralph made his way over to the blonde, "I was going to let you enjoy this, but now I don't think I'll be so generous."

Cloud focused on Ralph while still keeping an eye on any movement around him; this wasn't going to be easy. It was a losing battle for sure but he wouldn't go without a fight. The blonde knew defending himself would only delay the inevitable; he had to make his stand and do it quickly.

_I have to take out as many of them as possible; If I can knock out Ralph than the other's will go down easily. He's the only real problem. _

"Bastard…," Cloud hissed as he lunged forward at Ralph not wasting anytime to throw a fist towards the man's face. Cloud winced as his fist was caught by the large man's calloused hand; the hand enclosed around his own making his knuckles crack under the pressure. Grunting he quickly kicked his left foot aiming for the man's gut only to be stopped by another pair of hands. Cloud quickly reacted with his left elbow to said man's face. As the man fell backwards with a sharp intake of breath Cloud's own eyes widened; Ralph twisted his wrist sideways causing the boy to groan in pain.

He could hear Ralph chuckle, "You did quite a number to my boys; their not to happy about that. You better be careful beautiful; I'm not the only one you have to worry about."

Cloud shouted as he twisted his wrist in the opposite direction forcing Ralph to loose his grip; he tried to throw an uppercut but was caught by two others at his sides before he got the chance. He collapsed down to his knees as the boy's twisted his arms behind his back.

He raised his eyes to level with Ralph's, "Fuck you."

Ralph chuckled, "Is that all you can say lovely," he asked mockingly.

"Move Ralph; I owe the little shit," a nasally voice called behind the large man. Ralph simply complied with a smirk as the man with the broken nose stepped forward, "Remember not the face."

"Fine by me," the man grunted as he kneeled down in front of the blonde. Cloud's nose twitched at the coppery scent of blood now drying under the man's nose. The man's hand grabbed Cloud's jaw forcefully forcing the boy to look directly into his eyes, "I want to see you scream you little prick."

Cloud's eyes narrowed but otherwise remained unresponsive; he wouldn't let them win. He wouldn't let them see fear; he wouldn't cry out; even if they beat him to an inch of his life he wouldn't give them that satisfaction. The man only grinned as if sensing his defiance, "Let's just see how long you keep that look."

The man threw a hard punch into Cloud's gut causing the boy to cough violently gasping for air. The man seemed pleased with the reaction; Cloud had to wipe that smirk off his face. Cloud smiled through his coughing and gasps for air, "That was all… you could do…; I thought you said… you owed me."

The man's smirk did fall but that didn't stop him from thrusting another hard jab into Cloud's stomach once more. Cloud hunched forward as his eyes watered from the hit; the only way to hide the gasp of pain was to mask it with a sickening chuckle. It made even his own stomach turn. He saw the man's face light up with anger as he lifted his fist to strike his face; Cloud kept his eyes open daring him to strike. Cloud was mentally relieved when Ralph placed a firm grip on the man's shoulder, "Not the face. Move…"

The man grunted as he complied hesitantly moving away; Ralph ordered the men holding him down to grab a hold of Cloud's hair and pull his head up. Cloud ground his teeth as his hair was yanked backwards.

"You're going to break beautiful; I'll see to that," Cloud's eyes narrowed to slits but the sound that soon filtered it's way to his ears made them widen once more. The sound of a buckle; the sound of a zipper. Cloud closed his eyes and mentally screamed as Ralph's low tone made him shiver, "Open your mouth."

Cloud squeezed his eyes shut even more and remained tight lipped; he pushed his teeth together as hard as he could to keep his mouth shut. A couple of foot steps and he felt it. Cloud choked back a whimper as he felt the swollen organ's head press against his lips; he tried to throw his head sideways but the firm hands gripping his hair restricted his movement. He caught himself before he gasped as he felt some hair tear loose from his scalp.

"Open," he was instructed again as Ralph's hand gripped his jaw and tried to force it open. Cloud's brow pressed together at the pressure pushing in on his teeth; it was painful but he refused to give in. He tried to move his head to get away from the grip and the organ pressing against his mouth. He wouldn't allow this; he couldn't.

A snicker from the familiar sound of the man whose nose he smashed edged closer; he should have expected the kick that was planted into his stomach. But he would have never been able to stop the gasp as the air left his lungs; Ralph took the opportunity to shove his length into the blonde's mouth. The blonde choked around the organ as his watering eyes tear against his will.

_I won't allow this!!_

Cloud forced himself to bite down against the invading organ; it effectively retreated from his mouth as he hunched forward trying desperately to fill his lungs with air. Ralph's screams and wails of pain slightly comforted the blonde, but it was short lived as he was yanked to his feet. With no hesitation the moment he was lifted he felt fists slam into his stomach and chest repeatedly. He wasn't sure how many of the men were hitting him; the pain that coursed throughout his body nearly convinced him that a thousand punches will being rained upon his body all at once. The sudden beating seemed to last an eternity before he was finally allowed to slump to the floor; his head spun and his already sore muscles ached and cried against the fresh bruises and welts.

Ralph stormed back to the blonde and ripped at the young cadets pants in rage peeling and tearing the fabric from Cloud's waist and legs, "Let's see how you appreciate it you fucking bastard."

Cloud struggled against the man; trying and failing miserably to keep the man from tearing the pants from his body. As soon as the cold air hit his lower body he whimpered trying to pull himself away from the man's grip. He was too easily overpowered and soon a warm mouth descended over his limp organ. The warm mouth soon bore it's teeth and bite down on him Cloud couldn't do anything but scream. His screams were soon muffled by Ralph's cock as he thrust it down the boy's throat. Tears fell from Cloud's eyes as Ralph grabbed the back of the boy's head and shoved him further down his length forcing the blonde to swallow him whole. The cadets behind him switched positions; he felt the man on his right step away giving his arm to the one holding his left. The sound of another belt unbuckling alerted the blonde but all his struggling ended in vain. His legs and arms were pinned leaving him to do little more than wiggle and jerk against his restrainers.

The blonde choked and gagged as Ralph began to throw hard thrusts into Cloud's mouth; the grip on the blonde's head forcing him to bob back and forth. He felt his arms being held higher as another body knelt down behind him; his eyes grew impossibly wide when he felt something press against his entrance.

The cadet behind him spit into his hand and lathered himself quickly before grabbing the blondes' hips and shoving the blonde backwards onto his own length. This forced Ralph to step forward and thrust himself even harder into Cloud's mouth. The lack of oxygen and the searing pain made the edges of his vision become overwhelmed in a bright white. He felt his body try to coil as the pain ripped through his spine. He could hear the moans of the men and the sick comments of their pleasure; could still hear the snickers and leering of the other men all waiting for their turn but he could do nothing.

He heard Ralph moan loudly and thrust into his mouth once more before he felt a warm substance coat his throat and the inside of his mouth; the second he pulled out Cloud's throat forced the fluid back up along with the contents of his stomach. His vision was fading fast as he felt his head being pulled back up and another hard organ enter his throat and the thrusts of the man behind him begin to rapidly pound at the tight virgin entrance. Everything was beginning to become distant; thankfully even the pain was becoming numb. The broken blonde soon fell into darkness.

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Heero sighed as he walked around the training area; he wasn't sure why but he just couldn't get the blonde from the chow hall out of his mind. Sleep evaded him; or rather was chased swiftly away by his dreams. Heero rubbed the back of his neck trying to release the tense muscle underneath. Cloud was undeniably attractive; Heero's dreams let him indulge quite a bit on that aspect. But there was something else about the blonde; a determination and drive he had never witnessed before burned behind the beautiful blue and green orbs. Thus here he was making his way to the gym; he needed to release some of this frustration. Heero stopped short as he was about to round the corner to the gym; sounds of feet and a door shutting along with howls of laughter filled the empty hall.

_What the hell is such a large group doing out after curfew like this?_

Heero listened in trying to catch some of there conversation.

"Little shit put up a fight didn't he?"

"Well he's not putting up much of a fight anymore," Heero heard them snickering.

"Blonde had it coming to him after that asshole made a fool outta us in the chow hall."

Heero's eyes widened momentarily before returning to their icy glare; the moment the others were out of sight he rushed to the door. Swinging the door open his lips pressed into a fine line at the sight before him. The young cadet that plagued his dreams lay stripped and bleeding on the floor lying on in his own blood and vomit. Heero moved over to the cadet and gently situated the blonde on his side pushing the sweat matted blonde bangs from his eyes. Heero scanned over the boy to make sure he didn't have any wounds; other than the endless lumps of welt scattered across his frail form there didn't seem to be any open wounds. Heero frowned wiping the blonde's mouth freeing his lips from the sticky mixture of cum and blood.

Gathering the blonde in his arms he made his way to the showers; he needed to get the boy washed up and try to wake him up. The infirmary wasn't going to be open to the cadets till morning so Heero needed to now from the blonde what the boy wished to do. It wasn't like he was going to carry the poor boy from the gym in this condition anyway; Cloud, he knew, would never forgive him. There was a unspoken understanding that Heero had gathered from their meeting in the chow hall. He knew that Cloud wouldn't want to be viewed as weak and helpless; and with the way the poor boy looked now that's just what he would come across as. Undoubtedly that would lead him to be a target to more of these occurrences; and Heero wouldn't allow himself to be responsible for either.

Carefully carrying the boy in the locker rooms he locked the door behind him before stepping into the shower area. Turning on the water he turned his attention back to the blonde to gently strip the remaining clothes from his limp form. Heero's frown only deepened as he realized that there were old bruises mixed in with the new welts; _How many times has this happened…?_

He knew Cloud was no weakling; he was strong and fierce but strength was greater in numbers and obviously it would take a few men to do this to the boy. Heero sighed as he washed the boy; careful not to hurt his damaged skin. He heard a low whimper from Cloud and turned his attention to his face; the blonde's eyes slowly blinked and opened half-lidded. The blonde realizing he wasn't alone and was now in the shower rooms once again naked pushed away from Heero as his mind reeled back into reality, "S-Stay aw-…ay." His throat burned as he spoke; his eyes clenched tightly together.

"Stay away," he pleaded once more.

"Cloud…," Heero spoke softly; the blonde opened his eyes in shock.

"He-Heero…," The blonde lowered his gaze to the floor; he was propped into a sitting position by his arms. His lips were trembling and soon he realized of the situation; he pulled his legs to his chest and whimpered a pain ran through his spine once again.

Heero wordlessly walked over to Cloud and kneeled down gathering the shaken boy in his arms. Cloud grasped the boys shirt tightly in his hands as he buried his head into the nape of Heero's neck, "P-Please… I don't…I don't want…"

Heero stroked the boy's hair holding him close, "I won't say anything; just tell me what you want me to do."

Cloud gripped tighter against the boys uniform, "Please… just… don't let go. Let me… let me stay like this…"

Heero nodded holding the frail boy in his arms; what ever Cloud wished he would comply.

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The next morning Zack bounced from his bunk, "Yoooooooooo! Cloudy today's the day man," Zack peered over to Cloud's bunk to find it empty, "Cloud?"

"Geeez; to excited to wait for an old friend I guess," Zack muttered before getting ready and heading down to the exam room. Once there he smile grew wide as he took sight of the missing blonde, "Yo Cloudy!!"

Zack ran up to the boy but stopped in his tracks as the blonde turned his head to glance over at him; the hollow look in Cloud's eyes made Zack's heart stop in his chest. He never saw such a vulnerable and painful look in his friends eyes before; but just as quickly as it flashed through the blue-green orbs it was gone.

"Zack," Cloud forced a smile and called out for him in a all to merry tone; obviously forced.

Zack closed the gap between them and forced his own sheepish grin, "Oi; you alright Cloudy?"

Cloud smiled, "Of course; todays the day… We prove them all wrong," Cloud offered up his forearm and Zack bumped it with his own with a weary smirk.

"Yeah… it sure is."

"ALRIGHT EVERYONE PAY ATTENTION! The exam will begin in less than an hour!"

As they all listened to their instructor Zack couldn't help but stare at his blonde friend beside him. The look he saw in Cloud's eyes; his awkward stance and pained and tired expression. The way he seemed to force his smile…

_What going on with you Cloud…_

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Ok here it is…. It was going to be longer BUT than it be wickedly long and stuff and plus I have to go to work GAH! Anyway poor Cloud Sorry I had to do it Soldier exams are finally up but will Cloud be able to hold up and how long will Zack be held in the dark? Hmmmmm So many questions this chapter leaves…… Well than you should leave reviews and let me know what you think!! =3 Thanx for reading Please Review


	11. Chapter 11

Zack frowned as he observed his blonde friend. Something was really off about him yet Cloud didn't indulge his curiosity. Instead Zack was brushed off with a simple dismissive wave of the hand and a quick 'I'm fine; just tired' response.

Zack's lips pressed together as he tapped his pencil eraser against the desk holding his chin up with his opposite hand as he continued to stare. The more he looked to the blonde the more he noticed the boy's uncomfortable shifting and exhausted expression. What was Cloud not telling him? He wasn't just tired; that much was obvious. Zack would have to be blind not to notice. _And his eyes… _

Zack knew he had caught a glimpse of some sort of emotional torment; something danced in his friend's blue green orbs and he wanted answers. He needed to know what could've changed to make Cloud's eyes become so hollow and empty; it was frightening to Zack. Never before had he witnessed such a void in the blonde's eyes; not once.

Zack winced and blinked as a quick thud was produced on the top of his head; he quickly reached up to the abused area and looked sideways to see just what he had been hit with. Zack smiled sheepishly as his eyes trailed from the offending 'weapon', a clipboard, to the instructor who towered over his desk.

"Cadet Fair; if you have any aspiration to make it in to SOLDIER you will need to complete the written exam. I suggest you finish your test," the instructor's annoyed hushed tone made the sheepish grin grow wider on Zack's face.

"Sir yes Sir; Sorry sir, it won't happen again," Zack stated firmly though the instructor gave him a exasperated look.

"Just finish your exam Cadet Fair…," The instructor sighed as he moved along.

Zack's smile soon faded as the man walked away and his eyes trailed back to Cloud; _I hope it's just my imagination… Maybe he really is just tired…_

The written exam was little more than a joke to Cloud; he knew everything and quickly worked through each section. There were no concerns about this part of the test; he knew he would pass without fail. It was the physical test that had him worried. He tried to ignore the pain enveloping his body but that, unfortunately, he was failing miserably at. The simple act of sitting was painful enough but walking, let alone running….

He shifted to his other side on the seat trying not to sit directly on his butt; really it was excruciating and trying to hide the limp was even worse. He was forced to walk straight so as to not attract any attention but in doing so made it even more painful. He had to fight off the tears he wanted so desperately to shed as he felt the torn skin pull and the now familiar jolt of pain rise up his spine. The pain itself felt as though his backbone was caving in on itself. Cloud scoffed the description of the pain; _it's more like shitting out your fucking spine… _Cloud turned his attention back to his test. _Just concentrate; I need to focus if I want to get through the physical exam… It's going to take everything I have. _

Cloud felt his pride well up inside him; he wouldn't let this "handicap" stop him. He was going to become a SOLDIER; he was going to prove them wrong. _I can do this…I'll be SOLDIER… _

Within another hour the group was told to put there pencils down which signaled the end of the test. Cloud allowed a weak smile as he was already finished before they collected the tests; he was just one step closer. There was no way he was giving up now; looking back towards Zack he slightly raised his forearm with a small fist. Once Zack returned the gesture from his seat with a large grin he knew Zack had done just as well.

"Alright Cadets; you get Lunch than meet at the training grounds! You have an hour if your late you will fail," The loud voice made a few jump; Cloud was however thankful he could have time to ready himself for the next part of their exam. He slowly pushed himself out from his seat and bite the back of his lip at the pain of his sore muscles contracting. Cloud wondered if he had even a speck of pale skin left under the black and blue tinted skin. A strong hand patted his back a couple times, "You aced it too huh Spike!"

The innocent gesture made every muscle tense and thus become even more painful; the small slaps felt like fire torching his abused skin. Cloud had fight the painful cry bellowing in his throat; he forced himself to silently scream before turning back to Zack. The only indication of pain he sported was his slightly tensed brows with went unnoticed by the raven haired man, "Yeah; I think so…"

Zack raised a brow, "You think? Geez; you really must be out of it Spiky," Zack tried to nonchalantly get his friend to speak, yet failed.

Cloud snorted, "Hn," Cloud smiled softly somewhat pleading, "I need something to drink." The simple act of speaking was now aggravating Cloud; his voice was slightly rasped and masking it was no easy feet. It was painful as hell; the less he talked, he decided, the better. Which would be quite difficult around Zack. He knew the boy was rarely silent and because of this exam the raven haired cadet would probably babble on endlessly. Cloud just prayed he babbled on and didn't ask to many questions.

"Sure buddy; let's head to the chow hall and get some food too. I'm starved," he annunciated the word "Starved" as if he hadn't been fed in years. Cloud weakly smiled and nodded gesturing for Zack to led the way; he didn't want to chance walking in front of Zack. This way if he happened to slip a step it would go unnoticed by the cadet and he if noticed he could play it off as pure clumsiness or nerves.

The walk to the cafeteria and the break in between the written and physical exam was running by all to quickly. And to make matters worse Cloud was subject to a few amused stares by Ralph and his group. Cloud assumed he'd feel fear and terror at seeing his attackers; but he couldn't be more wrong. Instead a deep rage was stirring in his gut. His fists were held tightly at his sides and his eyes glared dangerously at the offenders. The chilled glare caught the eyes of Zack who in turn raised a brow; sure the group was on Cloud's and his own "people I'd love to beat the living shit out of" bingo book but the look Cloud was giving them…. It made Zack want to shiver; there was a malice in Cloud's eyes; much like the hollow and empty expression he had seen earlier; that he had never witnessed in the blonde's eyes.

Zack turned his attention to Cloud, "Cloud…?"

Zack's worried voice didn't catch Cloud's ears until the third or fourth time the boy had spoken his name and by than when Cloud's eyes met Zack's he saw the question and concern focused on him. Cloud forced a small smile and shook his head; he didn't want to speak, and more importantly didn't want to talk about 'that'. So instead he brushed Zack off with a swig of his drink and a casual wave of dismissal, "Nothing…"

Zack quirked a brow but didn't argue further; he knew his friend wouldn't budge. Besides there was no point in starting an argument before the next part of the exam. He would have to be patient and talk to Cloud about it later.

As the cadet's filed in for the next part of the exam Cloud felt his nerves starting to get the best of him. He was anxious; and worried. Scared because he knew he couldn't perform to his best ability and frightened on how much of a hindrance his sore and injured body would become. His entire body ached against the fresh and old bruises and welt he sported; thankfully they left any skin visible past the Shinra issued uniforms untouched. He doubted he could have came up with valid reasons for yet another glowing set of welts. Not only were the bruises and welts making his muscles ache and cry anytime he forced them to move; thus stretching and pulling the battered tissue; but the pain that constantly shot up and down his spine with each step and the sting of the open and split skin still tore on his lower half was making any movement a feat in itself. Cloud's teeth ground together as his jaw was set tight; _all that doesn't matter… _He reminded himself; I can _do this; I won't fail! _

Each cadet was ordered to proceed forward to select a practice sword for the exam as they were explained how the exam would be performed. To their understanding they would be summoned individually to battle a monster and dependent on their performance they would be graded by a small console of members. Than they would be evaluated through a physical examination to test every physical aspect of the cadet's talents, abilities, and limits. The average grade would determine; along with the grade from their written exam; whether or not said cadet was ready for SOLDIER.

Cloud took in a deep breath and smiled as Zack mouthed the words 'good luck'. Cloud repeated the words after a curt nod and lowered his gaze to the sword in his hands. He was still a little shaky but he knew he wouldn't allow this to deter him. He wouldn't allow his condition get the best of him; he would rise above this challenge and any others that they placed in front of him. He… no They would become SOLDIER together.

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Ooooooooook so I am mean I think because I'm cutting this chapter short = ( sorry guys I will write the next one soon I planned on having this up earlier BUT thurs. fri. and sat. are all 16 hour shifts………-.-; and this Sunday I was out and about so I didn't have time to write till today.. And I still need to post on another story…… oh bother…….. Well! Better than nothing… heh heh….. Riiiight?

Please review I shall update after I receive 3 reviews…… *nod nod* new policy people some of you have grown lazy on me………others have been more than gracious ( and I thank all that reviews!! ) next chapter will be longer so I'll probably ask for more reviews like 5 ( not that crazy) short ones I won't ask to much 3 seems reasonable…….. Babbling……. Hm………..

SO NEXT CHAPTER

Will Cloud be able to overcome his physical weaknesses and kick monster ass or is he doomed as a cadet….. And as for Zack will Cloud's angst-ness distract him and cause him to fail? Or will he be totally bad ass and snort at how pathetically easy this exam is? Hm hm hm hm hm hm….. And what about Ralph and the others? SO many questions!!!!!!!!!!


	12. Chapter 12

_Thank you for the reviews; After this chapter I would like to have 40 Reviews Please _

_After you read be gracious and hit that little button at the bottom and leave me a few words…… it would be much appreciated! _

_Now… On with the Chapter! _

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The anxiety was beginning to eat at Cloud's worn nerves. Even so he felt a rush fed by his own rage; the motivation of proving himself and making it into SOLDIER far out weighing the nagging pull in his gut. It was as if his mind was warning him what his body would not. Every ache was becoming numb as the adrenaline began to fuel him; making him forget the condition of his body. The closer and closer he came to his own battle; the less pain he felt and the more anxious he became. A small part of him recognized that his mind was trying to reason with him; but he ignored it's logic. He refused to be beaten; his stubbornness, pride, and rage burning through him and thus burning out all logic.

His eyes focused intently on the door in front of him; Zack had already gone in. He wondered how Zack was doing; the thought made him smile. Of course he was kicking the poor beasts ass and was now coming out with a million unique cheesy one liners to boost himself further. Cloud chuckled softly at the image of whatever monster they pitied against Zack trying desperately to chop it's own ears off just to silence Zack's excessive ranting.

Cloud mused that even during training together he would try to come out with witty comments as he caught the upper hand. The blonde pointed out that it really wasn't very distracting and very few unrefined troops would ever really fall for such antagonism but never the less Zack argued his point. The raven went on to say that even if distracting or antagonizing didn't work it was always fun to get a rise out of someone.

"Strife; Cadet Strife! You're up!"

Cloud snapped his eyes up to his superior blinking a few times before nodding and stepping forward. The door was opened and the blonde's superior gestured him to enter, "Good luck Cadet."

Cloud offered a quick smile before he once again grew serious. Gripping the practice sword in his hands he stepped into the room and made his way to the center. Once standing in the center of the room he noted how large it really was; far larger than he had imagined. He hadn't even suspected the sight before him in all honesty. He figured it would be an average gym like room; maybe concrete floors or plain white walls. Instead there were few scattered tree's and a grass floor; it reminded him of some of the thinner areas of the woods back in Nebelheim. The dirt and grass was lifted quite a bit; presumably from the previous fights. Some of the green stained with splashes crimson. The boy's nose twitched at the copper scent of fresh blood; he prayed that none of the cadet's blood mingled with the creatures they had to battle. Though he knew that it was inevitable and quite a few cadet's had most likely been injured, he'd like to think that they all made it through without any serious wounds. Well; most of them anyway. More importantly he hoped that Zack's own blood wasn't mixed in with the splatters littering the ground beneath his feet. He quickly dismissed the thought; it was foolish of him to think Zack would be so weak. The boy probably didn't have a scratch on him.

A loud voice echoed through the room over loud speaker cutting him off from his thoughts, "Cadet Strife; Are you ready to proceed with the next part of the exam?"

Cloud nodded and offered his voice as loud as he could; he felt the strain and burning pain rip through his vocal chords as he spoke in such a high volume, "Yes Sir! I am ready to begin!" The blonde swallowed hard hoping to coat his dried throat with his saliva; but it did little to help.

"Very well; we are now releasing Behemoth. Best of luck Cadet."

Cloud readied his sword as he looked forward to see a gate rising in the near distance. Cloud watched as the beast, finally freed, took a few steps forward towards him before coming to a complete halt. The beast's glowing yellow eyes bore into the blonde's form as if contemplating the best way to devour what he saw as a meal standing humbly before him. The beast's fur was a bright purple; the claws and long forward arched horns a midnight black; it's teeth an off white almost yellow which glinted in the light due to the excess saliva coating each tooth. A large bushy mane of orange and red stretched from the beasts head down to the center of it's back. As Cloud studied the beast he noted how feline in appearance it seemed to be. Almost like a lion on steroids; the beast was built with ripped muscle visible through it's fur and a long powerful tail stretching behind it's body.

_He could do quite a bit of damage with that thing…_

Cloud dually noted that moving behind the creature would prove to be a fatal mistake; one he was not willing to make. He quickly scanned for a open area for attack; it seemed the best way was to approach the beast from it's side. It's front legs were shorter than the back; his reach would be limited, clumsy, and slow. If the blonde could attack from the side he would be able to dodge the sloppy swipes of it's large claws. With a quick nod to himself it was decided and he sprinted forward toward the large animal.

Behemoth's muscles contracted quickly regarding the on comer. The beast lunged forward to bare it's full weight in a effort to crush Cloud; the blonde quickly rolled to his right narrowly avoiding the attack. He felt the ground impact and roll over every muscle making him regain his footing a little sloppier than normal and with a low grunt of pain he swung the sword above his head to slash down at the beast's arm. The sword effectively sliced through the skin and the beast bellowed at the freshly opened flesh. Without warning behemoth pushed itself to stand on it's hind legs using it's tail for balance and thrust itself sideways using his uninjured arm to attack Cloud.

Cloud's eyes widened at the unexpected maneuver; he quickly guarded himself behind his sword and attempted to jump back. He proved to be seconds to late as the claw ripped the sword from his hands and the sharp tip of one of it's nails sliced cleanly through his uniform shirt. His hand went instinctively to his now exposed chest to feel for any wound; luckily the attack hadn't grazed his skin in the slightest. The moment however contracted his muscles tightly causing him to wince. His exposed chest and toned stomach were retiled with purple and blue hues visible for the proctors to see; but he didn't have time to think of such things. The beast dropped down to the ground and quickly charged him. It's immense paws shook the ground under it's massive weight; Cloud only had enough time to leap forward and roll to dodge the massive creature. Cloud muffled a cry of pain by biting his lip as he stumbled back onto his feet. The numbing effects of the adrenaline seemed to be wearing down. His body was becoming heavier and he was quickly growing tired.

_I need to finish this and quickly…_

Cloud's sword caught the corner of his eye; a glint of hope radiating from the shining blade stained in a light crimson. But before he could snatch it he yet again had to jump back to avoid another swing from behemoth. Once at a safe distance he sprinted towards the sword; unfortunately behemoth was not to far behind.

The beast lowered it's head as it charged forward; Cloud's feet pounded quickly against the ground but not quick enough. Behemoth's horn managed to catch under his foot and the beast rose it's head sending Cloud a few feet in the air. The cadet's eyes widened as he saw the ground quickly coming closer and closer as gravity pulled him down. He instinctively reached forward to brace himself and almost just as instantaneously cursed mentally at the reaction. His wrists bent at an obtuse angle as his full weight crashed down on the appendages. This time Cloud didn't muffle the loud and sharp cry of pain. His wrists collapsed under him and the boy fell forward to land on his back. He turned sideways as his eyes squinted finding and focusing on the blade merely inches from his reach.

Cloud inhaled a sharply as behemoth's giant paw landed only inches from his head; the beast's own head moving closer to it's victim. Cloud slowly and cautiously pushed himself with the ball's of his feet trying to back away from the beast; his arm reaching back blindly trying to find the blade's hilt. The beast released a low growl; the sticky hot breath washing over Cloud's paling skin. Anxiety turned into desperate fear and suddenly everything hurt. His vision was becoming shaky; his eyes completely unfocused. He was tired; he wasn't prepared. Though he thought he might be able to pull this one out of a magic hat it now become obvious to him that his decision was not only the wrong one; but one that could cost him his life. Self-doubt began to eat at him; and mere milliseconds seemed to turn into an eternity as he and the beast were locked in on each other. Thoughts of his death; images and the reality of his seemingly hopeless situation. Would someone come in time? Would someone save him before it was to late; realize that he was facing death? He imaged Zack jumping through the door and cutting the beast down in front of him.

Cloud froze;_ No…No I will do this on my own…._ The boy's fists balled tightly as his nails dug into the hard earth beneath him; _I can't… I won't rely on someone to save me… I'm not weak…_

The beast's seemed to move in slow motion as it's jaws widened it's neck craned to snap forward and snatch the boy's life.

_I'm not weak!_

Cloud's eyes widened as he snapped back into reality; kicking himself from the ground he flipped backwards scooping up his sword and landing on his feet. The jaws of the beast snapped just short of him. The instant his feet touched the ground he leap forward and drove the sword between the monster's eyes.

Behemoth let out a agonized roar as it pushed itself up onto it's hind legs rearing it's head from side to side. It's cry died quickly as the beast toppled backwards landing against the ground causing the ground to quake.

Cloud's breath rasped between his lips as he struggled to push and pull the air from his lungs. He fell forward to his hands and knees and smiled at his accomplishment. His eye lids growing heavy and the adrenaline completely escaping his senses. Cloud heaved against the pain now overwhelming his body; he pushed himself to far. Every muscle that had been numb only such a short time before now burned with a fresh and agonizing frequency of pain.

The boy's last words barely audibly made it past his dry lips before he fell forward and blacked out, "I'm…not. Weak…"

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"What the hell do you mean I'm not allowed to see him," Zack cried outraged at what the nurse before him had just said.

"I'm sorry but I can't disclose that information to you cadet; I suggest you return to your barracks or sit down and wait patiently," the nurse dead panned obviously not entertaining the raging raven haired male.

The nurse quickly turned and walked away as Zack let out a low aggravated growl as he ruffled the hair on the back of his head rather roughly. He plopped down in a free chair in the waiting area. Pushing his hands into his pockets he arched his head back to stare up at the ceiling with a grimace plastered across his face. "Dammit Cloud; what happened in there…."

Zack's eyes closed as he tried to still the painful heavy beating of his heart. The familiar pain in his chest made his eyes close even tighter as he held back aggravated tears.

Right after he had completed the last part of his physical exam; mostly endurance and responsiveness tests; he had eagerly waited for his friend outside the room where the first part of the exam took place. By the time he got there it was only a few minutes later that the officer at the door had touched his ear piece. Whatever they told him doubled his eyes in size and shape; and almost as quickly as the expression overcame him he told the remaining Cadet's there would be a momentarily delay before the exam continued. With that the officer disappeared in an instant behind to door and left the cadet's minds and mouths to wander. Talk about the cadet who entered and the possibilities of what may have happened to him caught Zack's ears. He knew they were talking about Cloud; Cloud was the one in there; Cloud was the one in trouble.

A fear Zack had never felt before swept over him; a paralyzing fear. One that left him breathless; One that allowed him to hear every loud thud of his beating heart pumping blood through his veins. He swore he could actually hear the blood flowing throughout his body. He stood still for what seemed to be forever before he came back too; another cadet noticing Zack's distant fearful eyes caught his attention by waving a hand rapidly in front of his face. But his attention quickly shifted to the fast approaching sound of feet echoing into the room and closing in on the door to the exam room. Zack's heart seemed to stop as a med team rushed into the room; minutes later emerging with the blonde cadet. Zack pushed through the swarm of cadet's who gawked at the sight of their fellow unconscious cadet and stopped dead in his tracks as his eyes caught sight of his friend. His chest and stomach exposed; his hands lay limply at his sides and head turned to the side. Before he lost sight of them exiting the area Zack jogged to catch them but was stopped short by a firm hand on his shoulder; Zack turned to whomever stopped him a wild and fearful look glazing over his eyes. His superior shook his head and informed Zack that he would have to wait.

After Zack successfully demanded where they were taking Cloud Zack was off; and here he was. Waiting; again.

"I'm here to see Cadet Strife," a low monotone voice caught Zack's ears at the mention of his friends name. Just as Zack turned to inform the newcomer he was shit out of luck the same nurse that turned him away spoke up for him, "I'm sorry Sir but I'm afraid that…."

Zack's brows furrowed and he looked over to the two; what a surprise she sure as hell didn't hesitate to tell me off…; Zack thought bitterly. His eyes fell on the individual standing in front of the nurse. He wasn't very tall; maybe a inch or two off from Cloud. He had a mop of messy brown hair and burning blue eyes; the boy was slender but Zack could tell he was a powerhouse of compact muscle just from his stance and the way his uniform fit him.

"Cadet Heero Yuy," he cut her off swiftly in the same dead tone of voice before repeating his purpose for being there in the first place; this time speaking slower, "I'm here to see Cadet Strife."

The woman frowned before looking down on her charts; Zack's jaw almost fell when he heard her speak, "I'm sorry Sir; I'll take you to see him right away."

Zack leapt from his chair and pointed an accusing finger outraged, "Hold on a minute! Why is he allowed to see Cloud," Zack knew he sounded childish but he didn't care, "He's the same rank as me! What reason is there in allowing him to go in?!"

Zack stopped short as Heero's eyes sideways on his; Zack's own blues narrowing at Heero's cobalt.

Heero turned his focus back on the nurse and motioned for her to lead the way; with a quick nod and short glance at Zack she did so. Zack silently fumed in place as his hands gripped tightly at his sides. _Who the hell is that guy anyway?! _Zack's brow creased as he blinked repeating the cadet's name; _it sounds so familiar…. Heero…Heero….._

It hit him… _Heero;_ Cloud had spoken about him before. Zack felt a strange feeling weighing in his chest and a sickening gut wrenching feeling ripping at his stomach. Something he could faintly remember feeling the first time Ralph had approached them that day on the train…. _Jealously…. No… Protectiveness…Right? But… why…Heero's not a threat.. So .. What is this feeling?_

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Ok Chapter Done! HaZah! Well guys review turn out… Horrible… did get two… but it was two out of almost 60 people… that's depressing… really just hit that little button and write a few words for me please …… Review review review let's aim to hit 40 reviews…. That's only six… that's not a lot to ask for

Well I can't wait to post the next chapter things are really gonna get messy And we'll soon hear the results of the Exams! Let's focus on poor Cloudy a little longer though Ok so you know the drill review!


	13. Chapter 13

"Zackary Fair," a nurse gently spoke as she called the raven hairs' name.

Zack yawned as he stretched his arms high above his head; he lifted his chin from his chest as he did so and sleepily blinked his eyes open. He wasn't exactly sure how long he had been there or when he had fallen asleep. Finishing his yawn and stretch he sighed before standing up and turning his attention to the nurse, "Yeah?"

He really didn't care that he was being short if not borderline rude to the nurse; they had given him hell since he got here. And any patience that he once had, if any really, was completely gone the second they allow Heero to stroll in without any qualms.

The nurse didn't seem to want to humor him either and simply went straight to the point, "You may see Cadet Strife; he's ready to see you."

_Ready to see me… _Zack wasn't sure why the simple statement made a mixture of hurt, anger and relief stir in his gut. He knew relief that he would soon see his friend; and hurt that Cloud felt like he needed time to see him instead of coming to him immediately. But anger; perhaps he was angry that Cloud wished to confide in Heero first instead of him… no… that's jealously isn't it? In all truth the thought was giving him a head ache and he groaned rubbing his temples before he spoke again, "What room is he staying in?"

The nurse nodded before turning on heel, "Follow me." Zack did as he was told and quietly allowed the nurse to lead him to Cloud's room. Zack's eyes lingered in each room as he walked by; his brows pushed together in deep concentration. This wing was reserved for more serious cases; but Cloud had only fainted right? Zack felt the knot in his stomach growing bigger; maybe Cloud really did get a very serious injury. Zack's frown deepened; _we never had any problems with monsters before… Cloud is almost as strong as I am… and he's a lot quicker he shouldn't have had any problems with a behemoth… _

"The next door to your right Cadet," the nurse informed him before walking away. It took Zack a moment to snap out of it and nod a little to late before he strode over to the door. He paused as he put his hand on the knob taking in a deep breath; _it's probably not that serious… Cloud's just dehydrated or something… it's got to be something stupid…_

Zack turned the door knob and quickly wiped the grimace from his face replacing it with his usual carefree smile. Pushing the door open he chirped, "Yo Cloudy you fall asleep during the test; it wasn't that bore…," Zack froze mid-sentence. His heart seemed to skip a beat; the hand still placed on the door knob gripped at it painfully tight. It was a wonder that the knob itself didn't crumble under the pressure of his grip. His free hand balled tightly at his side and the deep frown quickly returned as his eyes narrowed slightly. He could feel his lungs burn and the knot in his stomach rise in his throat. Every muscle in his body tensed as his shoulder squared; he was shocked at the immediate reaction to the sight before him. He really didn't know why he reacted so strongly; _Protectiveness… right that was it… It was his 'protectiveness'. _

Heero sat on the edge of Cloud's bed with his arms wrapped tightly around the blonde. One hand stroked his back while his other played with the blonde strands on the back of his head. He could see Cloud's hand squeeze Heero's shoulders before he muttered a soft 'thank you'.

_What the hell was he thanking him for anyway_; Zack thought bitterly than mentally cursed himself. This guy was just being a friend to Cloud; _a very close friend… _he couldn't help but think again bitterly. The raven hair couldn't believe how irrational he was being; but he didn't care. He 'cared' about Heero putting a comfortable distance between the blonde and himself. He watched Heero nod before releasing his hold of Cloud; at that moment Zack let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding.

Cloud leaned back against the bed wincing slightly as he did before smiling to Zack. Heero's hand however managed to travel with Cloud and slowly begin to fall from his hair to his cheek before giving a reassuring squeeze. Zack watched as when Heero dropped his hand completely that his finger tips brushed against Cloud's neck supplying a light blush from the blonde; he was so intent on setting Heero's hand on fire with his glare he didn't realize that Cloud had been calling out to him. It actually didn't register at all until Heero moved up and exited the room; Zack wasn't sure why but his eyes followed the boy till he saw the door and hear it click shut.

"Zack…," Cloud called for the boy's attention much quieter than normal; he was uneasy the way Zack was glaring down Heero. But it wasn't like he could really explain the situation; he just prayed Zack didn't ask why Heero was allowed in in the first place. He would tell Zack eventually; but right now… He really didn't want Zack to know anything he didn't have to.

"Oi Spike," Zack's mood changed in an instant as he pulled a chair next to the blonde's bed, "How ya feeling?"

Cloud smiled softly, "Much better; I just… fainted I guess. I hope I still passed…"

Zack smiled back just as bright, "Oi; I'm sure you did fine; you 'did' defeat behemoth. And I'm sure your test scores will make up for any points you lost conking out like you did….."

Zack paused for a moment before continuing, "So… what did the doctors say?"

Cloud's eyes widened at the sudden question but he quickly recovered and cast his eyes down at his white sheets, "Exhaustion…," he answered a little too quickly.

"Exhaustion huh," Zack questioned not believing his friend; but he decided not to press the subject further much to Cloud's relief. Rather he was more focused on a brown haired blue eyed cadet, "So that was Heero; the guy you were talking about in the chow hall?"

Cloud tensed back up slightly but quickly relaxed looking over to the raven haired male, "Yeah that's him…," Cloud added softly, "he's a good guy."

Zack quirked a brow, "What's that supposed to mean," Zack spat out before he knew he was saying it. Cloud blinked a little shocked at the sudden venom in Zack's words; _Why did he always get so mad at the mention of Heero…? _

"I mean he's a good guy; what else would I mean," Cloud challenged a bit agitated at Zack's childishness.

Zack's own frustration got the better of him, "Well why the hell was he allowed in here to see you when I couldn't?"

Cloud's eyes filled with pain at Zack's words; he felt a sudden pane of guilt. He didn't think that Zack would be offended; he never even considered it. He was just being selfish; he didn't want anyone to know what really happened. Heero was the only one who knew; and Heero was the only one Cloud would allow to know. So he couldn't risk Zack stumbling in to over hear their conversation. And Heero was the only one who could comfort him in that aspect because he was the only one to know.

_This is becoming far to complicated…_

Zack's irritation grew at his silence and down cast look; he hated that Cloud was now making him feel guilty. Cloud was involuntarily turning the tables on him to make him look like an asshole; or at least feel like one.

"That's not fair Cloud," Zack started lowly, "don't turn this around on me."

Cloud gaped at his friend, "turn this around on _you_…." Sure Cloud knew that Zack had no idea what really happened; or what had gone on but that didn't stop the sudden rage overwhelming him. Zack was his friend; he was supposed to be there for him. He was supposed to welcome him with open arms not give him a tough time because of his new friends. He and Zack were still friends regardless; nothing had changed.

"What do you know Zack! You think I want to be here! There was just something I could only speak with Heero about. Why are you so worried about that anyway! Why do you even care! You're supposed to be my friend; I need you as a friend right now! But all you care about is who came to visit me first?! What is it about Heero that bothers you so much!!"

Zack clutched his fists in his lap before shutting his eyes and shouting without thinking of what he was saying, "Because I was jealous; that's why!"

At the sudden confession the room grew quiet and the air in the room seemed to grow thicker; Zack's eyes shot wide at the blurt of information he himself shocked at the words that spilled from his lips.

Cloud stared in confusion at his friend before repeating the one word that silenced them both, "…J-jealous…?"

Zack flinched as Cloud spoke the simple word and he stood up pulling a envelope out from his pocket and handing it to the blonde, "Here… it's the results. I'm… I'm sorry… I didn't mean to…"

The raven haired man's lips pursed together before he took the blonde in his arms and held him close, "I'm sorry…"

Cloud remained still trying to decipher the situation; his mind racing as well as his unexplained heart. Why was his heart beating so fast? He felt his heart all but stop in his chest as Zack pulled away and placed a short kiss on his forehead.

"Z-Zack…"

"I made it… second class; I didn't read yours," Zack straightened himself out before moving to open the door and take his leave, "I'll visit later.. You'll have to tell me what grade you made…"

With a small sad smile Zack exited the room leaving a slightly dazed Cloud.

Cloud snapped back to reality opening the envelope to look at the results; he scanned the paper and a small smile crossed his features, "We made it…Zack…"

**NAME: STRIFE, CLOUD**

**BLOOD TYPE: AB+**

**BIRTH DATE: 8 - 12**

**HEIGHT: 5ft 6in**

**WEIGHT: 120lbs**

**RANK: Promoted to SOLDIER 2****nd**** Class**

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Ah whats going on now Jealous Zack touchy feely Heero But they made it in SOLDIER…. So now what……..? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?

Thank you so much we made it to 40 reviews! So how about 46? Let's aim 46 YAY! Ok tell me what you guys think….. Things will only get harder for our boys! And now that their in SOLDIER we can indulge in there personal lives as they take leave!! = ) Review lovelys!


	14. Chapter 14

Things had been tense ever since Cloud was allowed to leave the hospital. After a few days of rest Cloud was able to stay back at the barracks. Every since his return he had been acting strangely. Zack thought at first it was just his imagination; things he just hadn't noticed before. But the odd behavior quickly proved to be abnormal.

Cloud would avoid changing in the room. He never really cared that much before and it wasn't like every guy in the damn facility didn't already see their comrades in the buff; they had public showers only for Christ sake.

And the silence….Oh the uncomfortable silence. Cloud would dodge his questions and carefully answer others. He would zone out and seem to just leave his body as his mind trailed elsewhere. Sure Cloud was infamous for being the quiet type; at least to the other recruits; but this was ridiculous. Zack never had to pry so much to get Cloud to speak and it seemed the only reason the boy cared to speak was to avoid further questioning by yours truly. Zack had never seen such a forlorn and distant look to Cloud; it bothered him to no end.

Another thing that sent a red flag waving brightly in his mind was how Cloud now reacted to physical contact. Any time Zack touched Cloud; petting his head or slapping him on the back; the boy would immediately tense. Zack and Cloud always had a touchy feely sort of relationship for friends so the sudden barrier shrouding Cloud worried him.

So the moment he got the chance Zack had questioned him on why he had so suddenly been hospitalized. Of course Cloud played the same charade he had been using lately. Claiming he was fine and it was nothing more than anxiety and physical exhaustion. To some extent Zack knew that Cloud wasn't lying but he wasn't telling the whole truth either. He was no fool; he knew the blonde was hiding something from him. And whether Cloud wanted him to know or not was irrelevant. It obviously concerned the subject of Cloud's health immensely and he would never forgive himself for turning a blind eye to it.

So for the last few days the tension held thick in the air between the two boys; it was nearly suffocating them.

But Cloud's hospital stay wasn't the only thing plaguing the boys minds. If anything it was what happened the day Zack finally got to visit Cloud in the hospital that had both their heads whirling.

Jealously; the word rang clear through Cloud's head every time he looked upon his best friend. For the life of him he couldn't figure out exactly what it was that Zack was jealous about. His immediate reaction had his mind jumping to irrational conclusions on their 'friendship', but he quickly dismissed each one. Cloud simply concluded that the boy was just being over protective again; Zack always wanted to be the one to stand up for Cloud. So Cloud simply decided that Zack thought it was up to him and him alone to protect him. From the beginning it seemed to be Zack's role as they grew up together; so he just felt his position as 'Cloud's Guardian' was threatened… right?

Cloud knew that didn't explain the kiss or the embrace they shared, but that wasn't to out of the ordinary… Cloud had been hurt and Zack was worried so it was a somewhat expected reaction but surprising none the less. The gestures simply were a way of comforting each other. Zack and Cloud had always comforted each other before but for some reason this time it felt different. He couldn't put his finger on it but he knew that something about the way Zack had held him that was a little off. Either way Cloud thought it best not to bring it up to his friend. He didn't want to upset Zack or embarrass him for that matter.

Zack however took Cloud's avoiding of the subject in a completely different light. He was nervous that perhaps Cloud misinterpreted what he was trying to say. He himself had been quite confused as to his own admittance. He knew he was mad at the fact that Heero had seemed to take his place in the hospital, but jealously? Had he not spoken the word himself he would've denied all claims. He was concerned for a friend; a friend he was always there to protect and take care of. So why was he reacting so strangely? Everything seemed so simple; protect each other, Join SOLDIER. Keep a promise made between friends; that much was certain. But the way his heart clawed at his chest when he pulled his lips and arms from Cloud… Were… friends… supposed to feel so attached? The mental thought was quickly extinguished; of course he was just a close friend. He was concerned and he felt his position as Cloud's closest friend was being threatened thus the jealousy… Plain and Simple; no gray area, just black and white. Simple as that. Or at least that's what Zack kept telling himself.

To only make the situation worse were Heero's repeated visits on the blonde. The stoic boy made it a priority to check up on said blonde. What only further continued to provoke the raven was the fact that he knew that his supposed friend and his now considered rival, a rivalry of friendship of course (so he thinks!) were most definitely keeping something from him. Zack knew it had to do with Cloud's hospital stay and why he was there in the first place and thus only continued to drift the two apart. Zack, though he knew it was childish, would ignore the blonde. Not to hurt his feelings but instead just the opposite; he didn't want to lash out on the blonde. Zack had always had a lot of patience and understanding but even he had his limits. This new test of their 'friendship' was at the very edge of said limit and he didn't want to take it out on Cloud when he finally stepped off the edge.

Cloud of course had taken it the other way around and he couldn't help but feel Zack was being a bit selfish. There were things that Cloud just couldn't or rather.. Didn't want to indulge the raven in. The blonde didn't want him to know about what happened and Zack's antics and dismissal only grew to aggravate him. He wanted Zack to understand and not ask questions. Sure he knew that wasn't quite fair and he did feel guilty excluding him but if Heero didn't find him there that night than no one would have known. He would have made sure of it.

Zack shifted uncomfortably on his bunk; his arm thrown over his eyes as he took in a aggravated breath. He hadn't been sleeping well as of late either. He found it rather creepy; to himself at least; that he would find himself watching the blonde sleep. It just seemed to relax him a little, so he took a guilty pleasure of peeking over to his friends bunk every so often. Sighing the boy pulled one leg to him on the mattress bending his knee as his other leg hung from the bunk. Cloud hadn't woken up yet and the pup was both anxious and afraid for the blonde to wake up.

Another agitated sigh left his slightly parted lips as he removed his arm from over his eyes and stared up to the cement ceiling above him. After all the events in the past few weeks and all their struggles they finally made it. They both made it to SOLDIER; just like they had promised. But what would happen now? Soon they would be given new rooms; actual rooms or rather mini apartments compared to the barracks they were tied to at the moment. They would have their own eating area, a living room and their own bedrooms. They would finally have their own personal shower and toilet; which in itself was a gift from above. If there was one thing Zack couldn't stand, and he knew the blonde would humbly agree, was that sharing a toilet and shower with hundreds of other men was no lap of luxury. In fact there were numerous times Zack felt it simply more agreeable to just take a piss outside rather than brave the hazards of the publicly shared bathrooms. And the next best perk was that their beds would be in a separate room from their roommates!

Zack truly did appreciate his privacy and alone time; even though he hardly took advantage of it. But just having the option of a Zack only free space was like a get out of jail card in monopoly! It was a life saver in those desperate situations.

A soft but firm knock sounded against their door precisely three times; as Zack groaned and opened the door he realized he really wished he had the 'get out of jail free' card in his grasp. Zack frowned as he locked eyes with passive cobalt blue. Shifting his weight Zack spoke in a low voice as not to wake Cloud, "He's still asleep."

Zack saw no reason to start small talk; which in itself was a feet. If Zack Fair didn't greet you with a bounce and pep to his step than you knew either something was wrong or he really didn't like you. Heero took it for the latter. He knew Zack didn't care for him and honestly if he were in Zack's position he wouldn't like himself much either. Whether Zack realized it or not Heero 'was' and still 'is' a threat to the raven; at least when it came to regards to the blonde peacefully sleeping on his bunk. Heero was grateful that Zack's rivalry and frustration was misdirected; for it left a chance for him with Cloud. Heero knew the moment he met Cloud that he was someone to cherish and keep safe.

The boy had a determination and drive to him; yet a soft and delicate nature all the same. He was night and day all at once; and Heero knew words could never do any justice in describing the blonde. The brunette himself wasn't entirely sure on his feelings with the blonde. He didn't understand them or know why he had felt them in the first place. He took the only advice he had truly taken to heart; memorized and lived by it. Even though Heero didn't know why he was feeling the things he did Heero did know, however, that he wanted the blonde close to him. He had a sense of pride in comforting and protecting the boy; and even Zack wouldn't step in the way of that.

Sure he was no fool, he knew that the two friend had more than a friendship, at least in matters of the heart. If Zack wanted to he could have the boy all to himself and keep him stashed away from himself alone. Thankfully Zack and Cloud both denied their obvious feelings for each other. Heero had suspected, and was thoroughly correct in thinking that the boy's would try to rationalize everything they had 'felt' for each other.

Heero remained impassive but allowed the faintest of smirks to cross his lips as Zack cocked a brow obviously impatient for Heero to either leave or say something, "It's late."

Zack fought back a growl, it was almost noon sure, but they were on temporary leave for the next few weeks. They didn't have to wake up at odd hours and if the blonde wanted to sleep in that dammit he could damn well sleep in. Instead he locked a glare with the cobalt eyed boy before finally relenting and moving back toward his bed. He left the door open which allowed Heero to move across the room to the blonde's bunk.

Zack peered through the corner of his narrowed eyes as Heero knelt down next to the bed and stroked a few stray locks of blonde from the pale boy's face. He could swear he saw the boy smile but he dismissed that thought almost immediately; this boy smiled for literally no one! He must have been imagining things. Every time Heero was around he was very indifferent; sure he seemed somewhat less menacing around Cloud but his face remained the same. Zack almost thought he saw the boy smile a few times before but quickly concluded it was either his eyes playing tricks on him or Heero lips just twitched. Yes twitched; smiling - unrealistic… twitching… more likely.

Zack turned his focus back to the ceiling as he caught bright blue eyes peering out from behind still drooped and low lids as Cloud stirred from his sleep. He hated how relaxed Cloud was with Heero. He hated how tense he was with him. Really Heero was the only person who could get within a three foot radius of the blonde without getting Cloud tense or uncomfortable. Zack suspected it had to do with the events leading up to and including Cloud's hospital stay but he couldn't be sure.

Regardless; it hurt.

It hurt to see Cloud relax around the other boy and speak so freely. He wanted to desperately for Cloud to confide in him. Instead here he was staring up at the ceiling to avoid glancing at the interaction of the two boys; really this was beyond childish. Oddly enough he didn't care; he wanted to be childish. For Cloud to think so as well because dammit Zack was at a loss of what else to do. What more could he do anyway? How could he get the blonde to focus on him and look up to him and to speak to him and well for fucks sake be his friend again….

Zack grunted to himself; _Childish… and now possessive… racking them up aren't you now pup…;_ Zack couldn't help but scold himself along with using Cloud's infamous nick name for him.

_On that note…_

Zack hopped off the bed and grabbed his shower bag before stepping out of the room without a word. He really didn't feel like seething on his bed burning holes through the ceiling; and sides a shower would help him relax. And god did he need to relax…

--

Back in the room Cloud frowned as he sat up in bed watching Zack leave; with a small sigh he turned to Heero and forced a small smile, "Mornin'."

Heero replied with a hn than tapped the boy's nose with his index finger before letting his arm drop to the bed as he corrected Cloud, "Konnichiwa…"

Cloud blinked, "It's afternoon already?"

Heero only nodded. Cloud took a moment to stretch before rubbing his stiff shoulders, "Are you hungry? I wouldn't mind getting a bite to eat…"

Heero stood and offered a hand to help the blonde up from bed, "Why do you think I'm here."

Cloud chuckled lightly and grabbed Heero's offered hand for assistance; it wasn't that he couldn't get up on his own but some…places… did still hurt and the less effort he needed to put on his muscles the better. Standing and walking still hurt; not nearly as bad and not at all enough to inhibit him the way it had as it did the day of the exams.

Heero took a step towards the door after dropping Cloud's hand and stood with his back towards the blonde as he crossed his arms over his chest and waited. He knew Cloud still felt funny about the marks that were now dull against his pale skin. Cloud didn't want anyone to see; but Heero knew it wasn't just the welts and left over bruising that made Cloud antsy to change in front of others. The blonde didn't want anyone to see him exposed at all. Heero silently wondered if Cloud would ever completely get over his phobia or ever use a public bath again. Luckily with the new rooms they had they would have some more privacy and Cloud wouldn't have to face the anxieties… just yet.

Heero listened as Cloud shuffled behind him grabbing his clothes and quickly changing. Heero unconsciously licked his lips and couldn't fight the thought that urged him to take a peek over his shoulder. Though his body begged for him to he wouldn't allow it; he had more control than that… for now at least.

"I thought we could go off base… There's a Wutai buffet near by. I wouldn't mind some real food."

"Hn. I'll have to agree with you on that… Wutai sounds good…," had Cloud seen the uncharacteristic expression of disgust on Heero's face he would have laughed whole heartedly. Whether Heero realized it or not he didn't have a great range of expressions or emotions for that matter. So the rare occurrences went treasured and on file under 'Heero's emotions Exist File!'… Yeah Cloud didn't think Duo was being very creative with that title but Maxwell had insisted….

The walk to the restaurant was pretty uneventful. The two boys talked briefly on their walk into town but for the most part remained in a comfortable silence. The presence of the other kept Cloud calm and he felt safe; though really a SOLDIER didn't need protecting. But comfort; that was another story. And considering the circumstances… well he didn't want to dwell on that.

"Heero," Cloud spoke softly not bothering to turn his gaze to the other; and though the other made no move to suggest he was listening or paying attention at all he knew the other was completely focused on his words.

"Do you.. Do you think..," Cloud frowned; he felt stupid for asking. He didn't want to feel weak and by asking Heero this he would feel he was being so. Though his reasons were justified it didn't change the big picture, "Never mind."

Heero raised a brow but nodded none the less; he may have known where Cloud was going with that, "The new rooms will be posted tomorrow for those who made it into SOLDIER. You made second class, you'll have to check that tomorrow."

Cloud smiled sadly; yup he hit the nail on the head, "I will… The new living quarters… they accommodate two people per room…"

Heero wasn't sure if Cloud had said it as a question or just reassurance; Cloud had few friends but had racked up quite a few people against him. Of course the blonde had to worry about who he would be sharing a room with. The only people Cloud would wish to room with would be Zack, Heero, or Duo. Short of those few there weren't very many that made it into SOLDIER that he had officially gotten to know.

Once at the buffet the two began to eat; both perhaps a bit too eagerly. After being practically force fed what surely was nothing more than dog food. The two boys shamelessly plowed down half the buffet earning a few strange and frustrated looks from both the restaurant owners and the other customers. (can you really blame them!)

Cloud stretched back pushing his arms out as far as he could, "I really needed that; decent food… God I'm stuffed…"

Heero smirked lightly and nodded in agreement, "Oh kami is right.. I think my stomach's going to burst."

Cloud smiled at the words that seemed to fall from Heero's mouth; few to some but for those who knew Heero he had really just spoken a full paragraph.

"Thank you… Heero," Cloud paused and continued upon noticing a raised brow, "for everything…"

Heero smirked once more, "For a moment there I could've sworn you were trying to insinuate that I was paying for the meal and would be paying."

Cloud laughed softly, "My, my was that a joke Yuy?"

Heero just answered with his usual 'hn' before leaning back, "Cloud."

"hm?"

Heero's smirk never faded, "Omae o Korosu."

Cloud only rolled his eyes before smiling, "Sure you will Heero. Sure you will."

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Hm….. Room changes? Roommates? Who lives with who what happens with what gosh er my brain hurts -_-; I'm very sleepy but I felt terrible for not updating… especially when one of my most dedicated readers was being stalked by fan girls.. I couldn't allow that to happen to you! Anywho.. I again apologize… I've been working.. 70 to 75 hours a week.. Only Sunday is my only day off…sleep? It be late.. I think I do that sleep thing…. I apologize for the lozy chapter.. But we need to open up some fun facts and feelings and happy mr rogers take off that stupid sweater.!!! REVIEW


	15. Chapter 15

This.. Could not be happening. No… it was happening. It was… but it was the last thing that Zack had expected to happen; the last thing he wanted to happen. He felt his stomach turn and his heart beat painfully in his chest. He could feel his jaw slack and his eyes blinking and wide not caring that he looked like a deer caught in the headlights of not a car or truck or even a freaking tank, but caught in front of Shinra's own rocket ship!

He knew he would be upset; had thought about what would happen if this were to occur; but he would have never thought he'd feel what he felt right then and there as he stared at the offending piece of paper in front of him.

Cloud was to be roomed with none other than Heero Yuy himself. Not Zack; not any other random SOLDIER but Heero fucking Yuy him damned self!

Zack gawked at the paper a few moment longing before sent a heated glare to it hoping it would catch a blaze. Why he was so mad he wasn't sure; well more precisely he wasn't sure why he was 'this' upset. Sure it hurt that Cloud confided in Heero more than him lately. And of course it bothered him thinking Cloud might be developing a friendship that might very well replace their's…. Ok… so he was being a little dramatic. Cloud would never completely replace Zack.. Right?

"Hey Zack," just than Cloud decided to make an entrance; he had slept in and Zack hadn't the heart to wake him up. Well, that and he wanted to see the results before Cloud did that way he wouldn't have to worry about his reaction with the blonde around.

Zack let out a quiet breath to steady himself before turning around with his usual cheeky grin scratching the back of his head, "Hey there Cloudy!"

Cloud smiled, "Did we get roomed together," he asked excitedly.

Zack's smile twitched but other than that he held no other obvious reaction, "Nyah; no such luck…"

Zack watched as Cloud's face paled considerably as he stammered, "O-oh.. Um.. W-who than?"

It didn't go unnoticed by Zack but he didn't want to question the boy; even though his conscious was gnawing behind his lips fighting for the words to be blurted out. The raven managed to swallow his question and instead decided to 'relieve' the boy, "Well you did get a room with Heero."

_O.K. That cause' didn't come out 'bitter' at all! Great job Zack, _The raven mentally scolded himself.

If Cloud noticed he didn't say anything about it but he sighed softly and relaxed. Zack watched the blonde's eyes close slowly as he let out the breath he held in his chest and the smile rise on the boy's lips. Needless to say all the anger he had managed to stuff into the pit of his stomach lurched back in his throat. He 'hated' that Cloud was so happy to room with Heero, but still he 'had' asked if they were roomed together first…

So he would never be replaced but still! Why did it bother him so much? Why did his stomach turn? Why did his heart ache? Why, why, why! And you know what else?! He was getting damned tired of asking himself those questions lately!

Zack forced his smile back; the blonde held no ill will. For him to yell or get frustrated with Cloud would be unfair to the both of him; this… jealousy he was feeling was irrational. And what good would come from calling the blonde out on such an irrational emotion? None; it would only push him further apart… Heero had done that effectively enough already. Acting out of his childish instincts would be like aiding Heero taking Cloud away from him and he'd be damned if he'd hand over 'his' blonde….

_Whoa…where did that come from?_

Zack was interrupted from his thoughts when he felt a nudge on his shoulder. He lifted his eyes to catch Cloud's eyes but nearly jumped out of his skin when he realized just how close Cloud was. Cloud stood mere inches from him leaning forward staring intently into Zack's own blue eyes. The raven literally had to crane his neck just so that he and Cloud weren't touching noses.

What scared him was that he didn't seem to mind the idea of pressing their noses together. Not only did he not mind that but he didn't mind that Cloud's breath was brushing over his bottom lip and chin. Actually; the scariest part was the simple fact that it seemed enticing to him.

Even worse! Was he even afraid in the first place? His heart was racing a mile a minute; so he was scared or was it something else?

Narrow pools of blue made him release a breath he didn't realize he was holding, "Zack?"

Zack blinked again snapping out of his musings; god he needed to focus better!

"Uh…Ye-ah," 'real' smooth there Zacky boy… real smooth.

"Are you alright," Cloud asked as he securitized the raven's features clearly concerned about the lack of response his friend was giving him. Sure Zack zoned here and there but not quite to this extent.

Zack reluctantly took a step back so he could breathe a little easier. He sheepishly scratched the back of his head, "Sorry bout' that Cloudy; mind wandered a bit!"

Cloud frowned but rested back on his heels; much to Zack's relief and disappointment. Why he was disappointed or why he was so reluctant he wasn't 'quite' sure, but he was starting to have a good feeling of what exactly it was. He was oblivious sometimes sure; but he wasn't an idiot.

Jealousy; reluctance; disappointment; the simple fact that he wanted to be around Cloud and have Cloud all to himself. They were all sending red flags in his mind and for fuck's sake he knew just knew this was bad.

Was he… in love with Cloud?

It would explain a lot of things; it would explain everything actually. His protectiveness for one. Sure he was always protective but with Cloud it was different. He was never ' that' protective with anyone else. Cloud was a special case that held a piece of Zack's heart that no one else could touch. Plus there was the few.. Ok… numerous occasions he had snuck a few peeks at the blonde; he couldn't' deny that he was attractive.

So was it possible that he really did have feelings for Cloud? More than just friends?

"A bit huh," Cloud teased as he caught Zack before he drifted to far out of reality.

"Yeah a bit…," Zack smiled; _Nyah… we're just really close friends… that's all… really…. Besides I don't want to jeopardize my friendship over some ridiculous mind ramblings… _

Cloud raised a brow but didn't dwell on it, "Well; who'd you get roomed with?"

"Huh?"

Cloud sighed dramatically on purpose before grinning and speaking very 'very' slowly, "Who. Did. You. Get. Roomed. With?"

Zack only scoffed in mock hurt as he folded his arms across his chest and pouted, "I didn't actually look.."

Now this got a blonde brow to dissapear in a mess of spikes, "You… didn't look?"

"Er…," _dammit…, " I forgot already is what I meant to say!" _

"_Right..," Cloud drawled out the word._

_Zack fought a heated blush that nearly made it to his cheeks; it was embarrassing that Cloud caught him red handed! He turned quickly and scanned for his name before quickly stabbing his name on the paper; thus knocking the tip of his finger into the wall and yelping. Bring the injured appendage into his mouth as he whine. _

_Cloud knowing better rolled his eyes, "Calm down Pup." Cloud's eyes fell onto Zack's name and than scanned the name next to Zack's. _

"…_Kunsel…," Cloud repeated the name silently on his lips trying match a face to the name but came up with nothing, " Never heard of him…"_

_Zack blinked pulling his finger from his mouth, "Yeah me neither. Oh well! Hope he's not a ass!" _

_Cloud rolled his eyes, "I worry about him more than you." _

_Zack arched his own brow, "Oh yeah? And why's that?"_

_Cloud chuckled, "That poor guys going to have to listen to you go on and on and on and on… than there's the bouncing in place on the bed…. Or the fact that you sing in showers… quite… loudly…" _

"_Hey," Zack protested, "I've been really good about that!" _

_Cloud rolled his eyes yet again, " Yeah in the public shower Zack; and only after you had every cadet send you death glares." _

_Zack slammed his fist down on his open hand looking up as if he just discovered something, "Oh yeah!" _

_Cloud could only laugh, "You'll be back to your old ways." _

_Zack's grin was full of pride to pull such laughter out of the blonde. They hadn't joked like this in so long; he missed it. He rarely got time alone with Cloud anymore; Heero or Duo or both of the two seemed around him constantly. That and the constant tension and apprehension the two had filtering through the air since the exams was really putting a hurting on the two. _

"_Yeah and I guess Heero will find out just how long it takes you to get that hair to spike like that," Zack knew Cloud's hair was just naturally unmanageable but that never stopped him from teasing the blonde about it. _

_Cloud frowned as he gave the now SOLDIER a small shove, "Don't start with that…" _

_Zack bounced right back to grab Cloud in a head lock and ruffle his hair; the flustered blonde sputtered and fought against Zack's grip half-heartedly. He missed the annoying gesture; though he'd never quite admit that to Zack; he was just to stubborn. _

"_AW! But spike! There's got to be some secret to your amazing gravity defying spikes!!" _

"_Z-Zack! I swear… L-Let go," Cloud spoke between chuckling._

_Deciding to torture the blonde more some other time Zack released him and smiled, "Yeah Yeah spoil my fun." _

_Cloud only huffed as the red on his face slowly began to dissipate, "Come on… We should go pack up the room before you rip all the hair from my head."_

_Zack chuckled the mood dying slightly as he realized he was going to pack just so he and Cloud could part ways. Again; dramatic… They would really only be a few yards away from each other but still! A few yards was still a decent walk away and not to mention opening and closing doors! Zack mentally groaned and nearly chuckled at his own thoughts but knew better too. Cloud would only tease him. _

_-----------_

"_Zack," Cloud nearly growled out; the boy turned only to be smacked in the face with another shirt, "Ever since they stopped checking the room's you've been leaving you stuff EVERYWHERE."_

_Zack grinned as he pulled the cloth away from his face; the grin began drop from his face, "Yeah but you.. Won't have to worry about that for too much longer huh?" _

"_Zack," Cloud's voice was soft; was he that obvious?_

"_I'll be right down the hall remember," Cloud reminded him but this time without any intent to tease him. _

"_Yeah; I know…," Zack perked up, "Maybe you can sneak in on stormy nights like when we were kids!" _

_Zack demonstrated kissy faces and hugs as a mere joke but he smiled genuinely at the surprising blush that the blonde soon sported; he missed those faces to. _

"_You're… something else," Cloud spoke softly as he recomposed himself before turning back to his packing. _

_So things were going to be a little difficult from here on out; but Zack could deal with it. He could deal with a lot when it came to the blonde. _

_----_

_^_^ Hehe… well….. Hm… no appearance by heero… yet haha what will heero think and how will that all go over? And hmm.. Mako injections will happen after they're leave is over.. Gosh how will that affect them? ………………………we'll just have to find out later ! PLEASE REVIEW ^_^ more reviews quicker updates ya know… though I have been really bad lately so I don't blame you guys for the lack of reviews from the last chapter…….. But thank you for those who did review! The few who consistently review I really write these for you guys ^_^ much love dattebayo! Anywho I'll try to keep up a decent speed of updates Forgive me for waits Ja ne'! _


	16. Chapter 16

Cloud let out a sigh of relief as he fell backwards onto his mattress in his new room. The apartments weren't that large but they were definitely a leap from the cold cement barracks they had once had to inhabit. The floors were either tile or a soft carpet. The walls had fresh white paint. He had his own kitchen; bathroom, and living room. Sure he had to share the bedroom but it was large enough for two decent sized dressers and two full sized beds so there was little room to complain. It wasn't as if he wasn't used to sharing a room already anyway.

Cloud's lids edged over his tired eyes. He was just grateful to have been as fortunate as to have been roomed with Heero. He had hoped it would be Zack; or at least a part of him did. Another part was slightly grateful that he wouldn't be rooming with the raven. He still didn't feel comfortable discussing certain topics with the raven, and rooming with him made it fairly difficult to hide his moments of weakness. Thus he had resorted leaving the room or taking his leave with Heero. Which of course had seemed to make Zack get more and more frustrated with him. He was talking less; and he always seemed a little far off. Especially around Heero and Duo. Why the two bothered Zack so much he didn't know; and he really was to afraid to ask.

Cloud could only assume that it was because he had made new friends that Zack was a little upset over the lack of attention. He hadn't meant for it to be like that, but because of what happened…

Cloud's breath hitched. That feeling never seemed to go away. The blonde unconsciously brought his arms tighter around himself as he shivered. How could he ever tell Zack what happened? It was bad enough that Heero had found out; but in the same sense he was grateful. If it weren't for Heero…

This feeling; this repulsive feeling that ate away at every fiber of his being. The voices that echoed through his mind from that night. The pain that erupted just from the thought of what had occurred. He wasn't strong enough alone to chase those feelings away. Heero was someone he could rely on. Confide in; who wouldn't pass judgment or think he was weak.

He couldn't tell Zack; there was just no way. There was no telling what Zack would say or do. He had hidden the fact from him. Had lied even. Would Zack ever forgive him? To lie and hide such a dark secret; he knew Zack would be more than just upset. And knowing this alone; what would he think of him? Would he be repulsed? No… Zack wasn't like that… If anything Cloud had to assume he'd be stuck in one of Zack's infamous comforting bear hugs till his face turned blue.

He knew he should have been more cautious, but he didn't need to be reminded of that. Just like he didn't need to be reminded that things would have turned out differently had Cloud not rejected Zack's help. Heero understood his need to accomplish things on his own without being looked down upon. And he knew that no one could've stayed with him 24/7; what happened happened. There is no changing it; no what if's. No amount of pity would have any effect on the past. And he needed that stability; that driving force to make him move on and not dwell in the past.

Zack; he knew; would be the one to scold him. Tell him things could have; would have been different. He was sure of it. He was sure Zack would let his emotions overwhelm him. His frustration at not being there; his anger at not being able to rip the heads off the culprits He would pity Cloud; pity. He didn't need anymore pity. He didn't need to be reminded that he was weak or foolish.

Cloud could feel the tears start to well in his eyes; the emotional stress along with some lingering physical pain becoming to heavy a reminder for him to push away.

He wasn't weak; and he could do this. He didn't need protection. He didn't need someone to watch over him. He needed a friend; one that believed in him. He had gotten this far; he wouldn't step back now. Nor would he doubt himself. He was SOLDIER. Part of the elite. In time this would pass; these emotions. Perhaps than he could tell Zack; but not now. Not for a very long time; some wounds would take longer to heal. Others; he wasn't sure if they ever would.

A cracked sound of a whimper tore at his throat as his eyes burned even hotter. He knew a rebellious tear had fallen down his cheek but he didn't care to wipe it away. The emotional scars hurt the most; those and the memories. They came to him at random; either in his sleep or triggered without warning throughout his day. He always managed to keep his mask up until he was out of sight. But when he was alone…

Cloud took in a shuddering breath as he tried to satisfy his lungs and calm his breathing. He closed his eyes and tried focusing on pushing the pain back; his raging thoughts. He wasn't sure how long he laid there. The concept of time escaped him; as well as his awareness of his surroundings.

He hadn't heard the door open or shut. Nor did he hear the footsteps approaching the bedroom; the sound shifting closer to the bed he laid on. It wasn't until he physically felt the bed dip next to him for the weight of another body that he was alerted to someone else's presence. And by than it was to late.

To late to hide his tears; his weakness.

He refused to open his eyes; even as he felt a hesitant pair of hands lifting him into a sitting position next to the intruder. The hands slowly lost their grip as the hesitant appendages moved around his body to embrace him; pulling him in closer to the other's body.

Cloud couldn't stop the choked sob as he gripped at the others shirt and quickly buried his head into the others neck as he tried with utter failure to stop the tears from flowing. The other's right arm held Cloud tight to the owners' body as the left slowly began to rub the others back; a little unsure at first but quickly gaining confidence as Cloud's body stopped shaking.

It wasn't until Cloud had managed to dissolve his sobs into silent flowing tears that spoke very softly, "H-Heero?"

"Hn…," Heero's head bowed his lips dangerously close to the side of Cloud's neck as he spoke again, "Are you alright?"

The hot breath against his neck made his eyes nearly flutter shut; he buried his nose closer to the other's hair and inhaled. Heero scent soothed him somehow; and he always smelt so good. It was a relaxing. He took another moment before he finally responded smiling softly, "I.. I think… it'll be ok…"

The blonde rested his head down once more burying himself between Heero's neck and shoulder. His right hand still gripping tightly on the front of the boys shirt; whereas the left found it's way around the brunette's waist. Their upper bodies were pressed firmly against each other as Heero continued to slowly stroke up and down the blonde's back. The blonde hummed contently as the hand continued to sooth his tense muscles. His tears now forgotten as sleep threatened to take hold of him.

The hand on his back saddened halted, "…Cloud…"

Cloud 'hm'd as he felt far to relaxed to give up any more effort. Heero however didn't seemed pleased with the simple response and set his hands on Cloud's shoulders before pushing him back just enough to look at each other face to face. Cloud blinked a little confused as Heero's eyes scanned his features; the hands on his shoulders tightening slightly.

"H-Heero," Cloud asked a little nervously. They were really close. The proximity of their bodies before hadn't occurred to him before but now it was blatantly obvious. Their thighs were pressed together. Their chest a few inches apart and the most important detail; Heero's face was so close to his he literally had to tilt his held back to stop Heero's cobalt eyes from fusing together.

"Hn…," Heero had meant the simple grunt as a question if Cloud had to guess. Cobalt eyes searched the blonde's face for a moment; Cloud himself wanted to squirm under the intent gaze. He caught something strange in Heero's eyes. Something he couldn't identify, but it was something akin to a look he had once caught Zack using with him on a few separate occasions. Regardless he felt strange under the scrutiny and his heart was beating faster in his chest.

The room wasn't to bright; he hadn't bothered to turn the light on and it appeared that neither did Heero. He was glad for that; he knew from the heat radiating off his face that he was blushing.

Cloud bowed his head slightly in attempt to further hide his burning cheeks but his chin was stopped by a loose set of fingers against his chin. They drew his face upright once again to lock eyes with the brunette. This time something else shone through the cobalt orbs. Still unreadable; but more confident and secure.

So soft that Cloud doubted whether or not he really heard it Heero whispered leaning forward to the point were their lips brushed together from the gentle words, "I need to follow.. my emotions.."

Cloud's eyes grew impossibly wide as Heero's lips softly met his. The union surprisingly more gentle than Cloud would have thought possible for the stotic boy. Cloud's heart and mind raced as he felt Heero gently squeeze his shoulder's in the palm of his hands; almost desperately; anxious to get a response out of the blonde.

Cloud allowed his eyes to fall shut. This contact; it was so different. It felt so different from the bruising lips of those men who attacked him. It felt soothing. The gentle squeeze on his shoulder's that urged a response didn't pain him or make him feel pressured. If anything it made his heart warm at just how much Heero needed him to respond. To accept or reject him. It wasn't fair to leave Heero in such a limbo; he had done so much from the blonde already. He deserved an answer; a respond.

It must've taken everything Heero had to be so bold. He was what Duo liked to refer to as emotionally and socially retarded; harsh yes but to a point Cloud understood where the braided boy was coming from. Short of Duo and himself Heero kept to himself. Never bothering to speak with others unless necessary.

It must have taken him so much courage to do this.

The lack of response alerted Heero and slowly the brunette withdrew his lips; his eyes faced down. Cloud could see Heero had taken it as a rejection; it was apparent from the show of a pained emotion swirling in the cobalt depths.

"I'm sorry…," Cloud was amazed how level his voice was. He slowly opened his eyes and held Heero's withdrawing hand from his chin and held it back into place. Heero blinked as he looked back up to catch Cloud's gaze his mouth slightly parted in question.

Cloud's eyes softened; he really wished Heero had exposed what he felt more often. It really was captivating, "Don't be.."

Cloud leaned forward to press his lips against Heero's and the boy almost immediately responded. He took his free hand and tangled his finger's through the soft spikes of Cloud's hair. Cloud himself moved closer to Heero and wound his free arm around Heero's waist playing with the base of his spine.

Heero separated their lips as he pressed his own against the corner of Cloud's mouth and softly against his forehead; allowing it to linger there for a moment. He didn't want to rush into anything; knowing Cloud had accepted was enough. Cloud understood and softly smiled gratefully as he allowed his head to rest against Heero's strong chest. Heero's arms automatically wrapping around the other's small frame as he continued to play with the soft spikes of Clouds hair.

"Thank you," it was something that didn't need to be said but Cloud felt it necessary none the less. Heero brought his face down to rest against the side of Cloud's head allowing a genuine smile cross his lips; something he hadn't truly been able to do in so long.

It wasn't long till the emotionally and physically exhausted blonde fell asleep. His breathing even as Heero felt the boy's chest rise and fall gently brushing against his own. Heero soon felt his own eyes growing heavy. It wasn't so much that he was tired; but the blonde's presence allowed him to feel relaxed and at peace. He carefully settled them back on the bed without waking Cloud.

Cloud himself curled himself closer to Heero's body as the brunette slowly drifted off to sleep.

A couple hours later Cloud stirred from his sleep with a quiet yawn. He blinked his blurry vision away as he opened his eyes. A small smile crossed his features along with a pink blush as he realized how he was positioned against Heero in his sleep.

His leg carelessly thrown over the boy's waist; his arm cross over the slowly rising and falling chest; his head buried between Heero's neck and shoulder; and Heero's own arm protectively wound around his body even in the boy's sleep.

The small smile fell slightly as his eyes locked on Heero's slumbering features before falling back down to stare at the wall in front of him.

All happy thoughts left him as he realized one grave thing. One thing he hadn't taken into account. He closed his eyes and took in a breath. The idea of him liking another male; that didn't really bother him to much. He could accept the fact that Heero was attractive. That he liked the other male. There was something different about Heero that he couldn't pin point from the beginning; this had to be it.. Wasn't it?

But that wasn't what set the blonde's mind on fire. What made him more nervous than even the moment Heero moved in to kiss him.

What would Zack think?

What would Zack do?

What would Zack say?

Would he accept him? Would he be grossed out to find his male friend; male best friend was attracted to another male. And might possibly be in a relationship with someone of the same sex.

Cloud squeezed a little tighter onto Heero as he closed his eyes and tried to calm his worries. Zack would accept him wouldn't he? They were friends for as long as he could remember. Surely Zack would understand….

Zack grinned as he calmed his laughter. About an hour ago his roommate had all but announced his arrival; and since than Zack hadn't remembered the last time he had laughed so much. Kunsel had quite the personality on him. He knew that they would get along just fine; short of Cloud he couldn't have asked for a better roommate.

Zack smiled as he leaned back into his chair; He just hoped that Cloud and Heero didn't hit it off as well as Kunsel and himself did. Maybe if he was lucky Heero and Cloud wouldn't be able to stand living together.

He was broken from his thoughts by the rapid moving hands in front of his face, "Earth to Zack; come in Zack!"

"Heh, sorry zoned out a bit again didn't I."

Kunsel whistled, "That's one way to put it; Anyway I'm going to get some chow want anything while I'm out?"

Zack smiled, "Nah, I'm good. I'll see you when you get back man."

"Suit yourself," Kunsel waved before he disappeared behind the door.

Zack stretched back and set his hands behind his head closing his eyes. Yeah he was sure that Cloud wouldn't be able to stand stick up the ass 24/7. If anything he was probably going crazy with boredom at this moment!

Oh my… hm… didn't expect that little curve ball right? I hope not… well… don't worry the pairings will eventually be Zack/Cloud………BUT a few more hardships wouldn't hurt hm? Sorry about the long wait for an update ^_~ I got a lap top so I'll be able to write on my breaks at work so you won't have to wait nearly as long for updates!! Thank you for being patient --


	17. Chapter 17

Zack groaned as he tossed and turned in his bed for what seemed the thousandth time. No matter what he did he was just.. well bored! Kunsel was currently M.I.A.. And with nothing left to do but wait he decided it would be a good idea to rest up. Had that plan gone through smoothly that is. It had only been about an hour or so but the raven couldn't help but be restless. Questions unanswered on what Cloud was doing at the moment buzzed through his head. More or less how he was fairing with Mr. Stick up the ass Yuy.

Something about that guy just enraged Zack to no end. He was silent and cocky in his opinion; and he couldn't help but feel that he was out to get him one way or the other. Zack knew it was strange to think such things but really he couldn't help but think that something else was running through Heero's mind. That something; he was sure; did not include himself in the picture.

His frown deepened as he let his eyes open to stare at the white ceiling above. He would be damned if anyone were to keep him for his best friend. They had known each other for seemingly forever; so long so that Zack could not and would not want to recall a time they hadn't been together. Cloud was his god damn it.

Zack's eyes minutely widened at that moment before he tossed his sheets back and sat up before swinging his legs over the side and scrubbing his face with his hands in an exasperated gesture. Just what the hell was that last thought? Cloud was his best friend sure but... he couldn't help but think that last thought didn't refer to Cloud simply being "his friend". He dragged his fingers over his face with a groan as he lifted his head and set his chin in his palms. Ok; so he had dwelled on the jealousy thing quite a bit, and yes he was willing to accept that he was a bit jealous of Cloud and Heero's interaction most of the time. This much he knew; but now... he couldn't help but question himself. Was it really just a loss of friendship that made him so jealous? So angry and confused and hurt? Yes hurt.

It pained him to see those two together. Duo aside... Duo didn't seem out to exclude anyone; in fact the boy had noticed him a few times and tried to wave him over but Zack couldn't help but make the invite brief and clipped. He didn't like the way that Heero looked at his friend. He didn't like how close Heero got to his friend. He didn't like how it seemed Heero was out to take Cloud away from him.

Zack shook his head, "Get a grip... The guys not out to steal chocobo head away...," muttering to himself he paused to rethink even that statement. Really thinking was not his friend at the moment.

He was over thinking.

Over thinking everything.

Cloud and himself were friends; best friends. They joined and became SOLDIER together. They would fight together and live together and die together....

Zack chuckled as he scolded himself, "Now you're just being creepy Zack.."

He slapped the sides of his face lightly as he stood up and stretched. He needed to get out and away from his thoughts. More importantly he needed to clear the air between Cloud and himself.

Here he was blaming Heero for everything and right now he had to focus on setting things straight before it continued to get out of hand. Cloud was barely talking to him and they seemed to be falling apart at the seams. Zack was sure if they continued the way they were than he would give Heero more than enough leeway to steal Cloud away from him. He grimaced at the thought. It struck a painful chord in his chest and it took a large amount of effort as well as a drawn out groan to squash the feelings the thought brought on. Strange.

Zack brushed his hands off on his pants in a nervous gesture before dipping for a couple squats before standing confidently as he punched his hand into the opposite palm, "Time to go see what ole' chocobo head is up to!"

On his track to his best friends room Zack couldn't help but feel that tinge of nervousness creep onto him again. Why the hell was he nervous anyway? Sure, Cloud was usually the one who made unexpected visits but Zack had done the same thing every so often too so... what made this time so different?

He assumed it would just be the awkwardness of it being not just Cloud but 'him' as well. Zack rolled his eyes at himself. He was nervous and dare he say near jealous.. nah perhaps just upset still not so much jealous. Perhaps just envy. He wanted to room with the blonde SOLDIER.

"Possessive," Zack muttered under his breath with a little annoyance as he thought; you'd swear I was in love with my best friend of something.....

That stopped Zack in his tracks... or maybe he just stopped because he made it to the door? Coincidence? Whatever...

Zack went to raise his hand to knock but thought with a grin that he'd rather surprise Cloud. Sure 'he' did live there too but Zack really didn't care about upsetting the former by busting in unannounced. Without further thought he cracked open the door quietly; fully intent on scaring the wits from his blonde.... his blonde friend... right...

Zack blinked a few times when he didn't spot the blonde and instead found an empty room. Raising a brow he hesitated but decided that Cloud must be in his room either finishing packing or resting.

His smirk returned full force accompanied by a mischievous thought. He would just sneak in bed if the cadet was asleep! Bout' time he gave Cloudy a heart attack for all the times he crawled into Zack's bed unannounced and scared him half to death.

Trying to repress his evil laughter Zack moved across the room swiftly without a sound easily finding the bedroom door to Cloud's room. He still refused to say "Cloud 'and' Heero's".

The door he thought conveniently wasn't completely shut. So there was little worry of him stirring Cloud from his rest or whatever he was doing.

He froze however when he heard a soft chuckle; one that he missed dearly. It seemed ages since he heard such a light and carefree sound escape his friends' lips; and he closed his eyes to relish it. Willing himself to pause before making an entrance just long enough to hear it just a little longer.

"Hnn...," Heero no doubt... no one else would be able to answer EVERY thing with a simple grunt. "Did I doze off," the question was in a gruff and fogged with remnants of sleep.

...!! Wait Heero?

Cloud had positioned himself to sit against the headboard a little while ago and now had Heero's head laid comfortably in his lap. With a small smile Cloud ruffled Heero's hair playfully unaware that Zack was listening in, "Yeah...," he said a little breathlessly as signs of a blush made it's way known across his cheeks, "I did too... for a little bit."

Zack could hear Heero's own chuckle in response and was amazed by how naturally it came from the boys' throat. He wasn't sure Heero was even capable of such a sound. It still sounded a bit foreign from the other though.

Heero glanced up and caught the blushing cheek with his thumb lightly stroking the warm flesh with a content smile, "That so..?"

Heero paused as he searched Cloud's blue orbs, "Was it a nightmare..," he asked so softly that Zack's ears had to strain to catch it. What the hell would Cloud have nightmare's for anyway?

Cloud shook his head sighing softly, "N-no.. it's not that.."

"Hn...," Heero shifted on the bed before lightly kissing Cloud's forehead; the sound making Zack's eyes widen unsure of whether or not that sound was what he thought it was. He had to get a look at this. He had to know what was going on in there. His eyes took in the sight and widened in what any other situation could have been described as comically.

There they were. In bed; together. The pain ripped as his chest; so Cloud now went to Heero? Was he no longer needed; was he really being replaced? Would Heero now be the one to comfort him? Rage; agony; jealously battled in his heart as it sunk lower and lower till he was sure it fell into his gut. Before he could even breath he heard Cloud speak in a almost child-like whisper, "It's... Zack."

The SOLDIER couldn't move from his spot by the door. He should leave; leave now. He knew it. He shouldn't have seen or listened to any of this. It was damaging and he knew he just needed a little push for this to get out of hand once again. Yet his feet were firmly glued to the floor and his ear alert to every sound coming from the room.

"Zack," Heero questioned a little confused.

Cloud's mouth opened for a second only to close as he thought about what he was going to say. How he was going to rationalize these thoughts and make them comprehensible for Heero to understand. He glared down firmly at the mattress as the words began to sort themselves out.

"I just.. I'm afraid," he let out with a sigh, ".. of what he might think.. about this..," there was a pause, "and.. and about..."

"Cloud...," Heero spoke softly trying to comfort the blonde, ".. I think... I can understand. Everything will work out.. Whether you tell him or not is up to you, and as for this..," Heero leaned in to lightly brush his lips against Cloud's as he spoke; dark blue orbs focused on bright blue, "I think... he'll come to accept it.. even if not right away..," he sealed off his statement with a gentle kiss.

Cloud's own body relaxing as after a short pause he gave in and kissed back enjoying the strain melting off his bones.

"LIKE HELL I WILL!"

The loud shout startled Cloud who all but jumped as Heero's lips parted from his own. Heero on the other hand hadn't moved a muscle but frowned at the loss of lips as his brows dipped in slight agitation. It wasn't until all eyes turned on Zack that he realized what exactly he had just done. He knew he should've left; he knew he shouldn't have kept listening.

His heart was pounding in his ears; his blood was boiling; his heart felt like it was torn into a thousand tiny pieces. He felt like clawing in the darkest corners of the world unable to be reached or seen by anyone; and at the same time wanted to have Heero's head bloodied in his hands to show the world and heed warning.

His emotions were spilling over so quickly that any rationalization was completely gone. He couldn't even stop to think just "why" he was feeling so many things all at once.

"Z-Zack..," Cloud's shocked tone barely reached his ears as his eyes landed on Heero as the former spoke.

"What were you doing outside our bedroom door?"

The flat expression and even tone did little but boost the anger that flared at the others words. Before he could stop himself Zack was across the room in a flash. He quickly grabbed Heero's collar and thrust him into the wall next to the bed, "Where do you get off saying 'Our'?!"

Heero raised an eyebrow as a amused smirk pulled against his lips, "This is Cloud and mine's bedroom."

"That's not what I meant," Zack seethed.

"Than what did you mean?"

"I-I..."

"Zack; stop," Cloud shouted his breathing a little uneven," H-he's... he's my boyfriend!"

Zack's mouth dropped as his eyes forced themselves back to Cloud," You're..what?"

His voice was so soft that even he barely heard it, and he wasn't sure why but he could feel his eyes stinging. Was he crying? Or had he been crying all along? What the fuck was going on?

"Th-this is all just one really bad joke... right?"

Cloud's gaze lowered to the sheets crumpled in his fists as he shook his head, "No.. Zack.. it's not."

Zack took a deep breath as he released Heero; his heart still hammering louder and louder. It was so damn distracting, and the room was to fucking hot.

The raven closed his eyes as he settled his head back as he fought back the tears he knew were going to spill freely. Swallowing the lump in his throat he tried to focus on the other thing that he had heard. He couldn't think about the idea of Cloud and Heero together. Not now. What could be worse anyway? This other thing that they mentioned. It couldn't nearly have been as bad as ... as that.

"You heard that...," Cloud's voice was still soft and now filled with dread.

"I. Heard. Everything," Zack hissed. He didn't want to hurt Cloud. He really didn't; but right now he couldn't really control himself; much less control the tone he used with the blonde.

An audible gulp was heard from Cloud as he paused to clear his throat. Everything he was afraid of. Everything he feared. Losing Zack. He was going to lose him. All because of something so stupid. All because of a lie.

"I'm sorry... b-but.. there are things.. that right now.. I can't...," Cloud's gaze wavered but he moved to focus on Zack as his eyes dropped and they met each others, " that I can't tell you.. not yet... not now."

"But you can tell him," Zack growled out so quickly that Cloud was left at a loss of words.

"Give him time," Heero finally spoke up once more.

Zack clenched his fists together tightly as he pressed his lips into a fine line and ground his teeth to keep him from lashing out any further. He needed to get out of here. He needed to leave. Now.

"Whatever... Congrats Cloudy...," he began to walk away but paused at the door, "I think.. I'm going to need some time too... to think."

Cloud nodded though Zack's back was toward him; his stomach clenched and wound into tight knots.

The moment Zack was outside the door of the apartment he fell back against the door and groaned as he raked his hand over his face. That had not gone anywhere near as well as he planned. The tread to his own room and straight into a burning hot shower was the only mission left of his mind before he would try to sleep this off and think of what he was going to need to do next and say to Cloud to make this right.

But first.. he needed to sort through all of these fucked up emotions swirling in his brain.


	18. Chapter 18

Cloud's heart dropped from his chest as Zack turned to leave. Any movement to stop him weighed down heavily by shame.

Was he wrong? Was he wrong all along; about everything? About Heero. About.. what happened? Was he just going about things the wrong way?

Why...

Why couldn't Zack understand?

He didn't want to keep these things from him. He didn't want to hold it in. Heero was testament enough to that.

And how foolish to shout such a blunt statement like that. To say Heero was his boyfriend?

Zack hadn't approved of Heero as a friend let alone a boyfriend. Why did he say that? Why did it come out so quickly?

He didn't want to see Heero get hurt, nor did he want to see Zack hurt. To be honest he didn't know who would win in a fight and he didn't want to find out; nor did he want any more to be the cause.

Cloud hunched forward as he gripped the blanket tighter in his hands. His knuckles far passed white as they stretched thin over his bones.

Not only did he shove in his face that he was seeing Heero, but to find out your friend was gay on top of that? Was he gay really? He wasn't even completely sure of himself, but regardless of his sexual preference the simple knowledge of him liking someone of the same sex...

Could that have been a trigger to Zack's anger? It wasn't like he knew before. He never really had 'thoughts' about things like that. Not really...

His heart settled to a dull throbbing to match the head ache that seemed to pierce his skull.

Zack must've been disgusted. They've slept in the same bed together before. They've always been close; ever since they met. And physical gestures came naturally. So much so that other people may have commented but both boys just shrugged it off as normal. It was normal. At least to them.

Had Zack thought Cloud had thoughts about him like he thought of Heero now? Did he think that Cloud would try to take advantage of their comfortable physical nature? Would he halt all of there physical contact altogether in fear of Cloud doing something in appropriate?

His mind buzzed with question after question. His hands shaking slightly as he bit down on his lip.

Cloud recalled a time when he 'had' thought things about Zack that he should've never thought.

Zack is a friend. A friend I love.. He's always been there and always will be... Cloud prayed in his mind he hadn't fucked it up.

He wished at that moment that he hadn't been so damned stubborn. That he hadn't refused to have Zack accompany him to the gym for training. Regret not for what happened but the fact that it caused a rift between him and Zack.

He wanted time. Needed time. How long? How long did he need. He hadn't guaranteed by any means that he would be coming back to forgive him or stay friends.

The thought of Zack no longer being there. No longer his friend. No longer his ally.

His heart clenched painfully even more so making it's presence known.

Before he could release the contents of his stomach over the sickening thought he felt Heero's arms move steadily around his form and drawing him close. The hesitance of the gesture that seemed to intimate for the fellow SOLDIER before came naturally.

The blonde threw his arms around Heero grasping the solid form in a firm embrace. One that even Heero wanted to shift under so he could breath better. The brunette kneeled down on the bed to draw Cloud closer to his own body.

The warmth sedated Cloud to a certain point though he still found it hard to relax. Silence remained a constant in what seemed for a eternity before Heero broke it.

"Cloud... Zack won't abandon you're friendship," he paused trying to find a way to word it, "he... cares... about you... perhaps just as much as I do."

Cloud's heart took an unexpected leap at that hopeful statement. Though he wasn't sure if he was flattered or happy to hear that Zack cared about him that much.

"I..I hope your right..," Cloud settled the side of his head down on Heero's shoulder as he stared off to the far wall, "I've... I really hurt him... hiding it from him."

Heero sighed softly and nodded, "I won't lie to you... he made it obvious that it hurt him when you didn't go to him..."

Cloud's eyes stung at that but before he could comment Heero spoke again, "I know it's selfish... but I'm glad.. you come to me instead..."

Cloud took the statement in quiet understanding as he relaxed against Heero a bit more.

"Did you mean that?"

Cloud blinked before sitting back on his heels to get a look at the brunette in question, "Mean?"

Heero's face remained passive as always but his eyes were a bit uncertain; it was strange to see the lack of neutral confidence his eyes usually held.

"I'm your boyfriend."

There it was again. The thing he blurted out without consequence. Without thinking. Without even knowing if it was true himself.

But.. considering all things.. He was attracted to Heero. He could rely on him; but he wouldn't crowd Cloud or think that the blonde needed to depend on him for all things. They kissed.... sure on only a couple of very recent occasions but there was 'something' there. A spark as their lips met. Tender and understanding. Warm and inviting.

So of course... they were technically on dating terms without making it vocally official. Right?

Cloud's cheeks burned a furious red as he had to redirect his eyes and he could swear he saw a small smirk appear on the other's face. Leave it to Heero to find his blushing amusing!

"I.. I kind of just said it.. I didn't.. I wasn't really thinking...," he saw Heero's smirk start to fade and his heart skipped a beat at the misunderstanding, "..N-not to say I don't want to I just... I just said it.. is that.. ok?"

Heero smiled as he reached out to place his forehead against Cloud's and stared evenly into his eyes. Cloud could swear he'd be suffocated by the display of emotion swirling in the usually stoic cobalt depths. No verbal answer was needed and Cloud's blush remained vivid as he smiled softly and relaxed.

"Are you hungry?"

Cloud shook his head slightly; making sure not to break contact.

"Hn.. let's rest a bit and head down to train. It would do you good to release some of that tension."

Cloud snorted but smiled in appreciation, "D-do you think.. I should talk to Zack first?"

Heero tensed for a moment but sighed softly, "He said he needed some time.. It wouldn't do either of you any good to speak with that hot head of his at the moment."

Cloud nodded knowing full well that Heero spoke the truth.

The few times he had seen Zack upset he learned fairly quickly how rash the boy was. Of course.. up until now it had never been directed toward him. So all reason seemed to fly out the window.

"Thank you.. for everything Heero..," Cloud said as they laid back down the pain from just moments earlier dulling to numbness.

"You don't need to thank me Cloud..," Heero spoke softly as he stroked the boy's back to relax him.

Both boy's mind's unsettled with thoughts of Zack; for obvious and entirely different reasons.

Well we had to get a little of what the other two were thinking ne? Well! Sorry it's short!! but I figured this chapter would just be thoughts on cloudy's part mostly and some of heeros my my and these boys need to be put to work soon! And Heero and Cloud are now official....... hm......... *claps hands together* Next chapter may just be there first mission!!!!! ^_~ what do you think? Should I give the boy's their duties? review!! thank you!


	19. Chapter 19

**Cloud shifted quickly on his feet as their captain turned his eyes to the other member's of SOLDIER. They had been standing their for god knows how long as their captain gave them a peep talk of sorts. For the life of him he couldn't understand why the captain didn't just assign them to their groups and skip the banter. Sure this 'was' their first mission but how much morale could you possibly hope to arouse by going on for that long? Seriously; if anything they were grating on the other new member's of SOLDIERS nerves. Not in irritation. No, not in the least. It was their nervousness that the captain was instilling in them. This long speech made it seem like they were marching to their deaths. That the captain was sending them on a suicide mission! Which truly wasn't the case, Cloud had already read the mission briefing and it was a simple guarding mission. Sure there were risks, but with the way the guy was going on you'd swear they were being asked to guard the holy grail against a thousand Ultramechas! Not that those things actually existed… "Alright SOLDIER; good luck and complete your mission with Pride, Dignity, and Honor! The groups will be as follows!"Finally; Cloud thought with a mental sigh and an unconscious roll of the eyes. He instantly perked up as he heard the captain recite all the groups. His boisterous voice bouncing off the cement walls and echoing in his ears. "Zack, Kunsel, Cloud, Heero; you will make up the main squad to protect the transport!"Cloud's eyes instantly widened; of all the people to stick in a group together. He was convinced now that someone had a vendetta against Zack and himself. His eyes instantly moved to spot Zack in the line; he noticed their eyes met for a short moment before Zack turned his gaze stubbornly up front. Of course; still refusing to meet his gaze. The same slight widening of Zack's own eyes becoming distinctly apparent that he too was a bit shocked in the short time their eyes locked on one another. The blonde turned his gaze down and slowly turned his head back to the front; all further commands lost to his ears. It wasn't until Heero stood in front of him till he was broken from his thoughts. One raised brow in question to what was going through the blonde's head was all Heero gave. Cloud recognized it and smiled a little sadly shaking his head to assure Heero it was something they would talk about another time. The silent exchange was understood easily, and it warmed Cloud's heart in a way to know that they could have these quiet and understanding moments. Although; he thought as he turned his gaze on Zack who was animatedly talking to his roommate Kunsel; he did miss the annoying nagging he would receive from Zack when he was keeping something. He nearly scoffed at himself at the thought; first he wanted nothing more than Zack to shut up and now that he was completely silent he couldn't care less what the other said to him. As long as he said something; anything to him. As if that didn't sound desperate. That thought bringing an immediate frown to cross his features and he turned his attention back to Heero. **

**There were other things to worry about other than Zack and himself. **

**"Don't you find it strange they've already given us a mission without the mako injections," it was something that crossed Cloud's mind before he was distracted. **

**Heero gave a typical 'hn' and thought for a moment as he dropped his head. It was a typical gesture for Heero. **

**Cloud had realized within the first couple weeks of knowing Heero. He would always tilt his chin in toward his chest with his arms crossed and close his eyes whenever he needed a pause to think. It was a tricky thing when Heero was sitting down. If Cloud didn't know any better he would've assumed that the brunette nodded off. **

**"Considering the details mako enhancement doesn't seem necessary."**

**Cloud nodded but blinked as he caught that last bit, "Doesn't seem?"**

**The blonde knew that Heero was very precise with his words; so that "doesn't seem" not "isn't" was a little alarming. **

**"There are no details on who we might be going up against. I don't this it would be wise to assume."**

**Cloud hummed in agreement; he knew were Zack standing next to him the raven would've proudly thrust his thumb straight into his chest plate and belt out a "Nothing to worry about with me around chocobo head!" **

**It was kind of nice to hear the truth and not some sugar coated cookie cutter answer. As much as he missed those antics; it was irresponsible to not think ahead. Anything could happen and they all needed to be aware of that. This is SOLDIER; not one of those games they played at home beating each other up with sticks. **

**"Hn. Let's get back and pack. We need to leave early tomorrow morning. We'll need some rest." **

**Cloud nodded with one last glance at Zack; something that didn't go unnoticed by Heero. **

**Cloud huffed as he fell back on his bed with his arms out fanned out. He couldn't help but the conflicted feelings of anxiousness and excitement or the feelings of nervousness and dread. His first mission. Not a heroic or death defying one; but a mission none the less. He was anxious to start. Excited for the experience and that his first mission was with Zack and Heero. Nervous because it was his first time. And dread, because even though he was excited he was with Zack and Heero he was afraid of how the they would all perform on the mission together. **

**Blue orbs curtained by pale lids scrunched at the frustrating thought. After everything they went through; everything they accomplished; something so juvenile was getting between them. Not that walking in on Heero and himself had been an easy pill to swallow, but they were only kissing at most. **

**Pale cheeks tinted rose at the thought. It wasn't like Heero and himself had really done anything like... well... that. They kissed and touched, but Heero was always very careful of noticing when he became uncomfortable. **

**He let his hands fall with a small smack against his face as he groaned into his palms. He wanted to know that Zack didn't hate him; and that eventually he would accept him again. It wasn't like he would invade his privacy or anything. Zack had and will always be his friend. He would respect any of his wished if it meant he would be comfortable again. **

**The more he dwelled on it the more he realized that all the innocent things he did with Zack while growing up may just have given him the wrong idea. When he thought about it Cloud himself wasn't sure if his intentions were off. All those times he sought out Zack; for comfort, acknowledgement, courage. They had spent the night in each others beds and even bathed together when they were little. Technically they showered together as recruits as well; the more recent seeming logically to be the most apt to bother the raven with his new discovery of Cloud's "preference". **

**Cloud had caught himself a few times when he was with Zack. At the time he dismissed it as curiosity, but now he knew he would be lying to himself if he didn't admit he 'was' checking his friend out. Honestly; Zack was a very handsome guy and only a moron wouldn't recognize such an obvious thing. **

**He loved Zack as a friend, and perhaps more.. But with Zack's recent reaction diving any deeper would cost him not only his friendship but a large piece of his own heart. He had to remind himself that they were kids and such things as hormones didn't come into play. Just curiosity and intrigue. **

**As they left for SOLDIER and grew older and hormones finally did start to mess with his head; he also had to take into account that that may have clouded his judgment. Just because he cared for Zack and found him attractive.... **

**This; he thought; wasn't leading anywhere he wanted to go at the moment.**

**"Che. Now I'm just over thinking things...," he mumbled into his hands. **

**"Is it about Zack," he questioned came from out of no where. Heero had already had his bag packed and his uniform laid out so he decided to pay Duo a visit. **

**The blonde hadn't even heard him come in, "I swear you'd be more suited for a Turk."**

**A grin cracked Heero's features in amusement but didn't get swayed from the original conversation, "So was it Zack that bothered you earlier as well?"**

**Cloud just sighed, "We need to focus on the mission." **

**A weight fell to the side of the bed as Heero sat down next to the blonde and gently reached out to peel Cloud's hands from his face. The brunette held the blonde's hands entwining their fingers before dipping down till his breath was crossed against the blonde's lips. **

**"The mission is tomorrow."**

**"I can't get distracted."**

**"You're starting to sound too much like myself," Heero noted with a dry chuckle.**

**"Perhaps," Cloud shrugged hiding a smile.**

**The brunette placed a small kiss against Cloud's nose, "Perhaps... but it would be best to clear your head before a mission."**

**Cloud sighed defeated as he turned his head off to the side, "I just... I don't understand it. Any of it." **

**"Do you love him...Cloud?"**

**The blonde's head snapped back into place as his eyes opened wide, "..Heero?"**

**Cloud knew Heero never beat around the bush but even this he could've never expected.**

**"He cares about you... more than you know..," Heero himself had to close his eyes for a moment, "I just want.. I need to know if you're following your emotions or if..."**

**Cloud felt a deep pain in his heart and a twist of his gut. He wasn't sure whether it was out of guilty or anger. At the moment he assumed it was a combination of both. **

**Guilty that Heero in someway might have been right and anger at him doubting him. He cared deeply for Heero and he would never dream of hurting him or leading him on. He had done so much for him. **

**Heero rose his brow at the low growl and the wicked smirk that crossed the blonde's features and could only gasp in surprise as he felt the blonde push him to his back on the bed and straddle him. A slightly uncomfortable twitch itched up Cloud's spine at the intimate position. He could feel the heat off of Heero's lower body melt into his own skin, but the feeling was far from unpleasant. **

**Heero never did let go of Cloud's wrists so instead the blonde used his weight to pin their wrists against the bed. In the process having his own body fall forward to where their chests brushed as their lungs took in air. **

**"Cloud?" **

**"Heero," Cloud repeated in a teasing tone as he let his lips dip to the brunette's jaw.**

**"What are you..."**

**"Clearing my head before the mission," Cloud's lips sought lower to Heero's pulse and his tongue took an experimental lick before he pinched the skin playfully between his teeth before licking the abused flesh, "I can't have 'you' distracting me."**

**The brunette's eyes fluttered shut as he squeezed gently around Cloud's wrists, "You don't..."**

**"You're the one who said to follow my emotions," Cloud cut him off quickly only to get a snort. **

**The blonde laughed softly against the others neck raising bumps over the skin on Heero's neck before he searched lower to the drip between the brunette's neck and collar bone. His lips brushed against the bone as his tongue tasted. **

**He gave a slow and deliberate movement of his hips and gasped along with Heero at the contact. It was completely different. The feeling of Heero's and his own excitement jolting to life pushed back his restraint in favor of delighting in the sensation one more time. **

**He bit down a little harder over the fabric of Heero's chest as he ground his hips down a little more forcibly a blush beginning to stain his cheeks in an ever deeper tone. **

**Heero's back arched as he whispered Cloud's name out breathless daring to push his hips up to match Cloud's movements. The unexpected movement caused Cloud to moan softly together with Heero as both felt themselves hardening against each other. **

**Cloud tugged his wrists with a soft chuckle as he looked up amused at the flushed expression on his boyfriends face, "I'll need those," he smirked as he gestured to his hands. **

**"Hn..," Heero scoffed as he released the blonde's hands and watched in a state of fascination as they trailed down his sides. The digits dragging over the fabric of his shirt before reaching the edge of Heero's uniform pants. They moved over to the center as they used the fabric's edge as a guide before starting to unbutton the bottom of his shirt and working his way up. After each button Cloud followed the newly exposed skin north just below his fingers as he teased. **

**The skin of Heero's abs taunt and firm under his lips and tentative bites. Reaching the final button Cloud pushed the fabric to either side making sure to allow his skin to gently brush against the surface of Heero's chest. **

**Heero's eyes caught Cloud's own before the blonde smiled and began leading his lips to the brunette's nipple. Heero gasped as Cloud licked around the sensitive bud before lapping it with his tongue. Surprised at the obvious reaction as Heero's hardness jolted and pushed against his own. He felt Heero bury his hand in the mess of his blonde hair as he slowly worked his way to the other side. His hands not pausing either as they worked to remove Heero's pants and boxers. **

**Cloud's mind buzzed with the new feeling. His heart racing and mind shut off. The way he watched as Heero reacted gave him goose bumps. It didn't take but a moment to remove the restrictive material and free Heero's length. Cloud himself pausing in his administrations as a small knot of nervousness finally peaked at the surface. **

**He took a small breath as Heero massaged his scalp with the hand buried in his hair. He knew had he wanted he could say he needed to stop; before or after they already started; and Heero would be ok with it. However, even as the past experiences reared it's ugly head he fought past it. He wanted to erase that memory. He wanted to rid himself of that taste; of those men's moans. He wanted to replace those bad memories with one's he could be happy with. **

**Seeing those men in such pleasure felt like a knife tearing though his intestines, but watching Heero's excitement was arousing and all he wanted was to see more. He 'wanted' to be the one to cause that pleasure and he 'wanted' to watch it. **

**That thought in mind he steeled himself as he brought his hand down to allow his digits to caress the length of Heero's shaft before he shifted himself downward. **

**He looked up to Heero; wanting and needing to see it was Heero who he was giving this pleasure to; as he slowly dragged his tongue from the base of Heero's shaft up to the very tip. His ears perking at the sound of Heero's hiss as the hardened organ received it's most desired attention. **

**Cloud hummed pleased as he took the head in his mouth and moved down as far as he could go without gagging. He moaned at the taste of Heero filling his mouth as he lapped his tongue around and gave a grateful suck. **

**The foul odor and taste of his memory vanished from his mind as he worked his mouth over his boyfriends' length and took in the new taste and sensation. **

**He wasn't being forced. This was all his doing; and he enjoyed and relished every moment. The way Heero moaned and twitch in his mouth. The way Heero's hand would grip for a moment in his hair. In a way he felt as though Heero was able to heal him even further. Forcing the disgust from his mind because of his previous encounter. **

**He could feel his confidence coming back to him. He knew he wasn't healed completely, and understood that he probably would never fully recover. But this act in itself.**

**He wasn't afraid. He wasn't scared. He wasn't hurting or in pain. He was ok. This was ok. **

**The blonde was so enthralled that he hadn't heard Heero's moan or shout of release. **

**Cloud focused back in on reality as the new taste invaded his mouth. Salty but sweet a taste uniquely Heero's. Cloud pulled back and lapped at the head before placing a tiny kiss at the tip smiling contently. **

**He ignored his own painful erection in favor of crawling back up Heero's body to place a kiss against his lips. **

**Heero's arms wound around the blonde as he allowed his tongue to sneak over the bottom of the blonde's as he silently asked for entrance. Cloud moaned softly complying as Heero mapped the inside of his mouth and wrestled his own tongue. **

**The brunette allow his hands to play back and forth over the blonde's back as he pulled his lips back and softly nibbled on Cloud's neck, "May I?"**

**Cloud froze as he felt Heero's hands come to his own uniform jeans. For some reason his discomfort seemed to come back. Sure, when he initiated it was ok; but he wasn't sure he could handle going to much further and giving up control. **

**Heero fought back a frown knowingly as he thought for a brief moment; making sure not to move his hands any lower. He knew this was going to be hard for Cloud; and he wouldn't push him to far. Sex was completely out of the question; that he knew. But there had to be someway...**

**"Do you trust me?" **

**"Huh," Cloud snapped out of his trance and blinked up at Heero, "O-of course I trust you..."**

**Heero tilted his head to the side before patting the Cloud's left outer thigh, "Sit up on the bed and turn around."**

**Cloud grew a little nervous but curious to know what Heero had planned and knowing the brunette would never intentionally hurt him he listened and did as told. He knew he didn't need to tell Heero he wasn't ready for 'that'. **

**Cloud felt Heero sit up and press himself behind him with his legs on either side of Cloud flush against his body. Had he been able to see the confusion written on Cloud's face even Heero would've laughed at the expression. It wasn't until Heero spoke that Cloud understood. **

**"Give me your hands," Cloud complied as he closed his eyes and allowed to do as he wished. **

**Heero used Cloud's hands to move with his own. He guided Cloud's fingers the buttons of his shirt and worked his way down until they together undid every single one before moving down to his uniform pants. **

**Cloud's felt the erratic beating of Heero's heart against his back; the warmth and beating helping him to relax. He felt as ease as Heero guided his own hands and felt his skin crawl with excitement as Heero kissed the back of his neck and spoke softly. **

**"I'll show you.. what I want to do to you..," Heero whispered as he moved Cloud's hands along his instruction. **

**"First... I'll move from your neck to your collar bone," he demonstrated as he trailed Cloud's finger tips delicately over the skin of his neck and to his collar bone and continued. **

**"Across your chest.. making you shiver as I move my lips down your side," he followed his words with Cloud's hands as he guided them with a smile kissing the back of his boyfriends neck. **

**"And though I see you like to tease...," he moved Cloud's hand slowly over his own length; the blonde gasping and arching his hand back and Heero wrapped their fingers around the hard flesh, "I'll be a little more... direct." **

**Cloud moaned as Heero moved their hands over his own length; his hips bucking for more friction every so often. His mind lost in a state of bliss as his stomach tightened; and before long he hadn't even realized when Heero had release his own hands and continued his administrations on his own. **

**The brunette's other hands dropped down to caress the blonde's inner thigh watching in awe at the beauty before him. Cloud's skin flushed and a thin sheet of sweat made his skin glisten and glow. He could understand why anyone would do just about anything to see Cloud like this, but he wanted this to be for his eyes alone. **

**Cloud's hips bucked up and his back arched simultaneously as his mouth opened and a shout released from his throat as he came over his own length and Heero's hand. **

**He blushed brightly only than realizing that Heero had released his own hand in the act. It was a crafty and interesting method. To let Cloud feel in control than take control; fending away any fears in the process. **

**"Beautiful," Heero whispered as he kissed his lover's neck once more before wrapping his arms around Cloud's waist in a comfortable embrace. **

**Cloud relaxed into the hold as he let his lids shut, "I'm not so sure this helped me to be less distracted," he smiled softly as Heero chuckled.**

**"Hn, I suppose not," Heero laid them down on the bed as he pulled Cloud to his chest, "I think it wise to get some rest."**

**"Hn," Cloud mimicked playfully as Heero cracked an eye open to give him a half hearted glare before the blonde buried himself further in the warmth of Heero's body and allowed sleep to take over. **

**He knew they had a long day ahead of them tomorrow. **

**I was going to write the mission in this chapter.. but I need sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep and quite frankly I rather not make you guys wait any longer! This is a DECENT length for a chapter... with the mission it would've easily been another 3000 words... I hope you guys are excited! And as always I'm looking forward to hearing from everyone so let me know what you think! **

**So next chapter ~ Transport mission... will it run smoothly XD yeah probably not! And how will Heero Cloud kunsel and Zack work together? And will something happen to one of the boys? We'll just have to wait and find out ^.^;; Though I'll try NOT to make you guys wait to long! I'll do what I can! thank you for reading and please review~!**


	20. Chapter 20

Hot. Dry. Awkward. Long.

The first day of the mission was little more than hell. The majority of the time nothing but the cracking of the ground beneath the large truck tires and under their boots graced their ears. The air was thick with tension; understandably so for everyone save for Kunsel who remained silent.

Kunsel realized something was very wrong the second they announced the teams. Zack had mentioned Cloud before so he was surprised that when he was announced with Zack and himself that the raven didn't get excited. Didn't he want to spend more time with Cloud?

Kunsel knew he was left out of the loop, but this time he wasn't so sure he would complain. The only thing that bothered him was the unnatural silence that carried on to even Zack. The raven was always smiling, friendly, and granted a bit loud but fun to be around. People gravitated to him; or at least Kunsel would think so anyway. But now... The dead silence and serious expression on his roommates usually ear to ear grinning face was unnerving.

The sun was still high in the sky and they still had a ways to go if they hoped to make good time. Cloud sighed to himself as he took in a dry breath of dusty air. He couldn't help but look over to Zack and frown every so often. Each time it was brief and he assumed it had gone unnoticed. The blonde had never seen his life long friend's jaw set so tight; save for the mention of his father when they had first met. He knew he was still really upset, and even though he knew he's friends reasons were somewhat valid he couldn't help the resentment that twisted in his gut.

It hurt that his friend wouldn't even so much as bat an eye over to him. Even though he was sure if the raven had he would turn several shades of red. Sure Zack didn't really see much of anything but still.. It was embarrassing to be caught in such an intimate moment.

What was worse was that Cloud was left to guard the left front of the vehicle while Zack was left to guard the front right. Leaving Heero and Kunsel both in the rear sections. Thus cutting Cloud from any contact from the other two other than taking glances over his shoulder. Although it did sucked that he couldn't talk to the others and Zack was still unresponsive, at least this way it couldn't get any more awkward. Or at least he hoped not. What happened as they stopped along the road was another problem. Sleeping arrangements and taking turns guarding what ever they were supposed to guard on that damned vehicle.

A mini glare was sent to the truck. They had no idea what they were 'guarding' but with no one interested in taking it for their own this mission had been little more than a endurance test.

"I doubt they have anything on the truck they just want us to drag our asses through the desert," Cloud mumbling trailed off as he realized he had spoken his thoughts aloud.

Zack had quirked an amused brow as he fought the urge to smirk. It was just like Cloud to say something like that.

Zack scowled as he watched the sun begin it's fall from the horizon. They would have to make camp here. He knew it was impossible but he was hoping beyond hope that somehow they would make it a one day trip and not have to stop.

His stomach growled angry at the thought and had he been more relaxed he would've scratched the back of his head sheepishly and groan for some food. He closed his eyes for a moment recalling when he and Cloud had stopped for camp when they began their journey to join SOLDIER. Things had been so different than.

"We'll stop here," Zack announced as the vehicle stopped and everyone began preparations. Heero and Kunsel took the tarp out from the back of the truck and draped it over the vehicle to cloak it while Cloud and Zack worked on setting up camp.

Zack watched curiously as he caught the soft spoken words of the blonde, "Giving up already?"

Zack blinked a bit stunned as he watched the blonde SOLDIER's face fall from a sad smile to a nervous frown. Zack shut his eyes for the second time as he smiled softly to himself while the blonde continued to set up camp.

After everything that had happened. At the very least. Going back to that day and reliving it. He could understand why and quite frankly that's all he wanted too. For things to return to the way they were before. When Cloud came to him and they bickered and joked. When he would act like a hyperactive child and Cloud would get that high and mighty face all just so Zack could tickle him until he burst out laughing in tears. Even though the way things were now.. he probably wouldn't get back to that again.

It wouldn't hurt just to pretend. Just this one time..

"Jesus Cloudy, we've been walking the whole day without a break. I'm starved," This time it came just a little louder than Cloud's own whisper. A small and gentle smile on the raven's face; just as sad as the blonde's before it.

"You put up the tent and I'll start the fire.. Zack," the blonde's hopeful smile softly returned as a small amount of relief made its way into his system and warmed his heart. He never expected Zack to play along

"You know how well that went last time," Zack blushed softly under Cloud's gaze as he scratched the back of his head nervously. He shouldn't be nervous; it was Cloud after all; but... maybe it was just because of everything that happened. It would most certainly explain the strange blush he was sporting.

Cloud chuckled and went to speak before he felt a hand on his shoulder. The blonde watched as Zack's face fell and he frowned before returning to set up the fire. Cloud sighed softly as he smile wavered looking up to Heero who stood over him.

Heero leaned down to speak to Cloud, "I'll take first post. After we eat I'd like you to rest."

Cloud nodded with a small smile before glancing back toward Zack. However any conversation they may have had was cut short to Heero's presence.

The night; for the most part; went on in silence. After the meal it was shortly discussed how the watches would take place. The posts were lined up with Heero first than Kunsel than Zack than Cloud.

Cloud sighed as Heero stood guard a short distance away. He couldn't sleep with his mind racing the way it was. He wasn't sure how to handle the situation or how to approach Zack. At least now he knew that he could, in the absence of Heero, get Zack to talk to him and somehow make amends. That in itself was soothing for him. He was worried Zack would hate or be disgusted with him. It was nice to know that even if things wouldn't be the same between them at least Zack would still be there.

With those thoughts in place it wasn't long until Cloud's restless mind began to relax and the fatigue from the says travel had finally lulled him into sleep.

Kunsel had ended his shift not to long ago as the still groggy raven yawned quietly to himself and rubbed the back of his head. He was still tired and his mind; in even sleep; couldn't take a break from Cloud. He had a rather disturbing... though perhaps he thought disturbing wasn't the word. He wasn't even sure he had a word for it; or even a way to describe it. He was glad in a way that Kunsel had woken him when he did. The raven wasn't quite sure he could've handled anymore stress or confusion. And that 'dream' had been accomplishing the seemingly impossible to further set the rookie SOLDIER on edge.

Sure he had been shocked, confused, even angry when he had seen Heero and Cloud together. But that compared nothing to his dream.

It was the same as that day, but it wasn't Heero who was in the room. No, instead he had walked in without any interference from Heero. He had seen the distraught blonde and sat next to him, wrapping a comforting arm around the slim form only to pull him closer into his side to embrace him. He shushed the blonde and spoke soft gentle and calming words or reassurance.

Nothing about that was strange. He always comforted the blonde whenever Cloud needed him. He had always said he would be there and without a single doubt he always would be. Even with this awkward situation between Cloud, Heero, and himself; he knew in the end that he would always be there even if he didn't approve of Cloud's lifestyle choice.

But that dream ended in more than just comfort. His heart ached as he recalled the image of him pulling Cloud's chin up so he could glance into his eyes. Aching as he remembered the surreal feeling of his lips moving to press against Cloud's own and the sensation that warmed his core as Cloud responded back.

He felt guilty and confused as his heart felt torn. He remembered in his dream actually 'enjoying' that kiss. His mind wondering if that was really how it felt to kiss his best friend in such a way. If Cloud's lips were really that soft; his cheeks really so warm as he blushed under the palm of his hand while he cupped the blondes normally pale cheek. If that was really what the blonde's body felt like pushed against his own...

Ok whoa whoa whoa now Zack; the raven mentally scolded himself. He didn't need to think about this shit. Especially not on a mission.

Even so his rebellious gaze wandered over to Cloud's sleeping form. He missed the peaceful and serene calm that settled on the blonde's face. Even breaths and slight twitching in his hand as he continued to dream; all unmissed by the SOLDIERS eyes. He missed the soft expression on the blonde. It seemed ages since he was able to witness Cloud so relaxed. Things were and still are so tense between them. So much so that he could almost regret even joining SOLDIER.

He knew they had made their dreams a reality, but he couldn't help but to wonder at what cost.

The time passed far to quickly and it didn't seem he slept even a wink before he felt himself being pulled from sleep. A soft caress that soothed the back of his arm was slowly drawing him from his dreaming. The rest not so easily forgotten as the warmth emitted from the gently rubbing comforted him into wanting to sleep that much more.

"Cloud.."

The voice was gentle, soft, and so familiar he couldn't help but grumble, "Na yet...," as he leaned closer to the heat source in front of him.

A low in volume but heart-felt chuckle was released to his ears and instantly Cloud stiffened; now wide awake. He felt the hand still and the laugh die on the others tongue; immediately he regretted the involuntary action.

However, at the same time. How was he supposed to react? This was normal before this not now... right?

Blue eyes cautiously opened and peered at the familiar tanned features of his raven friend, "Za..zack?"

Zack scoffed with a strained smile pulling his hand from the others arm to quickly scratch the back of his head unsure of what else to do with the hand, "The one and only.."

The blonde smiled softly and nodded still speaking in a whisper, "S-Sorry... I just.."

Zack was to quick to cut him off, "It's alright I.. uh... well must have surprised you is all. I should apologize."

Cloud instantly shot him a sarcastic look.

"Whaaaaaaaat? What's that for Cloudy," he whined voice still low. How anyone could manage to pull off whining in a whisper's pitch was quite impressive.

Cloud opened his mouth to comment but quickly shut it as it dawned on him. No affectionate names had been passed between them in so long. No -Y at the end of his name nor was he compared to a chocobo.

...Not that he was complaining about that last one.

Cloud smiled after the slight shock wore off and his features warmed almost as much as his heart, "My shift than huh," before Zack could answer Cloud was standing and ruffling the kneeling man's hair, "get some rest.... pup."

For once Zack didn't try to defend himself or complain against the nickname. Cloud even had to look back after a moment a bit worried that he may have offended his friend. Instead of anger or frustration or annoyance Cloud caught a glimpse of Zack's award winning smiling. The one that was so seldom used. The one that touched his lips only when something truly made him happy, and one he hadn't seen in what had seemed like a life time.

It wasn't till he turned away assuming the raven was going to rest that Cloud felt a hand grasp around his bicep with a soft 'hey Cloud..'. Nor did he realize when he turned just how close the two of them were to each other. Yet for whatever reason neither moved, even with their faces barely inches away. Not even though their bodies were so close they could feel the heat from each other nearly bath them.

Zack wasn't sure why his body felt so hot or understand what exactly was twisting in his gut. Perhaps it was just endearing to be allowed so close to his friend after so long. No he was kidding himself. He 'liked' being close to Cloud.

Cloud's heart pounded against his ribs as the raven appeared to be getting closer. Almost to the point where their lips would join. His breath caught in his throat as Zack stopped and his eyes widened slightly. A few awkward seconds that seemed to stretch on for minutes passed before Zack and Cloud in one movement stepped backward from each other.

"I should..," they bother started in unison only to have a blushing Cloud speak up, "I should stand guard now.. get some rest ok?"

Zack couldn't help but for whatever reason feel slightly disappointed. A whirl wind of emotions and thoughts pulling him towards and away from the likelihood of just what kind of relationship he and Cloud really had.. and what he wanted it to be.

Zack returned to the tent and laid down knowing full well his running thoughts would keep him from sleep.

As Cloud turned to remain guard Heero pulled the blanket tighter to his neck. His fist balled against the fabric that was supposed to provide him with warmth. No blanket could shield him from the cold shiver than passed from his heart through his body as his stomach sank knowingly. He hadn't missed the moment shared between the two. The simple exchange leaving doubt in his heart. At that moment he began to accept what he refused to recognize from the start.

No matter how well his intentions. How much he cared. How well he protected him and allowed Cloud to protect himself. He would never be a replacement to Zack. Whether or not he would clue in the two blind friends of that was a completely different story.


	21. Chapter 21

Zack remembered being hot. His body practically melting under the heat of the sun. The sand threatening to grind the skin off his feet as it shifted uncomfortably in his boots. His lips were dry as his throat. The only taste left on them was the salt was beads of sweat feel from his temple. He was sure that Kunsel, and Heero were experiencing the same thing. He 'knew' Cloud was; he couldn't help but look at the flustered features. For whatever reason, it made his lips and throat feel that much drier.

So why? Why was his mouth moist? His throat was still scratchy, more so worse than before that hadn't changed that much. Why was his body cold, and was he shivering?

He could feel his hair and bangs sticking to his forehead and the sides of his face. Could feel the drip of droplets traveling down the length of his arm. Was he sweating that bad? If he was than god help who ever was near him; the raven would figure he smelt to high hell.

Than again.. he wasn't hot. A cold sweat? A bad dream? Wait... when had they rested?

Zack scrambled his mind for some clarity even though the effort was becoming painful. Hammering even. He remembered Cloud. The first night of the mission. The next day they moved on and they made the supply drop didn't they? They entered the gate; he knew that much.

God why did his head hurt so damn much he wondered. Had they taken rest at the supply drop? Surely they had to have, but who ever gave them the bed he was in had to be some kind of masochist; he might as well have be sleeping on a fricken rock!

The raven moved to open his droopy lids finding it a lot harder than it should have been. God he had such a migraine. Zack couldn't remember getting migraines before. Sure a hefty headache for some of his 'smarter' endeavors. The worst more than likely trying to impress Cloud and his friends with a few tricks by hitting a ramp off of a steep hill with a poor excuse of a snowboard. (The straps hadn't secured his feet only the tops. So when Zack went flying so did the snowboard; in the opposite direction.) Cloud never quite let him live that down...

Speaking of Cloud. Zack pondered where the blonde would be. The room seemed quiet; did they all sleep individually?

Zack's hands slumped to his side to the cold floor underneath him.

Wait.... Floor?

Zack forced his tired eyes open staring blankly into the dark room; trying to allow his eyes to adjust. Just what the hell was going on anywa.....

-------------

Cloud observed the gates ahead; finally in view. They could finally go home after this. The mission would be complete and they could actually 'ride' the damn vehicle instead of walking. Just one more day till a nice warm and comfortable bed.

Cloud's brows furrowed the closer they got to the large gate protecting the base. Something was off. The blonde looked over to Zack and than to Kunsel and finally settled on Heero. It seemed Zack and Kunsel weren't bothered in the slightest keeping at the same pace just desperate to complete the damn mission and get back to Midgar.

Heero himself did little to merit his gut as his face remained completely stotic. He couldn't help himself but to think he wished he smiled more. Heero really did have a wonderful smile. He was sure no one could outshine Zack when his pearly whites were exposed by his shit eating grin but just the same.

Cloud sighed as he tried to release the tension from his shoulders and the pull in his gut. The closer they got the worse it became. The way the guards on the top of the gate carried their weapons was strange, but than again that high up in the desert with this heat... he could understand them not standing stiff at attention with their guns meticulously held at their sides.

Cloud worried his lip for a last few moments as they crept closer to stand just feet from the gates waiting for them to open. The man driving the jeep called in exchanging the nessacary information to prove who they were.

The blonde, now assuming he was delirious or paranoid; perhaps both, thought it was taking much longer than it should have.

Cloud watched in the corner of his eye at the men at the top of the gate as the doors pulled open. Their guns directed right at the group. He felt his stomach drop as they walked through the gates; Cloud needing Zack to whisper over to him to get his legs moving. He knew they shouldn't be going in. Something was very wrong. He knew it; he just knew it. But before he could say a word he felt a harsh blow to the back of his head and dropped forward almost immediately.

He could hear as his vision faded and the sound became almost deafening before starting to drop in volume; Zack cry out for him. But as he felt unconsciousness consume him he knew it didn't matter. He should've spoke up sooner. He could almost hear Heero's mocking phrase in the background echoing in his mind, 'Follow your emotions.'

-----

"Cloud," Zack shouted as realization dawned on him; his head whipping frantically as he tried to look around, "Cloud!"

"Shhhhhh," the noise was harsh and groggy, "too loud.."

Zack sighed in relief as he collapsed backward on the ground, "Kunsel, Heero," he had to bite the last name out, "are they here?"

"With an outburst they that I would've heard you four rooms down," Heero muttered.

At any other moment Cloud might have smiled but this certainly wasn't the time, "Kunsel's still out of it. I don't think he'll be up for a while...."

Zack groaned as he rested his head back trying to allow the throbbing to turn to a dull ache.

"We'll need to wait till he gets up to act. There's no severe injuries to any of us; we should be able to escape this block with little problem."

Zack lolled his head to the side to stare at what he thought was the blur of Heero, "That's great. We bust out to a loud of guy with guns and say 'Hey it's been fun but we gotta go catch ya later!'; I'm sure they won't mind."

Cloud was tempted to reprimand him but was cut off as Heero spoke up, "I never said we were leaving. We need to put out a distress signal to headquarters in Midgar. From there we need to take whatever steps necessary."

Just because I don't want to wait to add more -- which I'm not sure when I have time so I'm cutting it off here for now SORRY guys!! but I figured something's better than nothing I hope at least --- Sorry about these updates it's been crazy but i'm so happy to hear from you guys !! Again sorry it's so short~~


	22. Chapter 22

"We'll need to wait till he gets up to act. There's no severe injuries to any of us; we should be able to escape this block with little problem."

Zack lolled his head to the side to stare at what he thought was the blur of Heero, "That's great. We bust out to a load of guy with guns and say 'Hey it's been fun but we gotta go catch ya later!'; I'm sure they won't mind."

Cloud was tempted to reprimand him but was cut off as Heero spoke up, "I never said we were leaving. We need to put out a distress signal to headquarters in Midgar. From there we need to take whatever steps necessary."

"Take whatever steps necessary huh...," Zack repeated in a low murmur and added a bit sarcastically, "So we escape to set off an alarm and mosey ourselves right back into this cell right? No problem."

Heero smirked at the attitude more amused if nothing else as he dropped his head for a moment crossing his arms, "We only need one person to act; it isn't plausible to escape with all four of us without getting noticed."

Though he hated to make Zack feel degraded Cloud felt it necessary to speak up before the two boys decided to bicker anymore than they already were, "Kunsel's still out cold and we won't know when he'll wake up. We can't wait for him to come around but we're not leaving him here either. He could be out for days and we have no idea who or what these guys plan to do."

Zack gave a short glare in Heero's direction before silently scoffing and pulling his gaze forward as he brought his knees to his chest wrapped his arms around them and plopped his head down, "Ok than. What's the plan?"

The raven himself just wished the damned throbbing in his head would subside. That along with a very obnoxious Heero and his blonde, er Cloud, adding his two cents sure wasn't helping.

Cloud's eyes were set downcast at Zack's question already knowing what Heero had in mind. He didn't approve, not in the least, but Heero had a point no matter what argument he tried to make.

"When the guards come in Heero's going to make a scene," as Cloud spoke Zack raised an eyebrow clearly confused as to what such a quiet guy could possibly fuss about, "We're hoping at that point they'll want to teach Heero a lesson so to speak... so when they take him from the cell he'll take that opportunity to reach a computer and send out a distress signal to Midgar notifying them of the situation at hand."

Zack whistled, "Good luck buddy."

Cloud blinked a bit flustered that Zack wasn't at all grateful that Heero volunteered to risk his neck. He wanted to react harshly but knew better not to. It helped that Heero sensing this placed a calming hand on his shoulder. The muscles slowly relaxing before he shifted his glare to the door.

Heero retracted his hand quickly and scooted closer to the door till he was flush against the wall near the large steel doorframe as footsteps echoed closer to their holding cell. Cloud held his breath as Zack eyes narrowed on the door waiting for whom ever it was to either pass by or come in.

Two voices muffled through the door, or was it three, it was difficult to make out the sounds of their voices as they spoke. Nearly impossible to determine how many the muddy voices belonged to.

The only warning they had was a clank of the keys being shuffled into the lock and a clinking sound as the key was undoubtedly turned. The man who opened the cell had no longer than a short second of air in his lungs as the door screeched open allowing Heero to quickly kick the careless rebels knee. Effectively breaking it with a sickening snap.

Everything moved in a blur as Heero attempted to get a hit in on the figure standing behind the first. But his reach was no match for the butt of the rifle wielded by the other. Had he been a little less lucky and the man more trigger happy he would surely be shot or killed.

The blonde's eyes widened and as soon as his legs recovered he tried to bolt to Heero and grab the rifle out of his hands. In theory he figured even if the guy got a shot off round he'd either miss or get in a bad shot. Either way he'd get Heero out of the immediate danger he put himself in. He knew this plan of his was fool-hearty.

But before he could even get his second step off the floor he felt a strong pair of arms wrap around his chest and tug him back to the ground stopping him instantly in his charge. Zack, as Cloud knew was the only one who could react so quickly, whispered harshly in his ear to stick with their plan. That this was a mission that he needed to calm himself and not react on instinct. Funny he thought that someone so restless as Zack could possibly come out with such a thing.

What bothered him the most was his hyper sensitivity to Zack's body pressed against him, the near painful grip around his body, the breath leaving Zack's mouth and dancing across his skin. It sent strange chills throughout his body. Such a physical reaction he felt was inappropriate at the time but with the adrenaline surging through his veins at the scene occurring before them he figured it couldn't be helped. His entire body was going into Sensory overload he wanted to dart out to save Heero and part of his body wanted to rest against the warmth pressed into him.

"Don't let them see your reaction," Zack whispered harshly as he released Cloud from his grip.

The cold flooded him and Zack's words fell deaf to his ears. They were heard but not registered as Cloud looked upon Heero with widened eyes before shutting them painfully tight and covering his ears from the sound.

Heero grunted as he felt the end of the rifle come back down thankfully hitting his shoulder just missing his skull. The connection made a strange sound upon impact. Heero imagined his collar bone took a decent hit. Quite possibly or rather more than likely the rifle fracturing or splintering the bone, but with the adrenaline running it was impossible to tell.

The brunnette instead of agonizing over the dull throbbing and possible damage caught another strike of the rifle before it connected. Using the momentum of the opposite man he drove the rifle downward causing the man to stumble forward and release his weapon.

By this time a pattern of rushing foot steps was heard making there way toward the cell. Heero had little time to do much else before a set of three rifles was aimed against his one. Dropping the gun aside he finally relented. Quickly surveying his work he couldn't help the sadistic smirk that cross his lips.

Now all that was left was for them to take him out of the cell to another room where they would no doubt want to return the favor. At which time he would have to be patient and wait for the perfect moment. Given there 'defensive capabilities' he gave them 20 paces _maybe _before he managed to snap all their necks.

"Grab him," one of the men barked out as the two hurried to his side to collect him, "Don't try anything I won't hesitate to shoot asshole."

Just as they hauled him to his feet and awaited for the other to give them further command Heero made one error. Something he new immediately he would come to regret. Just a simple gesture, barely that. Heero turned his head to check on Cloud, as a reassurance, just a silent way to say he would be fine; he would take care of this. That small gesture shifted one of the men's attention. Said mans' eyes traveled to the spot Heero looked to.

Heero watched his stomach folding and heart dropping in his gut as he saw the man's eyes rake over the other prisoners; mainly 'his' blonde. He prayed that perhaps he was wrong and forgive him but the man was rather giving that predatory look to Zack or even the still unconscious Kunsel.

But any hope of that deflated as the man licked his lips appreciatively and spoke, "My my, well look at Blondie guys."

Cloud's eyes widened as the opposite guard holding Heero responded, "Yeah, cute kid, what about em'?"

Clouds heart raced as he tried to keep a straight face but panic was quickly welling in him, "Quit goofing around," the third spoke once more, "we need to take care of this jerk off first."

Zack and Heero and even Cloud fought to release a relieved breath but that relief was short lived.

"Aw come on guys. I mean take a look at em'. We just got to keep them alive right? No one said we couldn't have some fun."

"Dude what are you a fucking faggot," the second hissed.

"Fuck you! I'm not a faggot! It's been forever since any of us got any tail and that princess over there could pass for a female. I mean he's pretty for a guy! Take a good look at em'."

The second only shook his head in disgust however the third stepped through the doorway and right in front of Cloud. The blonde only met the others gaze with a shaking glare. His mind haunted by memories of which seemed they could be replayed once more. The man's calloused hand reached to grab a hold of Cloud's chin as he tilted the blonde's face upward a bit forcedly to get the blonde to corporate.

"Don't touch him," Heero's voice came low and dangerous before Zack could even make a move. The raven haired male's heart pounded as he remembered the incident of the train. That creep had that same look in his eyes when he looked at his blonde. He refused to have anyone; anyone; ever look at Cloud like that again. When Heero's voice managed to break the scene's oppressive silence he balled his hands into fists prepared to lunge at the man now touching his Cloud.

The third smirked as he took a brief glance in Heero's direction, "Did I offend you in some way?"

By the way Heero tensed the third knew he hit the mark, "Grab this one two."

The second's mouth widened, "But... you aren't seriously thinking..."

"We'll get these boys to talk; if just merely 'touching' upsets him that much it'll be easy."

The second frowned before throwing a cuff around Heero's wrist and cuffing it to his other. No sooner did he step away to retrieve Cloud to Heero's rage take over. He would not allow them to hurt Cloud. He would not let him go through anything like that ever again. He refused, but he couldn't get in that situation. He couldn't compromise the mission. He couldn't compromise Cloud. He had to stop this here. He had to stop them now before any damage could remotely begin.

The brunette slammed his back against the other just as Cloud was being forced to his feet by the two men. As the blonde fought back Zack quickly rose to drive his own weight into one of the men's legs plowing him over and quickly bringing his fist down to knock the man unconscious.

Heero turned as quickly as he could meanwhile dislocating his arms with only a grunt of pain before flipping them over his head and wrapping the short chain around the seconds throat using it as a choker. The man flailed trying to regain his breath and tear Heero off of him.

It wasn't until the cocking of a gun that both Zack and Heero froze. There stood Cloud held with a gun against his temple. Heero knew, and he cursed himself for not reacting to the other man sooner, that Cloud couldn't react quickly enough in such a shocked state.

The man barked out, "Release him," he turned to Zack, "Get up and both of you move to that corner!"

As the man motioned to the far left corner Heero simply released the now unconscious man from his hold. The man limply sliding to the floor as Heero scowled and followed the order as did Zack with a slight hesitation.

Both Heero and Zack knew Cloud would have to come out of this stupor on his own. There was no way either one of them could get to the blonde without risk of him getting injured or worse case scenario killed.

Cloud, however, remained motionless and stiff. Some type of fear keeping his movements at bay. Zack remained clueless as to why the blonde remained frozen but Heero kept his eyes trained on Cloud's own knowing full well why. Heero cursed himself for not saying something before the mission. For not forcing Cloud to take leave; knowing he needed more time. This was supposed to be a short routine easy mission. No battles; no guns; no hostage situations; just a transport. A simple fucking transport.

"On your knees! Hands on the back of your heads! If you try anything stupid I-," before he could even finish a surprised gasp left the mans lips as he fell forward. In the process releasing the blonde in the promise as he fell to the floor with a thud.

Kunsel smirked at the shocked expressions as Heero and Zack's eyes trained on him. He supported a shocked Cloud by his shoulders, "You all forgot about me huh?"

Zack's smile overtook his gloom and shocked expression in an instant, "Kunsel you fucking sly bastard!" The raven all but bounded over to gather the man in his arms, " I could fucking kiss you!"

Kunsel groaned in protest, "Alright alright off already!"

Kunsel couldn't believe how quickly Zack jumped off of him in favor for turning to Cloud to check if he was alright. Just as Heero was making his way to his feet Zack had both his hands on Cloud's shoulders, "What happened back there Cloud."

Cloud winced at the lack of a nick name knowing that Zack was upset to him freezing up. Understandably so as he knew that his life could've been at any moment forfeit. "I-I'm sorry... I just..."

"We need to move..," Heero spoke up and allowed Cloud to escape Zack's questions. Zack himself all but glared at the interuption and was about to speak up but Heero spoke first, "We need to move 'quickly'. They'll send more once they realize they're men are taking to long. We need to 'move now'."

Zack clenched his teeth but nodded stiffly. Heero lead the way through; checking for guards and motioning the others to move. Cloud wasn't sure how far they had gone. His heart was sounding in his ears and the adrenaline was pumping furiously. Every sound amplified down to the rustling of their clothes as they moved. So loud he was sure a guard would hear and they would all be thrown in cells. Even worse perhaps be separated into various containment rooms to prevent them from escaping again. If that were to happen... if he were alone.. if he..

"Cloud...Cloud," a hushed hiss snapped him out of his panic, "Listen.. Heero's moving on we're moving out. We need to.."

"What do you mean...? Heero," Cloud whispered confused, "Why is Heero staying behind? Heero what.."

Heero quickly made his way to Cloud, "I'll meet up with you I promise. I need to alert headquarters but the more of us are here the harder it will be to accomplish this. I need you to go with the others," Heero broke his own code of conduct on a mission as he brushed Cloud's cheek and gently kissed him softly making sure to keep it brief. "I'll see you soon I promise. I need you to be safe."

Cloud nodded although hesitant. He didn't want to leave him behind but it was true. Remaining covert would be next to impossible if the whole group were to go. He wanted to volunteer himself, tell them all to go, but knew Heero's immediate response. If he froze like that before how would he even remotely be capable of accomplishing this mission himself? He felt powerless and weak all over again and it knotted his stomach. He wanted to protect his friends; didn't want to see Zack or Heero get hurt. Here proving again he could barely protect himself. He wasn't worthy of their care.

Zack adverted his eyes to the display of affection whereas Kunsel's eyes widened in realization.

'So that's what this tensions been all about..,' Kunsel thought to himself.

"Lets go," Kunsel broke the odd atmosphere quickly as everyone began to move.

Getting out of the complex proved easier than they had imagined. Getting a few of the leaders names and with a change of clothes they simply took one of the jeeps and drove right through the front gate. It wasn't very difficult with an excuse to scout the area as ordered by using the names of one of the leaders. Not a question was asked as they sped through the desert. But that did little to settle Cloud's anxious heart. Zack remained quiet, and Kunsel even was at a loss for words. All that they could do now was return back to Midgar and pray that Heero made it out without getting caught.

"He'll be fine," Zack spoke tensely knowing what was on the blonde's mind. He felt terrible that they left Heero behind. He 'is' a fellow SOLDIER after all. But that didn't stop a small part of him wanting Heero not to return. The thought made him feel disgusted with himself but he'd being lying if he said he hadn't had such. As selfish as he was he wanted Cloud to himself; and entertaining the thought of Heero gone no matter how wrong it was would make that possible.

I can't apologize enough to my readers thank you for sticking it through and reading I will try to better my updates again I'm sorry for such a disgusting wait I hope you like it


	23. Chapter 23

Night had cast over them. Cloud had insisted to camp out halfway just in case Heero should happen to manage an escape and catch up. The probability though unluckily was all Cloud had left to hold to. That of course and praying the distress call from the tower had already reached Midgar and they were well on their way with back up.

Zack watched as Cloud's tired gaze went from one horizon to the other. Undoubtedly looking towards Midgar for aircraft to come flying over head or vehicles to tread over. Or looking in the opposite direction to see if perhaps a jeep or any signs of Heero were making their way towards them. Zack, though he almost hated to admit it, was a bit worried about Heero as well. Perhaps less for Cloud's sake and more for the sake of a fellow member of SOLDIER. He continually replayed the events in his mind trying to come up with any other alterative action they could have taken. He should have been left behind he briefly thought. That thought however conjured up that now familiar bitterness as he wondered if this is how Cloud would be had he been the one staying behind. It was a terrible thought, and though inappropriate considering the situation at hand but he couldn't help but wondering if Cloud would have protested the same way should he have chosen to stay. Would he be looking at either horizon praying for his safe return the way he was for Heero right now?

Kunsel nudged him out of his musings for a moment with a small frown, "Can I talk to you for a minute Zack?"

Zack blinked a bit confused but nodded none the less, "Yeah, sure."

Kunsel gestured for him to come around to the other side of the truck and Zack followed quietly. Although he couldn't help but take a peek back at Cloud before he did. The fire they built played off his features striking a chord painfully in his heart. He remembered watching the yellow and oranges hues splayed across his friends features once before. Before SOLDIER; before all this. Before he remembered how peaceful and beautiful Cloud's features had been, but now... The fires light distorted those golden hues to dull bronzes and coppers. The light flickering across his now strained features and the fine lines of worry made more visible by the unflattering flames.

It brought back memories of thier promises to each other. Words of encouragement. Comfort and confidence that they no longer seemed to have with each other. He, at that moment, regretted ever mentioning SOLDIER. Cloud's eyes weren't as vibrant anymore. The sparkle seemed long since gone and the delicate features seemed to be chipped away into an impassive mask as each day went by. Things had changed and he felt he himself was the one to blame. Had only he not so been so selfish... had only he paid more attention; been more understanding.

"Zack," kunsels voice cut through his thoughts. Zack nodded with a nearly silent, "Yeah."

Moving to the other side of the truck with Cloud to far to hear them Kunsel frowned at Zack's expression.

"Listen, Zack," Kunsel started unsure of himself all of a sudden. Was it really his place to say anything? As a friend didn't that give him a reason to interfere? He steeled himself as he studied Zack's worn features, "I know Cloud's taking this hard right now."

At this he saw Zack's jaw tighten though it wasn't entirely noticeable unless you looked for it, "Not saying that we all aren't taking this roughly ya know... but.. Zack he needs you right now. More than ever. I can see where you and Heero have tension... It isn't that hard to miss, and I understand what you might be feeling. As someone who loves him..."

"What are you getting at," Zack cut him off quickly.

Kunsel sighed, "Zack.. just let me finish. You love him.. whether its as a friend, a brother, or whatever.. it's there. I don't know the details but even I can 'see' it. What you decide to do with it is up to you, but right now... Zack.. I think you should try to get past it. Even if just for a short while. I understand Heero and Clou..."

"You don't understand," Zack hissed.

"How could you know? How could anyone know? Growing up we had each other; we always had each other no matter... No matter what," Zack's voice went harsh to a soft whisper. "I'm being selfish...," Zack grit his teeth and looked off to the side at the ground, "All this time I kept comparing.. how stupid. Here I thought Heero was taking him away from me.. when in reality it was my fault."

Kunsel patted Zack's shoulder as he began to walk past him, "I'm going to check the perimeter... you two don't need to worry about watch tonight. I'll get you if I see anything out of the ordinary." With one final pat on his shoulder Zack muttered a small thank you as he let Kunsel walk on to perform the watch.

Running a hand through his sand dusted hair Zack exhaled loudly trying to get that unexplained weight in his chest to dissipate to no avail. What could he say...

Cloud's head turned to face the oncoming footsteps. His eyes following Zack as he finally approached and sat down rather close to Cloud. How long had it been since either one of them was close enough to feel each others warmth? The simple comfort of just thier thighs being close to each other was enough to sooth the strained muscles a bit.

Cloud stole a curious glance from the corner of his eye. He noticed how serious an expression Zack held as he stared into the flames. His eyes unwavering and the light flickered over each taunt muscle stretching over his face and neck. He desperately needed Zack to look at him. To catch him staring like he used to. He felt invisible to Zack now days. He used to always see Zack gaze at him and zoning out; and though embarrassing sometimes it was actually really nice. What used to be something he picked on as one of those weird or sometimes annoying quirks was now something he desperately needed. Almost too quickly his mouth moved before his brain could register he was speaking, "Why can't I catch you looking at me anymore.. Are you really that disgusted...?"

Cloud expected Zack to turn surprised and start babbling on, 'OF COURSE NOT CLOUDY!', he would say and go on in an endless rant about how silly he was being. However, instead of a boisterous reaction he watched as the frown only deepened on Zack's face as he continued to stare into that one spot in the flames. Cloud felt a small pain as he too decided to follow Zack's line of sight and stare into the fire.

A tense silence continued on before finally Zack spoke up, "I'm sorry Cloud."

Cloud had his turn to frown though he didn't look away from the flames. The once strong bark was reduced to nothing but ash and the surface of the wood scorched a coal black. He couldn't help but notice how said it was that in order to keep themselves warm they had to destroy the same thing that once gave them the air they were breathing.

"For what? You don't need to apologize for anything."

"I failed you Cloud; in so many ways. I was so wrapped up and being the hero; wanting to protect you; that I lost sight of things. This entire idea.. all those years of training leading up to today. Do you know how happy you were before? Nothing was more beautiful than your eyes when they lit up Cloud."

"Zack..."

He ignored him, "I don't see that anymore Cloud. Your eyes are still beautiful in their own right; they always have been and always will be.. but... now there's a part of that glow in your eyes that's disappeared, and I can't help but think that its my doing. That's why I can't stare at you like I used to. My heads so mixed up. I don't know what I should or should not do. My heart is saying all these things that make so much sense but my mind isn't getting it as easily. I'm sorry Cloud, I wish it didn't take me so long to realize. Though I haven't always been the brightest out of the two of us," Zack joked with no trace of a smirk or smile.

"Heero, he'll make it out ok, I'm sorry too that I couldn't do anything more. You can't always be the hero huh?"

By now exhaustion and Zack's speech had taken its toll on the blonde. Along with the unknown condition of Heero and not sure what the hell was going to happen in general Cloud was at a loss. He wanted to scream and rip the moon from the sky and burn it in the fire. His shoulders shook as frustrated tears streamed down his face at his own powerlessness. He didn't want to rely on others anymore. He didn't want them to feel responsible for him. He didn't want them to feel responsible for how he felt or what he went through; what he was going through. He couldn't help but feel he wasn't fit for his title. He wasn't fit to save anyone nor even himself for that matter. And he didn't want anyone to feel it necessary to save him. He wanted to lift the burdens on his friends shoulders. He wanted to be the one to tell everyone to move on. To be the one apologizing. Even after all these thoughts and feelings circulated throughout his being he still couldn't help the urge to want to bury his head in Zack's chest. To hold his shoulders painfully tight and cry like he used to when he felt scared or helpless. All these conflicting emotions were sending his head into a frenzy the tears falling freely as he silently sobbed.

Without so much as a sound of warning Cloud felt just that happen. Zack had turned and pulled him into a tight embrace. The blonde's eyes would've widened had he had any energy in his being to react that way; however only tears followed even heavier as he gripped tightly on the raven.

Zack himself buried his head in the blonde's hair as his hand came to caress that spot just above his ear to comfort him. To both of them they felt their bodies put to ease. The familiar scent and warmth; comfort they had so long gone without from each other. Cloud could feel a slight dampness in his hair though it didn't register to him that Zack was crying.

How long the raven wondered. How long have I denied myself this right? Stupid... Stupid.. Stupid.. He scolded as he held Cloud close taking it all in. It wasn't long that he needed to caress Cloud's hair that the boy finally started to stop shaking. And only moments after did his breath even out as sleep won over the blondes frayed nerves.

Zack pulled back just far enough to look down on cloud's sleeping face. The blonde lashes gently pressed against his cheek bones; not at all as plump as when they were kids. Although, even than Cloud didn't have the normal pudgy features of most children. He always was rather thin. His lips parted softly drawing Zack's eyes to them. He couldn't suppress the thought of kissing them. Couldn't, or rather didn't, have the strength to deny it anymore.

"Cloud... I love you."

He knew the words were wasted. Cloud was fast asleep, and he felt it far to late in the game to be saying this. Let alone even if he were to admit it to Cloud, if he were even able to, did he deserve it? No he couldn't think like that. He had so many chances; he messed them all up. He wanted those crystal blue eyes to shine for him again. Wanted that radiant blue glow to outshine his pale features and challenge even the enormous sky.

For now... Just for now. He had to be patient and reestablish the almost lost connection he had with his friend. With the one he now understood held his heart from the very moment he saw his captivating eyes.

Kunsel sighed as he looked toward the horizon. Only time would be able to determine their course. How could such a simple mission be lead so astray? A fluttering sound whipped through the air and at first he mistook it for wind. As he peered more intently to the horizon his heart skipped excitedly in his chest as he recognized a chopper slowly growing larger as it approached from the direction of Midgar. Kunsel all but sprinted toward the truck and nearly lost his footing as he rounded it, "Zack! Cloud! Wake up! Come on!"

Zack jolted up as did Cloud as they tensed on the defensive assuming Kunsel had spotted an enemy. Kunsel almost felt guilty for ruining the serene moment between the two once peacefully sleeping friends. If you could even call them that. He wondered himself how long they had ignored the obvious, but knowing Zack in the short amount of time he wouldn't doubt it went ignored and dumbly rationalized throughout the majority of their lives. He was surprised however that Cloud hadn't picked up on it sooner.

"What's wrong? Did you spot something?"

Kunsel rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "Look to the horizon toward Midgar!"

Zack's smile all but split his face in half as he saw the chopper as he jumped up pumping his fist in the air, "Bout' Time!"

Cloud himself stood brushing himself off with a small but contented smile. He had to believe that things would work out. Heero would be ok. He was going to get the help he needed. They could finally return to base and this mission gone wrong could be an old story they bragged about down the road.

Those comforting thoughts hadn't lasted for long after chopper flew over head and raced toward the fallen base. Who was to say, after all, that Heero would have been able to fend them off for that long. He was able to send out a distress signal but how long after he sent the signal out did he have to wait? Could they really reach him in time?

Zack almost sensing Cloud's demeanor change so quickly from hopeful to helpless in just a matter of minutes. Zack did the only thing he could do at that moment. He stepped behind Cloud and eveloped the blonde in his arms resting the side of his head against Cloud's.

"Relax, he'll make it out of there with barely a scratch. Have a little faith in the guy."

Cloud downcast his eyes almost ashamed to doubt Heero but at the same time unable to shake the uneasiness that anchored root into his stomach. He closed his eyes and leaned against the warm body at his back, "You're right..."

I apologize I planned on extending this but I was up really early in the morning after work to write this ~ I wanted to make it at least 4000 words but I only made it half way there ~ I have to run some errands before work so I haven't the time to continue ~ many apologies again I know how many people are looking forward to these chapters and I haven't been able to deliver ~ I'll try to write more after this weekend ~ I usually work sat sun mon tues 16-18 hour shifts so it's nearly impossible for me to do anything during that time ~ Thus the painfully slow updates. ~ I apologize again and I'm thankful everyone is still excited to see the chapters to come ~ It means a lot to me! Thank you ~


	24. Chapter 24

"I personally requested to see you all in person. I felt it the most appropriate way to express my gratitude as well as the gratitude of your comrades and Shinra Company itself. Although fresh from the academy and new to SOLDIER you were able to think and react quickly to the situation at hand and bravely overcome outstanding circumstances. I stress how grateful those are of the lives you most certainly saved and the prevention of damage to the company as well as the consequential damage that would've befallen our Society."

Cloud flinched only barely as they were praised. His heart stung as he recalled his so called act of bravery. He hadn't done anything. He was completely useless. He, if anything, put them all in even more danger. He alone nearly cost them their lives by his lack of action. Cloud had jeopardized everything by freezing. Not only that but he couldn't do anything to help his comrades. He couldn't do anything to save Heero.

With a warm smile the director glanced around at the young men in front of him, "Young men like you are what we need in SOLDIER. No, what all of Shinra Company needs. Intelligence, courage, proper judgment, and loyalty. I'm very impressed."

Zack glanced at Cloud as the blonde lowered his head at the spur of compliments. Even Kunsel glanced over to Cloud than gave Zack a worried look. Zack knew how Cloud felt. They all felt the same. Heero had taken charge and sent that distress signal while they fled. Heero had stayed behind and did what the others could not. Truly Heero should be the only one in this room receiving the honor of the directors praise. As much as it stung to admit it Heero had saved the day; had saved them; and they did little if anything to contribute to his act of heroism.

"I will personally see to it to reward each of you for such a commendable job. "

As they exited the directors office Kunsel walked ahead as Zack trailed behind just enough to offer a hand to Cloud's shoulder, "Come see me later. Ok, Cloud."

The blonde knew it was less of a request on Zack's part and more like an order. However, he was at least considerate enough to 'request' him to go to his room rather than bombard on Cloud's. If the mood were any lighter the blonde would've at least cracked a small grin. Zack will always be Zack no matter how hard to tries other wise.

Cloud nodded, a gesture simple enough to allow Zack the go ahead. Had Cloud continued his stubborn silence he was sure Zack would've tagged along eyebrow twitching all along the way. Cloud watched as Zack gave a small smile and moved on ahead with a backward wave, "I'll see ya soon Chocobo Head, don't keep me waitin' long!"

The false cheer was almost relaxing, almost. He reminded him of their time together training back in Gongaga. Now things back than seemed so trivial. Zack would adorn that fake cheer whenever he knew something was bothering him. It would always relax him. Always make him feel like he too could move on to another trial. But this... this was different. This wasn't boys training with dreams of SOLDIER. This wasn't the woods they grew up in or the wild animals they were accustomed to handling. Their mothers didn't have miracle curing powers with a strong antiseptic and a packet of gauze waiting for them. Kisses didn't make good replacements for medical treatments either. Not Moms, not Zack's mothers... not Zacks...

Cloud hopped along the rocks of the shallow stream following Zack on their way to training. They usually always came right back here, where they made that promise with each other, to train. Sides it was nice to have some water near by to cool them off when they needed. And they could always horse around afterwards. Which shamefully was Cloud's favorite part. He loved to see his friends goofy grin and heart felt laughter. It always brightened him up even just a little.

"Just you watch, we'll make it Cloud! Get ready," Zack shouted as he jumped backward off one of the rocks he was hopping on. Cloud not expecting the sudden attack looked up just quick enough to see an enlarging figure of Zack approaching fast. Cloud had barely a chance to react as he tried to jump back to avoid the onslaught only to misstep with a cut off and butchered version of warning.

To Zack it was comical the way Cloud's blue eyes went wide in horror of his leaping form just before he made the sloppy tackle. Granted he expected Cloud to jump back and for him to regain his footing but this worked out just as well. It was totally worth it to see the chocobo's face in that one instant. And was that a yelp of surprise? So undignified he'd make sure to pick on him extra good for that one. SOLDIER's most certainly didn't yelp after all.

As Zack crashed into Cloud they fell back into the shallow water. What Zack hadn't accounted for was the next sound following that amusing yelp, the gasp and hiss of pain following that awful cracking like sound.

"Cloud?"

The blonde quickly grasped his arm the moment Zack lifted his weight to his own arms and off of him. "I'm fine," Cloud chokes out as tears gather at the outside corners of his eyes. Really he was still young; so crying wasn't nearly as taboo as it would later become in the coming years. At that time he sniffed as he looked down at his elbow. The area just below it had turned a nasty red from hitting the ground below, but short of a few scrapes and a couple beads of blood there wasn't too much damage.

Zack at that time treated it as if he himself had watched his arm bent completely backward in the wrong direction and spout endless streams of blood.

"Holy Gaia Cloud ! I'm sorry I-I didn't think you'd get hurt, I just...," he fumbled over his speech as he tried to assess just what he needed to do.

"I-I'm fine! Jus help me up already," his lip quivered slightly but other than that he managed to compose himself.

Zack nodded dumbly before jumping to his feet ignoring his own scraped knees as he extended a hand to lift his 'injured' friend up to his feet. It wasn't until Cloud stood that he winced and used his uninjured hand to reach down to touch his hip. Apparently he must've hit that too on his way down, but it didn't hurt as bad. Lifting the side of his shirt he grimaced at the newly formed bruise crawling along his hip.

"Now, how am I supposed to explain this one," the blonde pouted, "Ma's gonna be upset..."

Zack pointed his finger up at Cloud accusingly, "H-Hey! Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey! Not fair there chocobo head! You let your guard down! You gotta be alert all the time to be SOLDIER. Expect the unexpected! Don't go blaming me cause you got comfortable."

Zack couldn't help but let the once funny situation begin to upset him. No not just upset him. He felt anger rising, "Imagine if I wasn't me! I mean you could've really been attacked! You should be paying attention at all times. Even when we're playing around! What if.. What if!"

Cloud didn't need him to finish. He flinched under the scrutiny. He understood he more than likely wasn't cut out to do this. He was told all the time in Nibelheim how stupidly foolish he was. Just a brat with a dream. Now, now he gone and worried Zack. He knew without saying it the reason why Zack got upset was because his mind wandered to his father. To him not paying mind and thus being... losing him. Thus losing him.

Cloud hung his head, "You won't lose me."

"What," Zack's tense shoulders loosened as his misplaced anger ebbed away.

" I-I'm sorry. I'll pay more attention from now on. I'm sorry."

The sniffling started up just as Cloud tried to look to the side his head still bowed. But the tears that dropped didn't go unseen by Zack and he immediately felt guilt grasp hold of his heart.

" Cloud..."

The raven haired boy moved forward and gently grasped Cloud's hurt arm before he could swipe away his tears. He brought his lips down to cover the scrape and concentrated as hard as he could on releasing the same miracle relief a mothers kiss would.

"Z-Zack," Cloud sniffled for the last time before looking at his friend in slight embarrassment. Though that slight embarrassment was nothing compared to the blush that stole his pale features as he watched his friend slip to his knees.

"What are you...Zack," Cloud whispered in question as he watched. His cheeks continuing to brighten even more.

Zack lifted the corner of Cloud's shirt and brushed his free fingers over the blooming bruise. He touched his lips gently to the tender flesh ignoring the soft grasp from his friend. Zack leaned his forehead against Cloud's side as he sighed against the throbbing area, "I'm sorry."

Zack rose to his feet with a smile plastered on his face, "Lets take a break today! One day off wouldn't hurt, I'll get my mom to make us a big feast whadda ya say eh chocobo head?"

Even than that fake smile always seemed to make things a little bit better.

"Are you alright Cloud," the voice from behind shook him from his minds wanderings. The blonde quickly turned but couldn't exactly look the individual in the eyes. Instead he focused on the cast arm hanging limply on a sling. The hand itself was a ghastly shade of purple right before it disappeared under the cast.

Almost as if reading his thoughts that voice spoke up once more, "Cloud... look at me."

Cloud stubbornly closed his eyes and inhaled, "It's my fault."

The blonde could hear the soft approaching steps and the soft rustle of fabric indicating movement. He was completely still up until a finger looped just below his chin to lift his gaze upward. He couldn't help but allow his eyes to slowly peek open. Nor could he help but take in every damage, or cut. He knew it could've been far worse. There was a wound he knew hidden under his hair on the side of his head was stapled. He could see the bandages holding his skin together along his neck to prevent a scar. The still slightly swollen lip and the cut reaching the corner of the bottom.

He bit the inside of his lip and a frustration flared inside his stomach. His negligence and inabilities were responsible. Had even the slightest of circumstances been different, if he wasn't so afraid. Had he been more cautious from the beginning he would've never froze the way he did. Heero was hurt, he could've been killed. All because he relied on him in the same way he had always relied on Zack. He was... He was...

"Cloud," the voice was sharp, "I don't blame you. Stop berating yourself."

"But Heero... I just...," Cloud wasn't really sure what he wanted to say. What he could say.

The blonde looked over at the directors door and frowned before grabbing hold of Heero's good hand and silently commanding him to follow. Cloud quickly turned the corner and opened the door to the nearest restroom and pulled Heero inside. The brunette completely perplexed as Cloud gave a quick glance around before locking the door behind him and stood mere inches from him both hands on either side of him against the door.

"Cloud...?"

The blonde could almost chuckle at the unsure tone Heero used. It wasn't like him to sport such a surprised expression. At any other time it would've been far to humorous to not laugh at. It kind of reminded him of Zack when ever he sported that lost puppy dog look. Nothing was quite as funny.

"Cloud," Heero grew more suspicious of the weird behavior by the second.

The blonde blushed looking off to the side before letting his arms slide down the door a ways just level to the area above Heero's hips, "I just... I knew I couldn't do this in case anyone saw."

Heero swallowed not really sure of what to make of the whole thing. Here he was with Cloud pinned against the door of a bathroom in the Shinra Building just around the corner from the directors office.

Cloud let out a soft sigh as he focused on his target and closed his eyes; Heero himself watching intently to see just what the blonde was up to. Slowly Cloud moved forward a soft hum of apology on his lips as he pursed them and lightly pressed them against Heero's cast.

Heero let out a breath he didn't even realize he was holding.

Cloud back away a bit letting his hands fall back to his sides before standing upright once again not exactly looking the brunette in the eye.

"When.. When Zack and I were younger.. If we got hurt."

Heero nodded his understanding though he couldn't help the twinge of jealously at the thought of Zack's lips anywhere on Cloud, injury or not.

A hand came to caress his cheek brought him from his brooding just as Cloud kissed the side of his head, the corner of his lip, and any other spot with a gash or scratch before settling a final one against the brunette's forehead. Without pulling back Cloud once again whispered an apology only to have Heero quickly reach up to grab Cloud's hand. Forceful, but not nearly enough to hurt him.

"No more apologies Cloud. I made my own choices of my own free will. I followed the only way I knew how..."

Heero hesitated not really wanting to know the answer but knowing it needed to be said, "What would you have wished to be different? The result would be the same either way."

"I could've lost you.."

"Than what do you propose should have been done," he questioned quickly not giving time for Cloud to think up an answer.

"I should've stayed behind. I should've been more prepared. I shouldn't have froze. You shouldn't have been the one... "

"Than what if I lost you," Heero asked quietly this time his eyes flickered away from Cloud for a moment before returning to gauge his reaction to the next question.

"What if you left Zack behind."

The way Cloud's eyes widened in realization pained him in a way, "But.. I.."

"Should Zack have stayed behind?"

"No!"

"So it's ok that I had."

"No! That's not..!"

"Why?"

Cloud grew more frustrated as he spat out responses the clipped questions eating away at his thought process and forcing him to speak directly without really realizing what he was doing.

"Because I care about you!"

"Than why not Zack?"

"Because I lo...," Cloud's voice trailed off his breath in short pants as he cursed, "That's not ... I didn't..."

Heero felt his heart sink to what he already knew was the truth. He knew it since he met Cloud. It was obvious during the interaction the two had shared even when they were fighting. He should've known better than to tamper around where he didn't belong. In the long run he supposed that this did open Cloud's eyes. If he was happy.. if he was happy it was ok. Thus why he even had to ask the inevitable in the first place. Even if he wasn't quite fair with the way he went about it.

It was made obvious when Cloud opened up to Heero that he so desperately wanted to be pouring his heart out to Zack. The fear itself of revealing such troublesome events held him back, and it was only because Heero had found him that way that Cloud spoke of it. Even since than he watched as Cloud's gaze only found Zack's. Even at the worst time; even when Cloud had nothing to be sorry for all the blonde had wanted was to be forgiven. He knew that Zack and Cloud shared a bond he couldn't sever, but he thought that perhaps..

No. Heero knew he was blindsided by his emotions.

Heero smiled sadly reaching up to lightly run his thumb over Cloud's cheek as he held the side of his face in his palm.

"I don't regret following my emotions," he leaned in to steal one last kiss from Cloud. His lips pressing a bit more desperately than he had intended but he knew this was his last.

Cloud felt the guilt pain him as he kissed the brunette back after the initial shock. What was this all of a sudden? Why? Why did Heero.. Why now? Why right now? And why... why did it always seem he was hurting the ones he cared for the most?

Heero broke away ever so slightly to rest his forehead against the blondes letting the hand once cupping the others jaw to trail through the blonde strands to take hold of the back of his head and press him softly foreword.

"Cloud," Heero called for him but Cloud's throat felt like it was closing up.

How could he lead Heero so astray? Was he selfish for wanting to keep him knowing what he felt for Zack? Was he wrong for needing Heero to help him through but wanting Zack all the same? He was terrible. Selfish. Self-absorbed. He hadn't thought about what he really wanted. He just went along with things as they progressed never questioning how he would affect the others around him. He didn't deserve them. He didnt...

"Cloud, Look at me," Heero demanded in a clipped tone just short of a whisper.

Cloud's blue eyes opened to catch Heero's own cobalt orbs. The short breaths and quivering of his bottom lip were difficult to control. His frustration at himself eating away at his conscious.

"Cloud," Heero's eyes searched the blonde's as if seeking to make sure he was listening clearly trying to confirm that he was heard and understood.

"I don't regret following my emotions. Don't regret yours."

A statement and command all in one Cloud's protest fell short once Heero pulled his lips to the blonde's forehead.

"You have someone.. you need to talk to," he spoke against the other's forehead. His lips lightly brushing against the warm skin. Cloud shivered slightly at the feel of Heero being so close, the feel of his warm breath against his heated forehead, the hand in his hair. Cloud tried to memorize it as quickly as he could not realizing he had closed his eyes.

All to soon the hand left his hair, the body's heat abandoned him and he heard the faint click of the door being unlocked. Before Heero walked out he turned one last time to see Cloud standing there rigid. He wanted to hold him. Comfort him. Tell him it would work out. That he was strong enough; he proved that numerous times whether he realized it or not. The throbbing of his heart ached in his chest but he knew he hadn't regretted following his emotions before and he knew that he wouldn't regret following them now. He wasn't the one Cloud needed; no matter how much he wished at that moment he would suffice as a substitute.

"Don't keep him waiting; you have a lot to talk about. I'll see you later ...Cloud." He left the last words unspoken as they rang throughout his mind. _'Aishiteru' _

The blonde wasn't sure how long he had stood frozen in place. Nor could he really tell when exactly Heero had left the room; just the fact that he did leave. Cloud felt his knees weaken and slowly moved backward till he felt a solid surface against his spine and sank to the floor. His mouth hung a bit dumbly as he tried to sort out his emotions. It seemed they were all in a jumbled mess and he wished more than anything that he could just feel numb rather than the millions of conflicting emotions baring down on him.

Sadness, loss, relief, regret, guilt, loneliness, hope... all these battling yin and yang responses to the past events. There were so many possibilities both offered and lost. So much he didn't understand. He felt pathetic not knowing how he himself felt. How could he not understand what he wanted? Why couldn't he be more decisive?

Part of him wanted to chase Heero down and say something anything to correct this. But it was over shadowed because he knew far to well no matter what he felt for Heero it wasn't as strong as what he felt for Zack. And with the thought of Zack came a crushing weight of questions left unanswered; things left behind doors and tucked away hidden. How could he ever tell Zack? How could he not?

"When did things get so difficult...," drawing his legs up and laying his arms over either knee he tapped the back of his head repeatedly against the wall behind him. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes with a soft sigh expelling from his chest, "What should I... what can I do?"

_Zack sighed as the raven laid his head back against his crossed arms. The couch he laid on did little to relax him. Cloud still hadn't come. Zack was sure the boy would stop in and more than a few times Zack had to jump up and do squats in the middle of the room to keep himself from dragging the blonde back for a chat by is collar. The squats of course earned a shake of the head from Kunsel; who by now knew full well that if Zack was doing squats he was getting antsy. Not that he could blame him. _

_With a huff Zack stretched himself out as far as he could before rolling on his stomach and glaring at the door. What the hell was taking that kid so long anyway. _

_A chuckle startled Zack from his glaring as Kunsel's hand descended upon Zack head ruffling his hair as if he were a pet, "Easy Pup, glaring at the door won't make him walk through it any faster." _

_Zack batted his hand away faking an annoyed look but the tug at his lips betrayed him, "Yeah, Yeah alright, I'm just... " _

_"Impatient," Kunsel offered. _

_At the mini glare sent his way Kunsel just laughed knowing he hit the nail on the head, " Listen I'm gonna step out for a bit. I'm a bit sore so I'm gonna spend some time in the sauna and get something to munch on. Want me to bring you back anything?" _

_At the prospect of delivery Zack perked up, "Wouldn't mind a drink. None of that flavored water shit though; had the lemon flavored couple weeks back and I swear they dipped socks in it instead of lemons!" _

_"Those bastards," Kunsel bit back a chuckle, "Conspirators I'm sure." _

_"Oh shut up," Zack crossed his arms and huffed. Although, to be quite honest, the playful banter was much appreciated. It gave him at least a moment of normalcy. Zack was very grateful to have met Kunsel, he could honestly say the other man was someone he could sincerely call a friend. It was rare, especially within SOLDIER, to be able to have good, close friends. Sure Zack socialized with other members but with his short attention span it was a miracle he remembered their names let alone kept them more than casual acquaintances. _

_"I'll bring you back untainted water," Kunsel waved his hand over head before he opened the door. Just before stepping out Kunsel chuckled, " And Zack." _

_The raven looked up blinked in wonder. _

_"Patience," he drawled out. _

_Kunsel ducked out just in time to avoid the pillow tossed off the couch, "Ass," Zack chuckled without malice. _

_Kunsel walked down the hall with a slight sigh. He really hoped what ever was going on would settle itself down soon. This whole messy situation between Zack, Cloud, and Heero seemed way out of hand. Though he supposed it could be far worse. At least Zack and Heero shared a common interest in protecting the blonde, and his feelings to the best of their abilities. It was a wonder they hadn't went at each others throats. He was grateful for that. At least Zack and Heero knew better than to forsake comradely in favor of personal interests. Cloud himself, Kunsel couldn't quite pin him. There was something over his shoulders. Something that Heero obviously knew that Zack didn't. It was apparent in the actions taken place in the cell on that frightful mission. He could tell the second Cloud had frozen in place and the way he noticed Heero's jaw set and shoulders square. Sure he was sure that it had a lot to do with Heero feeling protective, but he was sure there was a glint in his eye that said there was more to it than that. Maybe he was reading to much into things but so far his intuition had been right. He had always been very perceptive, one of the reasons he made it this far in the military that much he knew. But there was only observations to go by for the most part and Cloud was a rather difficult one to read. He seemed a bit detached, at least for the time that Kunsel had known him. But if he had to guess there had always been a certain level of detachment within the blonde. He seemed like one of those types with defensive walls invisibly built up to protect them. The only thing that questioned that theory was Heero. Unless Cloud didn't open up to Heero at first. Maybe Heero knew all along what was going on with Cloud. It would explain some things. _

_From what Zack had talked about Cloud and he had always been close since the blonde had moved into Zack's little town. Well short of when the friendship met some reluctance when he had first moved there but he was sure Cloud couldn't resist Zack growing on him. That was one thing about the raven; he was infectious. It was no wonder he was able to draw out Cloud and make friends with him so quickly. And a certain blonde ... speaking of which. Kunsel perked up when he saw Cloud making his way toward him; toward Zack and his room. _

_Kunsel smiled in a friendly manner and raised a hand as a short Hello to which Cloud nodded his head with a quiet greeting before moving past each other. As Kunsel moved down the hall he silently prayed that Zack and Cloud would be able to mend all the loose ends effecting them. _

_Patience he says. Paaaaaatience. This was Zack we were talking about people. Zachary Fair. The most IMPATIENT person. He could barely sit still let alone wait around for a certain someone who should've been here forever ago. Well... not that he had set a time or anything. And really, well, ok so the he had asked the blonde to come. It wasn't exactly a requirement. But gaaaaaaaaaaah! _

_Zack jumped off the couch and scrubbed his hands back and forth through his hair a bit roughly trying to quell his unsettled state. Glancing side ways to the mirror hung on the wall Zack just frowned. Now he had his hair sticking out hazardously in every direction and he didn't feel the least bit 'quelled'. He paced for a moment before deciding he should stretch his legs and walk down the hall. Maybe take a quick moment to himself outside. Or maybe just casually happen to walk down the small hallway leading up to Cloud's room and while he was out that way he might as well knock, you know, cause he would already be there and all. So why not? _

_With resolve in place to aimlessly wander and 'involuntarily' find himself oddly in the same hall as Cloud's room and just happen to be passing by Zack made his way over the door. No sooner did he move to open the door did a soft knock resonate through the wood. Zack blinked before wrapping his fingers around the door knob. His heart suddenly making itself known by lightly beating louder in his chest. Zack swallowed and licked his lips before taking a small breath and opening the door with a smile. _

_"Hey Cloudy I was startin' to think you...," Zack's voice trailed off as he looked at the blonde with a furrowed brow. Cloud looked smaller than normal. His eyes to the floor off to the side and his shoulders slumped a bit. He could tell by his posture that he was both tired and something was obviously bothering him. _

_"I-I'm sorry. I meant to come sooner I just..," Cloud's lips pressed into a line as something flickered in his eyes that Zack couldn't quite pin. _

_Blue eyes trailed over the blonde's figure and he couldn't help but remember those nights Cloud would come to his room and sneak through the window. Shoulders' slouched much like they were now looking so frail in his light pajama's. Cloud had come a long way from that skinny fragile child. His shoulders had broadened a bit and he put on some more lean weight. Zack mused that he would always be tiny but he by no means was scrawny. _

_Either way, Zack couldn't help but see Cloud as frail at that moment, "Don't apologize... is something wrong," he asked cautiously. _

_The way Cloud's bottom lip trembled briefly shocked Zack a bit, as the blue eyes seemed more damp than usual. To confirm his suspicions he watched a traitorous tear fall over the blonde's cheek. Instantly Zack put his hand on Cloud's shoulder, "Cloud..." _

_Before he could get another word out Cloud quickly moved forward as Zack allowed the blonde to do as he wished. Leading Zack backward he buried his face into the others chest sinking as Zack's back hit the wall behind him. Zack slid down the wall following Cloud to the floor as he wrapped his arms protectively against the others frame. _

_Cloud didn't wail or sob or sniffle. But the wetness against his shirt and the quaking of his body were evidence enough. Zack didn't press the matter, and ignoring the fact that they hadn't shut the door and that they were more than likely going to regret sitting on the cold floor when a perfectly comfortable couch lay just a few feet away. He didn't care as long as he was able to provide some sort of comfort to his best friend. To the one he now knew he loved. _

_Rather than question Cloud he held him close in silent understanding; much like the numerous times Cloud had come to him back home. Even if sometimes he didn't know what it was that bothered the blonde he didn't pressure the blonde in telling him. Nor would he let his curiosity get the best of him when the blonde was like this. It pained Zack every time it happened. Not just that his friend was upset but also because there was little he could do without knowing. And that alone hurt that Cloud felt like he needed to hide things that frustrated him this greatly. Even if it was something Zack had no control over he still wanted to at least try to smooth out what he could. _

_For now he settled for trying to relax the blonde in his arms. He gently stroked the blonde's hair in silence as he let his fingers run around the hairline behind Cloud's ear. He could gradually feel a slight release of tension from Cloud's taunt and stressed form but not nearly enough as far as Zack was concerned. He wondered what kind of things could be haunting the blonde; what was hurting him this much? _

_Zack smiled despite the situation, albeit a bit bitterly. He was at least happy that this much hadn't changed. That he still was able to provide something for his companion. He leaned forward more in order to rest his face against Cloud's hair stealing a chance to smell the familiar scent. He took comfort in the fact that in essence Cloud was still Cloud. He smelt like Cloud, he was warm like Cloud, he still needed him like Cloud. His chest swelled a bit at the mixture of sadness and pleasure of it all. The fact that a handful of times he could've lost Cloud stung in an unfathomable manner. _

_He was in such a trace as he mulled over the past and present and the blonde held tightly against him; where he truly belonged Zack's mind added; that he hadn't noticed the soft string of apologies slipping from the blonde's mouth. Like a mantra Cloud kept repeating himself over and over again in such a broken tone that Zack felt his chest would cave around his heart at any moment, "Cloud... You don't need to apologize. You never need to apologize Cloud." _

_When the soft yet insistent apologies didn't stop Zack moved his hand from Cloud's hair to his jaw to draw Cloud's face to meet his. Zack felt his heart both skip a beat and break at the same time. Cloud's eyes were rimmed red, the moist blue orbs finding his own blue eyes. Tears tracked both sides of the boy's cheeks drying in some spots and still very moist in others. His skin a bit paler than normal and Zack noted that Cloud's slightly parted lips were a light tinge of pastel pink rather than the normal pink tinted fleshy tone. Zack couldn't help but think that he looked younger than he was at that moment; perhaps that wasn't it.. perhaps he just looked vulnerable like he did those nights seemingly so long ago. _

_His thoughts hadn't caught up with his actions; or maybe it was his thoughts were distracting him from his actions. Either way Zack felt a slightly trembling warmth against his lips. He could taste something to unfamiliar yet he couldn't place why he felt he should know exactly what this taste belonged to. He was vaguely aware that the face held in his palm felt a lot warmer. He was also somewhat aware that his other hand had ended up entangled in soft blonde strands; his fingers woven in the fine silky hair. It wasn't until he felt his lips move against that soft plump surface, whose taste he knew he should know, that his mind registered that he was speaking. And by than it was far to late for his mind to catch up to the slip of words that came out of his mouth in a soft admission, "I love you." _

_It was than that his thoughts were halted. His mind focused and clarity shoved itself smack into his obliviousness. The new found burning warmth under his hand holding Cloud's jaw was due to the blush that now spread from both cheeks to lightly dust even the bridge of the blonde's nose. The hand woven in Cloud's hair was pulling Cloud's face closer to his. And judging from the tingling sensation lingering on his lips and the simple fact that when he spoke his lips moved against the blonde's it was safe to say he had kissed Cloud. _

_Zack felt panic start to arise. It was bad enough he just kissed Cloud; granted he was sure by the way his body hummed that he very much enjoyed it; but he had also admitted his newly confirmed feelings toward him. He was frozen into place as he searched Cloud's wide blue eyes; he couldn't move even if he wanted to. Or at least he was sure of it, maybe, he could try. But than again... Maybe it wasn't embarrassment and nervousness keeping him frozen stiff. Ok, so that had something to do with it he was sure, but he couldn't shake the fact that he didn't 'want' to move. The gentle breaths warm against his lips. Their flesh so close he could feel the warmth radiating from them. It felt... right.. _

_"Cl...Clou...," any form of apology whether it was sincere or not went unspoken as Cloud tenderly pressed his lips against Zack's. The raven felt a spark travel through him as his fingers unconsciously tightened. Cloud didn't wince as the fingers dug a bit more than he was sure Zack realized. Instead he concentrated on the lips moving against his in such a foreign yet enticing rhythm. It was like their lips fit together so perfectly. Finding a perfect contrast of pressure and movement. _

_Cloud felt his heart flutter and as he placed his hand gripping Zack's chest over the raven's heart he was amazed that Zack's heart hadn't beat right out of his chest. The strong thrumming of his heart against his chest was felt clearly under cloud's pale hand. _

_There was something so surreal about this moment. Cloud couldn't be sure if this was really all happening. First Heero and now Zack? Did Heero know all along that Zack felt this way for him? Is that way Heero gave up on him? And Zack.. when? When did Zack's feelings of friendship develop further? When had he discovered that he like Cloud pined for his best friend? _

_Some discoveries were all to much. The thoughts and feelings overwhelming the blonde once more and an odd combination of a whimper and a moan vibrated against their lips. Fresh tears springing up in the wake up of the others. How did he deserve either one of these two? How could they love someone like him? He could do nothing... absolutely nothing. Not for himself, not for them. _

_He felt himself falling back on his old defenses as of late. Just like he had before he came to Gongaga. Before Zack. _

_"Cloud," his mother called upon hearing the door swing open and gently click shut, " Dinner will be ready shortly." _

_He offered a muffled thanks before quickly making his way up the stairs before his mother could witness his ragged state. It wasn't like he wasn't prone to come home after bullying. Consider who his father was the other kids felt like he deserved it. How could he be held accountable for his father's actions? Eventually that question died off his lips. What was the point of asking questions when nothing would change. He couldn't change what happened, his mother couldn't change what happened, his father couldn't take everything back and come home. No there was nothing that could change the past, so again why bother asking questions?_

_Cloud winced as he shut himself in the bathroom and looked in the mirror. There was some mud caked in his hair and over his cheeks. Not that he himself wasn't covered in the wet earth. With a sigh he began to tenderly peel off his shirt. His ribs protesting a bit. One particularly hard shove to the ground rewarded him by landing against his side against a rock. The swelling and slight bruising would take at least two days to calm down but he was sure it would be bothering him well into the week. _

_Ending his musings he quickly cleaned himself off; frowning in the mirror when he realized his cheek was scraped pretty bad. He'd have to pass off some lame excuse for that one. Chalk it down to clumsiness he supposed. Washing out his hair and grabbing a towel to dry off the young boy gathered his soiled clothes and deposited them in the wash basket before quickly retreating to his room. _

_It wasn't until he adorn a fresh pair of night clothes that he made his way downstairs. His mother frowned upon seeing Cloud in his pajama's. It always worried her that he never went outside to play with the other children. A couple times she suggested he go out instead of staying cooped up in the house all day but Cloud insisted he liked coming home to keep his mother company rather than run around with the other kids. She bit back a frown at this. Her son was far to mature for his own good. Any other boy his age would be outside playing begging to stay out until the sun set yet her son was content in coming home to study, read, or just stay up hanging out with her. Of course she was grateful for it. She was sure that not a lot of mother's had such a well behaved boy. Nor did they get to enjoy the amount of time she did with her child. She was lucky. _

_But still... she wished the boy would enjoy himself more. _

_"Cloud Strife, what happened to your cheek," she clicked her tongue as she strode over to inspect the small injury. With her lips pressed in a line she shook her head, "What happened?" _

_"I fell," Cloud offered lamely. _

_"You fell," his mother repeated albeit disbelieving. _

_"It's really muddy out today," he supplied, "I just lost my footing. I put my clothes in the hamper." _

_She shook her head with a small sigh before flicking his nose playfully, "What am I to do with you mister. Come sit down we need to clean your cheek properly you have some debris left in some of those cuts." _

_She sat across from him carefully cleaning his cheek trying not to let it hurt to much. The cuts weren't that bad but the antiseptic she was sure stung a little bit. She suppressed her frown as she knew very well Cloud wasn't as clumsy as he liked her to so believe. Her son was very graceful on his feet and rarely got flustered. But she wouldn't push the matter not if he didn't want to talk about it and sure enough unless something were to really place her son in harms way she would respect that fact. _

_Hesitantly, Cloud looked over to his mother's face than redirected his gaze to the wall pretending to find a interesting point to stare at. Quietly at first he mumbled a question and at the tilt of his mother's head that she hadn't quite heard him he repeated a little stronger, "Was dad... was dad really a traitor?" _

_His mother froze for a moment her mouth suddenly dry but she quickly wet her lips with her tongue not wanting to delay in her response, "I wouldn't go as far as saying a traitor Cloud. Though depending on whom you speak to they might say that." _

_Cloud let his eyes catch his mother's for a second before returning to the wall, "What he did was cowardly," he spat out. _

_It was rare for Cloud to say anything about his father. Even at a much younger age Cloud had very much accepted that he had a mother and only a mother around. He only once had a question about his father sometime after first attending school when he over heard some of the other children's parents whispering about him. Gossip was far to common in a small town like this. Everyone knew everyone's business. And quite frankly Cloud's fathers was a difficult piece of information to chew._

_"Perhaps," his mother agreed softly, "But we don't know all the details you know. Something really bad could've happened to make your father..."_

_"The end result was still the same," Cloud shouted suddenly. Shocking his mother still in place until she regained her Barings and looked off at the side. _

_"A cowards' a coward," Cloud rationalized, "He was bound to show his true colors eventually, besides things like that you can't change. It's just who he was!" _

_"And who was he Cloud," his mother spoke softly, "You didn't know your father. You didn't know what he was like. He was kind, and funny, and he was smart just like yo-"_

_"Don't compare that man to me," Cloud clenched his fists at his sides. _

_Upon seeing his mother's hurt expression Cloud sighed before jumping of the chair, "I'm sorry Mother... I-I'm going to bed early tonight. I didn't mean to-...I'm sorry." _

_It wasn't too soon after that that his mother thought a change of scenery, as she called it, was needed. In a couple short weeks she organized their move into Gongaga. But Cloud still couldn't look at it as anything other than running away. Nothing could ever change. No, he could never change._

_So many questions. So many. _

_Zack pulled back from Cloud as the wet tears reached his hand and the salty taste found their lips. Both boys felt their breath mingle a little faster than normal. Zack due to the shared kiss and Cloud he was sure not only that but the fact that he had been upset affected his breathing pattern as well. Zack himself would have felt slightly embarrassed at how easily Cloud had stolen his breath but he couldn't care about himself just yet. Not when the blonde was in such a distressed state._

_He played with the hair looping over Cloud's ear as he pressed his forehead against the others, "Cloud, it's ok. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not mad." _

_Cloud's hand caught Zack's wrist to stop him from his administrations. No matter how soothing it was; it pained him how dependent he was on Zack. How dependent he had been with Heero. How terrible he was at maintaining his own independence. _

_"I haven't changed one bit," Cloud muttered bitterly, "I'm still clinging onto you like a lost child." _

_Zack couldn't help the spark of anger that shot through him but he didn't lash out. Instead he caught himself and replied calmly, "You're wrong Cloud. We've both changed."_

_Cloud's huffed and looked off to the side; effectively leaving the hands holding him loosely in place. _

_"Than why am I here right now? Why are you still consoling me? After all the years I still come running to yo-" _

_"I don't want that much to change Cloud," Zack snapped out quickly. _

_"You act like you resent the fact that you came to me," the raven's voice betrayed his pained heart, "So much has happened. So many things are completely different now. I can accept that; I will accept that. But Cloud... Cloud, please leave me this. If nothing else. Please."_

_The desperate plea and the look that came with it stopped Cloud's lips from forming a rebuttal. _

_"I always chalked things up as friendship, and I took you for granted. All those nights you came to me... Don't you understand how good it felt that I was the only one you could go to. That I could be there when no one else was. I didn't see it Cloud, it took me so long... Even when we left Gongaga. Don't you realize how beautiful you are?"_

_Zack scoffed at himself, "I remember thinking I was just admiring a fellow's good looks. The way the sunset lit your face was nothing like the fire out on that mission. You looked drained and tired. Defeated," Zack carried on as he once again pressed his forehead to Cloud's. _

_"I looked at you than and it wasn't until that cocky bastard on the train looked at you that I started realizing I was the only one that I wanted to look at you. Even if at the time I didn't know any better." _

_Zack stroked Cloud's cheek wiping the stray tear away, "Man just the thought of that guy touching you made me want to put his head to those tracks." _

_The raven saw a slight flinch at the mention of that man, Zack couldn't exactly remember his name, but he could recall him being quite a problem for Cloud. Between their training and the incident in the locker room. He couldn't blame Cloud for the involuntary twitch. _

_"Than Heero came along," Zack paused with a soft sigh, "I'm so sorry Cloud. I was so dense. Here I was jealous over every single person that took interest in you and I had the audacity to chalk it up to being an over protective 'friend'."_

_Cloud couldn't help a small smile, "Audacities a big word for you pup." _

_"Awwww," he ruffled the blonde's hair a bit, "I'm not as dumb as I may look; I know sooooooome-things."_

_"There's a lot you don't know," Cloud commented a little distantly._

_Zack closed his eyes, "Than tell me."_

_Before Cloud could protest Zack spoke up, "Only what you're comfortable with, Ok?" _

_Cloud nodded gratefully as he tried to think of where to start. Trying to figure out what he should and shouldn't preview the raven haired male to. But no matter where he picked up he realized that without the beginning none of the other pieces made sense. Everything changed due to Ralph and his gang but he couldn't tell Zack... everything about that night. _

_With a deep breath Cloud decided he didn't need to dive into any explicit details, and should Zack ask he would kindly remind him that he was only to say what he was comfortable with. Like the raven promised. He started out the story of the events taking place after the paintball training. The cafeteria, how he met Heero and Duo, when Ralph's flunkies found him, how Cloud had fought them off and how he was grateful to Heero on both staying out of it and joining in when they decided not to fight fairly. How not to long after Cloud had ended up cornered by the group, and how Heero arrived at the scene. He explained how, the only reason Heero knew; the only reason he talked to Heero about it; was because Heero had been there. Had seen him in such a state. _

_Of course Cloud didn't mention anything about what they did to him. He was sure that if Heero hadn't seen the end result than he would never, ever let anyone be previewed to what exactly took place that night. And short of the doctor that saw him no one else would ever know. _

_A new form of understanding began to talk place as Zack finally started to understand why Cloud went to Heero instead. Also, he felt a bubbling anger at not being able to prevent such an event from occurring. Of course he wouldn't mention that to Cloud, though he was sure the blonde knew how he felt. He wanted to know what happened; but he resisted the urge to ask. If not for the way that Cloud tensed when he spoke about that night, he would've. That, he knew, was uncharted territory that Cloud may or may not ever be able to tell him the happenings of. It was frustrating of course but at least he now understood why things transitioned the way they had._

_Cloud continued on about the exams and the hospital. About how Heero had grown fond of him and how he discovered that he was more interested in the same gender than he was of the opposite. This also led him to discover how he felt about Zack. How like Zack he had thoughts about the raven he deemed inappropriate and pushed back to the confides of his mind. Things he wanted to do or say that he nipped in the butt so to speak. And at this they couldn't help but chuckle at each other. _

_How sadly amusing it was that they both felt this strange feeling for each other all the while and were never able to identify it decisively on their own. And here they were after all this time huddled on the floor just like when they were kids and finally seeing things for what they truly were. _

_As much as Zack had wanted to deck Heero he supposed in a way he owed him. If it weren't for him Zack wasn't sure how long he would've denied his feelings for Cloud. And Cloud, he would've never made such a bold move without his own discoveries through Heero._

_Speaking of which... _

_"Cloud," Zack started somewhat unsure, "What.. What about Heero?" _

_The name struck a chord. Cloud couldn't help but search over the conversation that took place not so long ago with Heero. What happened? Why did it happen? Why so sudden? All these questions suddenly became very clear as that voice once again resonated in his mind; He's waiting for you. Cloud's face fell into guilt as he briefly looked away before he looked back, "I think... I think he knew all along." _

_"Knew..." _

_"That.. I loved you too," Cloud blushed at the words as they left his mouth. "I think he knew all along...," Cloud paused shyly before continuing, "He would never be able to replace you... in my heart." _

_Cloud looked back up somewhat more determined, "Zack. I love you. I think I always have." _

_"Cloud," Zack sounded far to breathless as he moved forward and held onto Cloud for all his was worth. Drawing the boy flush against his own body as their hearts beat against each other. The raven buried his head into golden locks as a genuine smile spread wide across his features as Cloud responded by wrapping his own arms as best he could around the taller boy's frame. _

_Zack kissed the side of Cloud's head with a blissful sigh. Things were as they should be. This is how it should've been from the start; long before SOLDIER. All those nights Cloud came to him. All those times he spent alongside Cloud admiring how wonderful he was. All this time. He had a lot of time to make up for it; and he had all the time in the world. _

_"I'll always love you Cloud." _

_Kunsel paused outside the door feeling a bit guilty that he stole at glance at his two friends from the crack between the hinge and the door frame. But the sight did warm his heart. He was just glad that the two had finally sorted things out. He would've been a bit worried still about how this would effect Kunsel but he never was good at keeping his mouth shut at opportune times. And as far as he was concerned it was a very opportune chance that was presented to him in the sauna when he sat down next to Duo. The long haired brunette had finally made it back from assignment and at the mention of the perfect SOLDIER he couldn't help the glint that crossed his eyes as he saw the name spark an interest in Duo. He had a feeling Duo would handle things quite well with Heero. _

_Smiling at his friend he turned on heel and headed down the hallway. It really wasn't that late just yet maybe he could preoccupy himself just a bit longer. _

_Holy monster of a chapter... kk I pray that this makes up for not posting and I apologize again ~ I am now without internet and living in the middle of the boonies doesn't allow for many opportunities to find a wifi hot spot short of driving 30minutes out and well haha still broke yup yups! ~ Also I was mauling over the idea of eventually turning this into a doujin ~ what do you guys think? Anyway ~ Again I apologize and I hope that this chapter is a breath of fresh air I speeded along but we were past due for everything to fall into place and have heero's role revealed ~ _

_As Always thank you all for reading and I would love to hear some feedback hit that little review button and let me know what you think =D Thank you! _


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